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Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | January 21st, 2009 at 5:21 AM
Introducing Brad
Tags: Self Actualization
I’ve had this weird predilection for hooking up with girls in the oddest of places. Alleys, car hoods, parking garages, they’re all fair game.
I think once you reach a certain level, you find new ways to stay motivated. For me, it’s been trying to place myself in the weirdest logistical situations and still make it happen.Just building more reference points so if I see something I want, the training just takes over.
How did I get to this point?
Hard work and great mentors.It’s an approach that I am familiar with. A year and a half agoI was using this same method for a differentgoal, one where my life would have headed in thecompletely opposite direction.
I had been slaving for7 years, publishing scientific articles, and obtaining a Masters degree to try and get into medical school. Concurrently, I was planning to travel 5 hours and enroll in a school close to where my girlfriend was attending Law School.
We were high school sweethearts, she was my only girlfriend, and we had been together for almost eight years. We were about to take the next big step and move in together. What else could you ask for? We were quickly becoming the quintessential American family.
But this weird feeling kept creeping into the back of my mind. I knew the relationship wasn’t going to last. Was she the one?
She was beautiful, smart, intelligent, and came from a solid background. Where was I supposed to meet another girl like that?
But that first semester apart proved too much. We parted ways amicably, and I dove into the single world wondering, “How the hell am I going to meet another girl?”
Luckily, I found the community as the relationship was dwindling, and started devouring any advice I could find.
Soon enough, I met another girl. But confusing my past experiences with the new material I was reading resulted in a disastrous relationship. I wanted the best of both worlds, a full time girlfriend, and the variety of girls I had always dreamed of.
I was still living in total scarcity. After a few months, on and off, I finally broke it off and moved to the city with a close friend to startworking on this skillset in earnest. Storming the nightlifescene with a flurry of cold approaches, mostly alcohol induced, we went out 50 of the first 60 nights.
I was also writing about my experiences on RSDNation.com. New sticking points were surfacing fast, and with the help of more advanced guys on the forum, I was able to grow my skillset quickly.
The next big boost to my game came after watching Transformations. I realized I wasn’t a closer. With this new mindset I went to a friend’s wedding and ended up pulling some girl into the hallway, stealing a bottle of wine, and sneaking away to drink and makeout with her in the corner. I tried to move things to her hotel room, but she lost the key. So I pulled her to my car instead.
Mmmmm, my first exposure with token resistance. If only I knew then what “We aren’t having sex tonight.” means “We are having sex tonight.”
It was a massive boost to my confidence either way. But I was still hitting a brick wall. No matter how hard I tried, I still hadmassive approach anxiety and was afraid to pull the trigger. Also, relying on booze to approach was resulting in more money being spent on alcohol per month than rent.
One night, after another adventure of binge drinking, and choding about trying to talk to girls, I made the best decision of my life. I decided to take a bootcamp with Real Social Dynamics.
Under the pretense of attending a Biotech Seminar, I drove off to Chicago for what would be one of the most formative experiences ofmy life.
November 9th, 2007.
Meeting up at the Westin hotel, I instantly recognized the RSD crew. There was Stuart L, with long spiky highlighted hair, Alex~sporting a pink insignia t-shirt and bleach blonde hair, and Derek with long hair like a main and white Ed Hardy blazer with a silver tiger logo onthe back. Little did I know that these three would become some of my closest friends over the next few months.
Deep Identity Level Change… Check.
I was a boy before bootcamp, and a man after. There were many concepts and experiencesthat helped in theevolution, but the biggest epiphany was that I just needed to give MYSELF permission. I remember Alex~’s words…
“Dude, at some point you need to just identify with being good at this. Stop trying to LEARN. You already ARE successful. If you want a girlfriend, you can. If you want 10, that’s probably not out of your reach either.”
It was all I needed.
I had been dating a few girls off and on prior to bootcamp. After program, that ballooned out to 7. A month or two later I started working on bathroom pulls. The first night trying, I pulled one girl into the bathroom at a private party, and another into the ladies room at the nightclub.
I was getting massive success. But soon enough, a new sticking point.I freaked out. Started getting approach anxiety again. This time it was for a different reason. I was identifying as someone who was “successful with women”, and afraid to challenge that identity.
Massive ego trip.
My solution was to drop most of the girls I was dating and get back in the field. I did hold on to two, both highly successful, blonde, fit, high self esteem, beautiful girls. One started taking up more time than the other, and slowly became my girlfriend.
This lasted for about two months, and I WAS HAPPY. A relationship is so much healthier when it isn’t coming from a place of scarcity. The craziest part was that I was MORE compatible with her than my old girlfriend. Why had I wasted so many years of my life scared to get out of that relationship?!
But this was short lived, haulted by another epiphany-laden weekend at the RSD NYC Superconference.
In New York, I roomed with Derek. We had winged once or twice since my bootcamp, but we stilldidn’t know each other very well. Over the course of that weekend, something clicked though, the result of great content during seminar, and the nostalgia of hearing Alex~’s Aussie voice again. I had another internal shift, which culminated in just OWNing the Hotel Gansevoort with Derek.
I decided to undergo another 30-day challenge for the month of June. It started off on a random Sunday, where I met another one of my biggest influences, Derek’s wing, Brian.
The night was another huge learning experience where I realized I wasn’t taking responsibility for my actions, I was still afraid to pull the trigger and LEAD. I just accepted whatever was coming my way, letting the girl lead the interaction. It was also memorable because I almost succeeded in the “hat trick” i.e. 3 girls in one night.
Next was another round of bootcamps with Alex~, this time as an assistant. It was two weekends of program pulling girls with both Derek and Alex~, and two weeks of Alex crashing at my house. Gaining wisdom from both of them, I was getting more consistent, building a rock solid inner game, and vastly expanding my sense of entitlement.
Shortly thereafter was the LA Superconference. More glory, as I pulled a stunner and her friend with Alex~ to their hotel room in Hermosa Beach. Alex~ had his girl in the shower, while my adventure ended on the asphalt roof of the hotel.
The following week, Jeffy was in-town for the Jeffy Freedom Tour. After the seminar, we proceeded to wreak alcohol-induced havoc throughout the city for two nights with Derek and Stuart.
All this contact and winging with the best in the game was rubbing off. My confidence was through the roof and my consistency was on the rise.
But after all this traveling, my social circle had fallen apart, andIlost contact with most of the girls I had been dating. So I spent the next two months rebuilding my social circle.
Soon enoughI was back at it, going out with a core group of friends, and dating3-4 girls. A few weeks later I assisted on Alex~’s last US bootcamp. Great program, students all pulled, we pulled, +2 for my confidence.
The following Wednesday, I orchestrated my first threesome. Confidence +2 ... I was mastering physical game, and my self-esteem skyrocketed.
But I wanted more.
I had been hearing stories of Derek and Brian doing legendary things in Las Vegas. 7 girls in 7 nights, followed by 5 girls in 5 nights. The late night hotel staff even knew who they were strictly based on their ability to pull. This is the type of environment I needed to immerse myself into, and see how my game measured up.
The first memory I have of that weekend was attending the grand opening of the club Lavo in the Palazzo. There were celebrities and beautiful women everywhere. But I couldn’t get anywhere with these girls. My natural physical nonsensical game was getting me to open, but not much beyond that.
We still ended up pulling some Mexican cuties back to the hotel, but my confidence was dwindling. A new sticking point was uncovered. My verbal game sucked.
My style is very much rooted in my belief/sense of entitlement, physicality, body language, and tonality. But the words coming out of my mouth didn’t mean much. That was great to a point. But to reach that next level, I needed to build the “million dollar mouthpiece.”
Later that week I hooked up with two different girls. The hotel staff remembered my name too after jumping out of the passenger seat of some girl’s Ford Mustang at 2AM. The other girl was an Israeli, with a story that could only take place in Las Vegas.
Luckily, foreigners take a big cut in gambling taxes. We went to the Bellagio after meeting at the club, and when her sister won $1500 dollars at the slot machine, she put it in my name and paid me $100 dollars to preempt a tax fee. One hundred dollars richer, I took my girl up to her room while the sister continued gambling.
All in all, between the three of us, we pulled over 15 girls back to the hotel, and I made massive improvements in my verbal game.
The next weekend, I assisted on another program with Ryan, Papa, and Derek. I must have made some sort of impression with Papa, because he asked me to travel to LA and celebrate Tyler’s birthday with him, and be a part of his first LA bootcamp.
So, even though I was broke, traveling constantly off of my credit card, I had to take the opportunity to meet Tyler. The months of work with the best in the world all culminated in that trip to LA. The bootcamp went great, and my game was in top-notch form.
A week later I was selling everything I owned and packing my suitcase, preparing for the Real Social Dynamics Instructor Training Program. Exactly one year after my bootcamp.
As I write this from the Marriot Hotel in Amsterdam, I wonder, “What lies ahead?”
One year. Imagine the next…
The lessons learned are that surrounding yourself with the right people, being open-minded, staying positive, and TAKING ACTION gets you far.
Put in the effort and anything is possible. Now it’s my job to show YOU what is possible. It’s not a matter of if, but when…
Are you ready?
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | February 9th, 2009 at 2:59 PM
How to Build a Sex Life Out of Your Wildest Dreams
Tags: Dating Techniques | Self Actualization
So you’ve been going out consistently, heading to the bars and nightclubs trying to find that perfect girl.
Have you been hitting the “glass wall”, where you can get a conversation started, you can get a phone number, but are having problems getting the girl back to your place?
What follows are the five most important factors to consider when you want to move things forward quickly…
1. Manage Logistics
If you start going out consistently, it is not going to be very hard to get a girl to like you, your biggest hurdle is going to be logistics. This is something you need to consider BEFORE you even step out of your door.
Where are you staying?
Your place:
Is it close to the bars? Do you have easy transportation to your place?
Friend’s Place:
Do you have a key? How are you going to get there? Do you have a room/couch for isolation?
Hotel:
Don’t forget multiple room keys. How do you plan to isolate her if there isn’t a separate room? Make sure your bed is made
2. Have the right mindset
The most CONSISTENT approach is to determine RIGHT OFF THE BAT what your goal is for the night.
If you are traveling lets say, and only in a city for one night, a more assertive “go for broke” style works best. You want to set the frame of “This is going down tonight!”
Screen right off the bat to see if it is even possible. Go into every interaction with a hard core screening frame.
For me that means these golden words within the first five minutes…
“So, what are you up to later?”
Bad Responses:
-“Ahh… Well… I’m the designated driver, so I’m just hanging with my friends for a bit then heading home with them.”
-“I’m staying with my brother, just visiting my family for the weekend.”
-“I am showing my friends a good time, then we are all crashing at my place 30 minutes away.”
It doesn’t matter how attractive she is, or how much she loves you. These situations are going to be very hard to work through, so I’ll usually move on.
Abundance Mindset!
Good Responses:
-“Looking for a party!”
-“Whatever, what are your plans?”
-“Who knows, we’ll see where the night leads me…”
Obviously these are great answers. Look to lead in these situations and push the interaction as quickly as you can.
3. Convey yourself as the “sex-worthy” guy
You want to convey PHYSICALLY that you are a man that TAKES WHAT HE WANTS and isn’t held back by social constraints.
Get physical right off the bat and KEEP ESCALATING.
You need to lead the conversational as well. To lead things in a sexual direction I like using the tried and trusted “push-pull” technique.
“What are you doing to me?! I was just trying to have a good night out with my friends, and you got me all hot and bothered!”
As the night progresses and it looks more and more like she is down to hookup, I’ll escalate to even bolder statements. Here’s an example:
“You don’t even want to know what I’m thinking of doing to you right now.”
This gives you an opportunity to see how receptive she is towards going home with you. Based on her response, you will be able to see if she is ready to leave, or if you need to build more trust and comfort first.
4. Prepare for Paydirt
It just comes down to putting your balls on the line and LEADING.
LEADING is key. The circumstances are tenuous, and you can’t show any signs of uncertainty. So it is important to be assertive and decisive.
There are two different techniques for when you leave the venue.
Have a reason for taking her to your house.
“Oh, I have to show you these cool fish/DVDs/youTUBE videos!”
The key here is to OVERSELL IT! “You have to come see the COOLEST FISHTANK IN THE WORLD!! C’mon, it is going to be SO FUN!!!”
The other choice is not to give a reason at all.
“C’mon. Sko’ sko’ sko’. Right now. We are leaving NOW!”
I actually prefer the second option because it is usually obvious that we are going to hookup.
5. Closing the deal
It is important to keep the energy UP as you go back to her place or yours. Again, it’s a tenuous situation where too much lag time will dissipate the tension to a point where neither of you are in the mood. So keep flirting, joking around, messing with the cab driver if in a taxi, and so on. Just keep the energy up until you get to your place.
If you do things right it should lead to a Win/Win situation where both parties are happy. You took all the right steps to prevent any mishaps and resistance, ending in glory. Congratulate yourself… and the girl.
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | March 11th, 2009 at 1:53 PM
Texting: Helping Guys Get Laid Since 1993
Tags: Dating Techniques
I come from the camp that EXCLUSIVELY uses text messaging when I want to plan a date. I’ve never been much of a talker on the phone.
Now I don’t want to discourage YOU from using the phone, but personally I view text messaging as a much more efficient method.
The biggest advantage is that you have extra time to think before responding. You can be more methodical and tactical compared with oral conversation. Texting is also attractive because you can prevent falling into long boring conversations. You can just cut to the chase, and not have to worry about accidentally sticking your foot in your mouth.
What follows is a list of techniques that have DRAMATICALLY increased my success and helped many of my clients.
1. Only answer texts that are beneficial towards escalating the interaction.
This is the BIGGEST thing you need to pound into your head. Realize that you DON’T NEED TO ANSWER ANY TEXT.
If you get a text like “My friend saw you flirting with Sarah last night.” Don’t respond. It is only going to result in an argument.
Just pretend it never happened. It’s only a big deal if you make it one. Let things chill for a day or two, and follow suit as if you never received the negative text.
The same rule applies to texts from people you don’t want to meet up with. “Hey what are you up to tonight?” No need to respond there either.
In the past I would spend hours thinking of noncommittal responses.
Waste of time.
Don’t create unnecessary headaches for yourself.
2. Text the girl the same night you meet her.
When exchanging numbers, I always seem to forget to give the girl my number. But there is a solution. I ALWAYS text every girl I meet at the end of the night.
My favorite: “Hey girl, get home safe. –Brad”
This is good for multiple reasons:
1. There is no need for a response. There aren’t any questions for her to answer.
2. Now she has my number, and knows who the random guy is calling her.
3. It’s like throwing out a “fishing net” and seeing who bites. Maybe she is interested in finding a party later? Natt spiel!!!
3. Utilize mass texts.
On any given night I might grab phone numbers from multiple people. Then, at the end of the night, I would mass text all of them to see how each responded.
Sometimes you get, “Yeah, nice meeting you too!” which is fine. Maybe they don’t respond at all, doesn’t really matter. But sometimes you get “Hey, what are you doing right now?!” -BINGO!
I have had MULTIPLE nights ending in glory by simply throwing out the “fishing net” and seeing what bites.
The same technique works when you are going out for the night. Send out a mass text to a bunch of girls and see how many end up meeting you out.
Jealousy plotlines anyone???
4. Convey emotion through your texts.
In person, I am fairly playful and a bit sarcastic. But it is much harder to convey these traits over text.
I remember trying to be flirtatious once and texted, “Hey! Nice seeing you last night, except for that attitude!” She responded with…
“Oh no, I am so sorry. I had a great time too, I’ve just been so busy lately I probably was a little edgy…”
All it would have taken was a at the end to show that I was joking. The use of emoticons is VERY important. Here’s a site with a list of emoticons. http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/7373/smiley.htm
5. Utilize timing in your texts.
Your response time when answering texts is VERY important. Depending on how long you take to answer a text subconsciously conveys how much value you put on the person sending it.
The goal is to be spontaneous here. Sometimes you answer the text 6 hours later, sometimes right after, then another 30 minute break.
At my last job, I didn’t have a lot of free time to answer texts all day. I’d check it, and then go back to work. Sometimes I would forget and not text her until the next day. It kept girls on their toes and sub-communicated that I didn‘t put a lot of value on their texts.
CAUTION: It is good to be conscious of your timing, but don’t think into it too much. You don’t need to be guessing, “How long should I wait until I text her again?” The goal is to have MANY girls and a BUSY life. Your phone should be ringing off the hook, always someone else to text, or something else to do. You ARE that high value guy that gets around to returning texts when you have the time.
On the same topic, having multiple girls in your life mitigates the amount of attachment you put on each text. The worst feeling in the world is texting some girl to meet up and waiting HOURS for her response. But if you are planning things with three other girls also, each individual text won’t matter that much.
6. Lead the interaction in a sexual direction.
One of the biggest advantages to text messaging is that you can escalate the interaction without having to physically be next to the girl. If you can steer the conversation into a sexual frame, it will make the next time you meet that much more sexually charged.
I always tried to find a way to spin things sexual. The easiest method is through the use of future adventure projections and misinterpretation. I would joke around and flirt until it got sexual, and then LATCH ON to that.
My favorite line was, “You don’t even want to know what I am thinking of doing to you right now.”
Enjoy, and happy texting.
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | March 25th, 2009 at 10:40 AM
7 Hot Tips for the Wannabe Ladiesman
It’s every man’s dream.
Having your cake and eating it too.
I’m talking about a drama free environment of multiple non-exclusive relationships with HOT girls.
But where to start?
Have you ever actually met anyone who has been able to pull it off?
Lucky for you, I’ve gone through the process multiple times. I’ll help you avoid the common pitfalls guys encounter when diving into the world of multiple girlfriends.
The thing I see over and over is the dissonance between what you want and what you project. Looking for a girl you can randomly hookup with, no strings attached, but unintentionally projecting “monogamous vibes” onto the relationship.
This is because main-stream media only gives examples of relationships where sex = monogamy.
Over time I have come to realize that women are just as interested in these types of relationships as men. It’s just the way men come across. It is easy to see why girls expect more out of the relationship, because the man is projecting through his mannerisms and actions boyfriend type “vibes.”
Utilizing these techniques will instill certain patterns that lead to naturally conveying the right qualities. They are very effective, but you don’t want to be a social robot. Be flexible.
Each tip is beneficial when starting out, but after a while your subcommunications will be congruent with what these rules are trying to convey and they won’t be as necessary.
1. Don’t meet up with the girl more than once a week.
If you can keep the relationship to only meeting up once a week, you mitigate the chances of it escalating into something more serious. It keeps the relationship moving at a very slow pace, and neither of you are going to develop a deep emotional connection.
It is a hard-wired human trait that the more time spent with someone, the more pair bonding takes place, where there is an actual chemical dependency between the two of you. It is inevitable that the relationship will head in a traditional direction if you see each other too much. And what happens with a traditional BF/GF relationship? Exclusivity.
Also, don’t text/call the girl EVERY day. You don’t want her thinking about you day in and day out. It causes positive feedback loops where she is continuously picturing the two of you together, and will try to make her thoughts into a reality.
2. Don’t fall into the traditional frame of buying her gifts, going to dinner, meeting the parents, holding hands, etc.
Basically what a lot of these rules accomplish is that you are trying to keep the relationship out of traditional boyfriend-girlfriend zone. The more actions you do that can be considered boyfriend/girlfriend actions, the more likely she will think you two ARE in a serious relationship.
This also pertains to how you act with your mutual friends and when going out to bars/clubs together. Treat her like every other friend, and DON’T GET JEALOUS if she is talking to other guys.
You aren’t exclusive with her, so why should she have to be? Just because you meet each other out doesn’t GUARANTEE that you are going to end up together at the end of the night. If she ends up with some one else, it shouldn’t affect you.
3. Be discrete.
Don’t flaunt your successes. No matter if it’s just with your friends or other girls, it’s a bad idea. Word will spread that you “kiss and tell,” and if any girl sleeps with you, a lot of people are going to find out about it.
You might be wondering, “But how am I supposed to be considered the ‘sex-worthy’ guy if no one knows it?”
It is SUBCOMMUNICATED. It’s pretty obvious based on how often you see the girl, and the way you act around her that you have lots of options, and are probably seeing multiple women.
4. Don’t worry about the “relationship talk” until it comes up. NEVER be the one to bring it up.
I hear it over and over… “What do I do when she asks what are we? Let’s be boyfriend-girlfiend?”
Follow my advice, it’s a non-issue until it becomes one. Don’t worry about.
Some people suggest proactively telling the girl what your intentions are…
Well, unless the girl is VERY non traditional and sexually open, you are going to have a lot fewer options, because most girls just aren’t willing to frame the relationship in that way.
It’s more of a tacit understanding. It doesn’t need to get talked about until things reach a point where one of you builds a strong enough emotional attachment that you desire more from the relationship.
5. When “the talk” does come up, be honest.
Don’t lie to her about how you view the relationship. Be straight forward, and don’t pussyfoot around. Honesty is key.
You probably really enjoy her company, the sex is probably pretty good, but you aren’t in a place in your life where you want a serious relationship right now.
This is not some line, but actually the headspace I am in when this discussion comes up.
EXTRA:
Two questions that girls ask, that they NEVER want answered…
“How many girls have you been with?”
“Have you been with any other girls since we started hooking up?”
I am all for the authentic/genuine guy thing, but certain things are just going to destroy the relationship. How do you answer these properly?
Girl: How many girls have you been with?
YOU: I understand what you are trying to ask. Don’t worry I have always been safe and am tested.
Girl: Are you hooking up with any other girls?
YOU: Girl, I have been so busy, I don’t even have time to THINK about other girls…
-Again, it’s tacitly subcommunicated that you are seeing other girls, no need to verbalize it and hurt the woman’s feelings.
6. Don’t flirt with other girls in front of her.
It’s cool to talk to girls, just don’t actively flirt and start making out with someone in front of her. It’s mean and tacky.
Jealousy plotlines and the like are great during the initial interaction, but if you already sleeping together, there is no need to bring jealousy into the relationship.
You should be SUBCOMMUNICATING plenty of non-neediness and being “a man of many options” because you are sleeping with multiple women. No need to flaunt it in her face.
Also, if you already have multiple girls, why are you in such a hurry to go out and meet more when you’re with one of your girlfriends? It smells of insecurity, and an addiction to pickup. Compartmentalize your nights of cold approaching and the nights spent out with your girl, which I know is easier said than done.
7. Monogamy is Un-Natural!
Haha, realize that these types of relationships are more natural and commonplace than you would expect. It’s just something that isn’t talked about because verbalizing it goes against some of the core tenets of how these relationships form.
Stick to the rules, but be flexible as you get more experience and see where it leads.
Welcome to the secret society.
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | April 6th, 2009 at 5:32 AM
Let's Dance!
It’s time to taste the forbidden fruit.
We’ve all had the experience. You’re walking through the club, trying to feel out the vibe, but something seems awry.
No one is making eye contact. They all seem fixated on something else.
Every man in the room has his attention on ONE thing.
You turn around and see her. The stunning gyrating gorgeous woman looking like god’s gift to mankind. She’s drawn all the attention, seductively dancing on the dance floor, soaking in all the validation.
You try to inch your way over, but guys are just waiting, hovering around, trying to get her attention.
You think about making your move… But everyone is going to see it! What if you get rejected?!
The music is so loud, how would you even talk to her?
What most guys don’t realize, is that this seemingly “impossible” approach is one of the easiest you can perform. There are ways to build MASSIVE levels of attraction with this archetype of girl.
95% of guys are too intimidated to approach, or if they do, it’s a half-assed attempt at grinding her from behind. The funny thing is, the mere ACT of approaching properly and directly catapults you so far above every other guy in the place, that most of your work is already done.
Based on superficial standards, she is the hottest, most high value person in the venue. This gives her a VERY strong reality of being “THE SHIT.”
Your job when approaching is to have that much stronger of a frame. Your state, intent, and intensity all play a huge part in this.
The key is to have an internal state that is SUPER INTENSE with a hint of sexuality. Not the dancing monkey/entertainer man…
It’s the hot burning coal as opposed to the raging brush fire.
YOU MUST GO HARD.
Too many guys just hover about, waiting for the girl to make the move. They just drift around, circling the girls, waiting for one of them to back up and start grinding them.
Don’t be that guy. Take responsibility.
You have to go straight to your target. Like a straight fucking line!
Plow through whoever is in your way and get right in her face.
You should always be walking through the club like you own the place. You are the coolest motherfucker in there, now walk like it!
It doesn’t matter how crazy she is dancing, if there are five muscle-bound guys orbiting around, or if her friends are blocking her out, you got to go straight up to her.
Don’t worry about winning over the friends or group theory, there will be time for that later. Right now it is all about making that initial impression, and building MASSIVE attraction.
Like always, right off the bat you want to initiate a strong physical connection.
The easiest way is to grab right behind her neck and pull her in, with her ear right next to your mouth.
Then YELL in her ear…
The words aren’t important, but the most consistent approach is to use some form of a statement of intent.
“You’re cute. You’re a great dancer. You’re sexy as hell.”
Something that states EXACTLY why you are talking to her.
This is where the stronger reality part comes in.
NEVER dance on the initial approach. Just stand there and pull her in. She will slowly follow your lead, stop dancing, stand there, and start talking to you.
This conveys so many of the right things.
You are unique, following your own path, taking what you want, and not afraid to say what you want or worried about what other people think of you. You are also getting physical, dominant, and leading right from the get go.
These are all VERY attractive qualities.
The girl will most likely answer with something like “Thanks.” Or “You are too.”
The glory of the dance floor is that you don’t have to say much to keep the conversation going. Usually she’ll just start grinding on you after this and you can intermittently exchange names and short little conversations.
Mid-dancefloor game:
When you DO end up dancing, take opportunities to spin around and let her grind you from behind, or spin her and make her grind her backside into you. The dance floor gives you ample opportunities to get physical, you are already basically dry humping, might as well hold onto her hips too.
Feel free to back away every so often and give her some space. Take a few steps back, so you are like 6-7 feet away, and just check her full body out. Then pull her back in and keep escalating.
It’s also pretty easy to go for the kiss from here. With the loud music, your faces are going to need to be fairly close just to be heard. It’s very natural to pull her in for a kiss.
After dancing for a while, it is time to talk with the friends. This is VERY key because you want them to be your cheerleaders, helping you out at the end of the night, not being the drag away girls…
After a few minutes of dancing, ask her something like “So is this your crew?” Get her to introduce you to her friends.
Dance and talk with them for a while. Convey those social cool qualities you have been working so hard to develop. Get them to realize you are a cool guy, not some creep that is trying to take advantage of their friend.
After some more dancing, take the opportunity to isolate your girl to an area that is quieter where you can have a longer conversation and escalate further.
From there, game per usual and take things in the direction you desire.
This technique is SO CONSISTENT. It conveys all the right qualities. Only a super confident, really cool guy would approach her this way, and for your ability to put your balls on the line, you will be rewarded.
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | April 20th, 2009 at 2:38 PM
How a Good Wingman Can DRASTICALLY Increase Your Chances of Success in the Nightclub
There are many advantages to having a tight relationship with your wing when out meeting women. It can really increase your overall consistency, and just makes the adventure more enjoyable.
There are a couple important factors to consider when choosing your wing, but one far exceeds the rest.
1. Altruism
You want to have the type of relationship with your wing where if you “take one for the team” and maybe sacrifice getting laid one night for him, you know he will return the favor down the road.
There have been plenty of times where I ended up making out with a complete warpig to get my friend laid. Other times it was just helping out with logistics and talking with some random guy so he can get a girl’s phone number.
But I know he will return the favor, and has many times.
If not, it’s time to find a new wing. Trust is a big factor when you are out. You don’t want to worry about him secretly shadow lording, or stealing your girls. You want all your faculties on pushing things forward with the girl you are talking to.
So let’s get into some tactical concepts for how to wing properly.
2. Isolation
The only goal when in the field with your wing is to get you or him and the girl isolated.
That’s it.
Too often I see two guys talking with two girls, and it’s just like this weird conversation where everyone is trying to chime in. Ultimately one guy is going to be more dominant, and it’s hard to keep it 50/50.
3. No crossing streams
So as quickly as possible, just start keying in on your target and move in a way so you and the girl have a little distance from your wing and his girl. It doesn’t have to be some big venue change, just get their backs turned.
Girls are totally malleable, all it takes is to start moving away from your wing to the point where you get the girls turned with their backs to one another. Here you are now in isolation. She doesn’t have the social pressure of seeing her friend watch her. You can escalate in this situation.
Also NEVER go two on one with a girl. You both can’t be talking to her at the same time, so if there are two guys on one girl, one of the guys is going to be just standing there.
Not only does this lower his value, just standing around choding… It lowers your value also because you are in some way associated with him as friends.
4. The accomplishment intro
Bringing back the old school, this technique still works great when bringing a wing into your set.
When your wing comes into your conversation, don’t ignore him. Fully turn to him and greet him. You don’t want to just turn, say hi, and go back to the girl. You’ve known your wing for a long time, and you just met this girl, so give him your attention.
If you don’t, on some level she will subconsciously realize that you value her and the interaction more than your own friend. Which is NEEDY!
So, turn to your friend, talk to him for a bit, then introduce him to the girls you are talking to.
My fave: “Hey, this is my friend Casey. He only dates models and has a big dick.”
It’s obvious that we are joking around, which shows neither of us care too much about the girls and are just having fun together. Self amusement.
It also gets the girls wondering if maybe he is well hung and only dates beautiful women, so there are multiple positives.
Similar to the accomplishment intro, it is very powerful to open sets for your wing. It’s great because you can say all the things that your wing isn’t able to. Here’s an example:
“You know what, you would be perfect for my friend. You are totally his type, come meet him. He’s really successful and the BOSS in his home town. Come with me.”
The cool thing is that if you go up to a girl and are approaching for your friend, you shouldn’t have as much approach anxiety because if she says no, she is rejecting your friend and not you.
The best part about this is that when you bring the girl over to your wing, the attraction is FULLY taken care of. Your wing can just chill back and create that vacuum to get the girl investing HEAVILY.
And what does anyone want from an investment? A return.
5. Rock Honors
Another spin on this technique is the “Rock Honors” approach, developed by the RSD crew in Austin, Texas.
I was exposed to the Rock Honors system when I was down in Austin, TX running a bootcamp with Nathan. That Sunday I went out with Tom! and Alex! Unbeknownst to me, they decided it was my Rock Honors night.
I had 3 guys going up to any girl, approaching, and then sending them on to me. Girl after girl, after a while it got to the point where I was just throwing girls around, getting makeouts left and right. I had girls asking if I was a celebrity or something.
It ended up with me running out of the club, heading to some girls apartment. Great Sunday night, and another successful rock honors. You can do this any given night with your friends and just return the favor down the line.
6. The Jurassic Park
Another wing tactic that has only been field-tested a few times is the Jurassic park, developed by none other than Alex~ himself.
It’s pretty advanced and involves having you and two other wings finding a group of three girls. All at once you each approach one of the three girls. Immediately you isolate her to another area of the club, while your wings do the same in opposite directions. Just like raptors preying on unsuspecting victims, the girl gets confused and when she turns around her friends are nowhere to be seen because they are all on the other side of the club. Again, self-amusement at it’s finest.
Go out and have fun with these techniques and cultivate a solid relationship with your wing. It will dramatically increase your chances of success.
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | May 18th, 2009 at 7:40 PM
The Secret Underground World of Hostel Debauchery
I’ve been traveling around Europe lately, and taken the opportunity to experience some of the traditional backpacker type excursions. This includes spending a decent amount of time in hostels.
What I’ve come to realize is that the hostel circuit in Europe is like a fucking underground sex orgy. Seriously, almost every night there is some random guy and girl hooking up.
Note.
These aren’t even guys with game. Random chodes are hooking up with cute girls.
The secret is in the situational environment that the hostel creates. You have a bunch of early 20 something year olds traveling around the continent, only staying in each city for a few days.
Therefore there are no social repercussions. From a girls view point, this is HUGE!
No social repercussions for being called a slut, and no awkward guys stalking them afterwards. There is little to no worries about having sex with any random dude, because they are in and out of their life so quickly, and onto another city within a few days.
The other HUGE benefit, is that they are PRE-EXTRACTED!
No need to worry about pulling the girl out of the club and being all dominant just to try and get her back to your room. She is sleeping at the same place, sometimes in the same room!
I’ve developed a technique for how to get involved in this awesome pool of sexual profligacy.
Per usual, as in most of my articles, you need to start out with a plan and a little research.
When picking a hostel, certain ones will be more known for fun and social characteristics. I don’t care how clean the bathroom is, or how big the lockers are. I just want to know if people who stay there have a lot of fun and it’s easy to socialize.
So, once you pick the right hostel, head there and unpack your belongings.
Then it’s just as simple as heading to the common area and chilling out. I’m on my laptop a decent amount being a forum chode and writing these damn articles, so I’ll just do that in the main lounge area.
The cool thing about hostels is that EVERYONE is in the exact same situation. They are all traveling, usually alone, and are actively looking for some social interaction. It gets lonely on the road, and people are VERY receptive to talk with.
It’s actually really interesting, but the hostel experience has really bolstered my internal belief that “Everyone is friendly.” I’ve gotten so many good reactions from starting conversations with people in hostels, that I’ve built up hundreds of reference points proving that everyone is friendly. It has resulted in me approaching random people in my day to day activities much more often.
The next step to take after starting to converse with people in the common area is to start talking about what is going on that night. It can be both guys and girls, ask where the good bars/clubs are. The majority of the time, no one will know, but EVERYONE is down to go out.
All you have to do is show some enthusiasm towards going out, and say you would like to join in. Most of the time people are happy to have more people to hit up the bars with.
You’ll end up having a group of people, and you quickly develop a pretty deep friendship, for the night. You have instant commonalities because you are all traveling through similar adventures.
Be cool with everyone. Then when you find your girl, it is important to make your intent known fairly early. When I was starting out with this, I would take more of a sneak attack approach because I didn’t want to fuck up the dynamics of the whole hostel group. But what would end up is the wrong girl would pick me, and then all the other ones would back off.
Seriously, it’s that fucking direct. In multiple countries, I would here girls calling “dibs” on guys, the guy they picked for the night.
So make your intention known early. This is pretty easy, just start getting more physical and flirty with your target, more so than the other girls. Watch out when getting flirty with girls you are not interested in, because they are all very receptive due to the situation, and will think that you like them and call dibs, preventing the chance of hooking up with your desired girl.
Now it’s time to get selfish. If you have any skillz in this area you are going to be vastly ahead of most guys you will go out with. Just keep your attention on your girl and shamelessly escalate, in front of the whole group.
Also, don’t feel bad if you go for a girl after she was making out with some other guy in your group. These girls are just super receptive and it’s really easy to escalate, chodes are even doing it, so step up and take the girl you want.
Once you have stated your intent through getting flirty and physical with your girl, and she is receptive to it, it’s just a matter of chilling out until everyone starts leaving to go home.
No need to push it. She’s staying at the same place.
When you get home, then it’s just a matter of getting her isolated. Not even fully isolated, because it’s socially accepted. There are multiple times where people are hooking up in 8 bed dorm rooms while everyone else is trying to sleep.
It’s that easy.
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | May 29th, 2009 at 4:51 PM
How to Get Laid on the First Date
It was a quaint little café. Dark alcoves with plush couches, dimly lit by small candles. Cool chill house music permeated throughout. The staff always seemed distant, yet their pretentiousness somehow added to the vibe. That, or the effects of a few glasses of wine seemed to mollify their behavior.
The best part, it was two blocks from my apartment, and for a brief period of my life became my second home.
During this time I was averaging about 3 dates a week, always with the same itinerary. We’d have 2 glasses of wine, some superficial conversation, and then head back to my place to test out another bottle.
It worked like a charm. Almost every time the girl would either come back to my place, or offer to head to hers. But it wasn’t leading to sex!!!
At one point, I was “dating” 7 different girls and not sleeping with any of them.
It always ended at the EXACT same point. We’d be rolling around on the bed, shirts would come off, but then the scariest words in the world would come out of her mouth…
“Not yet.”
Anything beyond that…
No go.
Where was I going wrong?
Was it something I said? Something I did?
Over the next few months I was able to discern where I went wrong, and developed a few key techniques to overcome this frustrating quagmire.
Failing to Lead the Interaction
I can boil almost any sticking point down to a failure to lead. Whether it be physically, verbally, sexually, emotionally, the root cause is always the same.
This happens in the bedroom too. You have to LEAD the woman.
In current day society, the harshest criticism a woman can receive is being labeled as a slut. For this reason, women are very apprehensive about making any sexual advances.
You cannot be waiting for her to give you a “sign” to take the next step. She is not going to take charge. You can’t wait for her to initiate, it will never happen. You need to take ALL responsibility off of her so she doesn’t have to worry about the social repercussions.
Put your balls on the line and GO FIRST. She will follow your lead, HAPPILY.
Falling into the Provider Role/CHERISHING
The second biggest reason most guys run into issues in the bedroom is because they fall into the typical provider/boyfriend frame. This can happen if you are either “cherishing” too much, or do too many things that could be considered boyfriend-girlfriend type mannerisms.
What happens is, by falling into a provider role, it frames the relationship into the traditional 1950’s dating style. This results in multiple dates, slowly escalating, because the woman wants you to think of her as “not just another notch on your bedpost.” She thinks of you as “boyfriend material”, and wants you to view her in the same light.
The BF/provider frame is subcommunicated. It is projected through all of your mannerisms i.e. how long you hold hands, word selection, etc.
To combat this, you must have the MINDSET of the “sexworthy man.” This is the guy that exudes sexual abundance, having many options with multiple women.
How do you gain this mindset? Well the easiest way is actually having lots of women in your life, but if that is not the case yet, try to stay away from any action that would be considered “cherishing.”
Another way to stay out of the provider role is not “giving the resume” when out on a date. There is no need to tell her every last detail about your entire life. The less she knows, the more she will fill in the gaps with her perfect man. This makes the experience more visceral for both of you when you get home.
Keep Things Playful
At any given time, you should know where the women’s emotional heart rate is at. The most successful way to naturally escalate the interaction is to always move things forward on high notes. You don’t want to escalate during a downswing, the stimulus level just isn’t there.
Pay attention to the basal level of stimulus in any given situation. When you are just lounging around watching TV, there isn’t much stimulus in the area. In this situation, trying to escalate straight into a makeout would seem awkward because there is a large gap in emotional value.
Now think about if the two of you are in a club, flirting back and forth, with loud music playing. Going for the kiss is much more natural because there isn’t as much of a gap between where you are now and the kiss.
The goal is to try to find ways to keep the stimulus level high on your date also. Keep things playful, and you will be able to escalate more naturally.
EXAMPLES:
My favorite is the bag of Starburst.
Now I don’t want to start walking around and seeing women everywhere running around with little square bruises, but it’s fun and works. Say she is coming out of the bathroom. Have a bag of starburst behind the counter and just start chucking them at her. It’s just a simple way to keep things playful, so it doesn’t fall into boring chodeversation zone.
Same thing goes with pillow fights. Say you are already on the bed making out and she stops any further advances. Just be all chill and then real quick start batting her with pillows. With the “buying temperature” increased, it is easy to take the next step in the escalation ladder.
So remember…
Always LEAD, stay out of the provider frame, and keep things PLAYFUL!
And in the long term realize that you won’t have to rely on these techniques as much because, with experience, you will be naturally comfortable in these situations. A lot of the early issues I had, and the techniques I used to overcome them, were just covering up the fact that I wasn’t comfortable with having a girl in isolation, and didn’t have experience in this new environment.
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | June 12th, 2009 at 3:26 PM
How to Build a Strong Physical Connection in Under 60 Seconds
Most discussions on how to interact with women deal with what to say.
To an extent, what you say is important, but as the common adage goes “90% of communication is nonverbal.”
Just think.
How long have human beings been in existence? 200,000 years or so…
For how many of those years have we been able to communicate verbally? Probably about 3,000…
So for the majority of our existence we have been communicating NONVERBALLY.
But you hear of Don Juan and Casanova swooning women with their words. Realize what these stories actually are… STORIES!
You can’t expect to TALK your way into a girl’s heart.
So how do you build attraction and move things in the right direction without talking?
PHYSICAL TOUCH.
You need to get to a point where you are completely comfortable touching a girl throughout the conversation.
RIGHT OFF THE BAT. You don’t want to be waiting 5-6 minutes into the conversation until the idea pops into your head, “Oooops, I haven’t touched her yet, I better start now.”
Too late.
You need to initiate FROM THE BEGINNING. The second you start talking to the girl you should already be touching her. It’s as easy as tapping her on the shoulder, giving a high five, or shaking their hand.
Have your first impression be of someone who is naturally just a touchy-feely guy.
Once this precedent is set, keep escalating!
Slowly escalate things in the proper direction. You can’t talk with the girl all night, not touching her, and expect to get home and just jump on top of each other and start going at it.
Usually before you sleep with the girl, you more than likely need to kiss her. But before you can kiss her, you’ll probably hug her first.
You want to continually be moving things in the right direction…
Through months of research and arduous experimentation I have developed a steadfast rule that will get you dramatic results!!! ; )
Don’t worry, it’s easy to remember…
And even easier to do…
The One Minute Rule
Within the first minute of any interaction, you MUST hug the girl!
No questions asked. No scenario where this isn’t possible. No situation where it won’t lead to a better outcome.
“But she is with some guy, it might be her boyfriend.”
-Doesn’t matter. You can still hug the girl, and at least you will find out early in the interaction if she is taken.
“Everyone is looking, and she might get weirded out.”
-Girls are never weirded out by hugs. They love hugs!!!
“I need a reason to hug the girl.”
-Simple qualification. “Oh you came out tonight?!? Give me a hug for coming out tonight!!!”
“Aren’t you trying to be indirect? Neg the target? Befriend the group?”
-Whatever, hug the whole group, and forget about indirect game…
The One Minute Rule
Hugging a girl early in set conveys so many strong qualities about yourself:
Confidence
Dominance
Assertiveness
Comfortable in intimate situations with females
Friendliness
Sexuality
It portrays that you take what you want.
That you have integrity. You are not held back by what others think of you and social norms. You have your own agenda, and are able to communicate from your core.
It conveys that you are passionate, that you are comfortable with sex. You know what you are doing and have been there before.
You are putting your balls on the line and LEADING which allows her to open up and not be worried about being judged.
The one minute rule will jumpstart your interactions, and help overcome some of the most common pitfalls:
RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO SAY
You don’t need to worry as much about what you say because it will automatically be sexually charged. The weather is way more interesting when you are holding onto her hips.
NOT BUILDING ENOUGH ATTRACTION
By getting physical early, you convey yourself as a sexual being. It shows you are more assertive and confident in yourself and how you interact with others. You take what you want and aren’t held back by social constraints.
These are all VERY attractive qualities.
INABILITY TO CLOSE
Since you have a higher level of attraction it expedites the process of closing. She will be in a better mood/state and more willing to give you her number/venue change/makeout…
By setting the groundwork early that you are a physical guy, it greases the gears, making every other physical barrier easier to cross i.e. kissing, sexing.
Also, escalating quickly is a way to “test the waters.” You have a better understanding of where the girl is at in the interaction. Try to go for the hug or kiss and see if she is compliant. You might be further along in the interaction than you think, and you can stop “gaming” and just get out of the club!
———–
Are you still having trouble wrapping your head around the idea that girls actually APPRECIATE it when you get physical? That they aren’t going to get mad at you?
Realize this…
You are more likely to get blown out from NOT escalating than OVER escalating.
Seems counter intuitive right?
Guys are afraid to dive in and get physical because they think the girl is going to slap them or run away. But realize that by not moving things forward, you are shooting yourself in the foot.
The interaction is bound to stale out because she will slowly realize that you are a chode, afraid to lead and take the next step.
There is usually only a small window for when it is right to kiss the girl, or isolate her, and if you miss it… You are done son!!!
So get comfortable pushing the interaction, and go screw it up a couple of times. At some point you will realize that you can get physical way earlier than you ever thought possible.
Another article that most people find interesting and relates to physicality is the dance floor game article.
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | June 19th, 2009 at 2:09 PM
If This Is A Game, Why Not Use Cheat Codes? (Easy Techniques to Build Attraction)
Look around….
Next time you’re at a social gathering, take in the social dynamics in action.
I can’t turn it off. I’m constantly analyzing guys meeting girls, couples hanging out.
Is it their first date?
Did they come here together?
How’s that guy doing?
Does she like him?
You begin to recognize patterns. Certain variables are consistent in EVERY interaction when it comes to one person being attracted towards the other.
One very important concept…
Attraction = Value
All you need to build attraction is value.
So much of the content and experiences that occur during my bootcamps are based off this truism, and the results from studying this material have been phenomenal.
My own success comes from this same philosophy. When I walk into that nightclub, I AM THE HIGHEST VALUE PERSON THERE! Period.
I’ve been in clubs with celebrities, professional athletes… I think to myself “Yeah, they got their own shit going for them, but I’m still cooler.”
100% belief. Fully. And it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
That is how social dynamics works. The strongest reality wins out.
So I tell students on program, “You are the coolest, most high value dude too! And you don’t need to do ANYTHING to prove it!” “YOU DESERVE A 10!!!”
Haha, the old self-help affirmation game. What response do you usually think I get when I tell a student this?
“Fuck you Brad!”
If someone just tells you a new mindset, do you automatically pick it up, reinforce it, and easily incorporate it as dogma?
No.
So, how do you turn an affirmation into a belief?
Reference points. A human needs experience proving any new found mindset, which is a large part of what we do on program every weekend.
The next issue.
How do you reinforce the mindset that you are high value when you have no reference points proving it, and you need high value to get the reaction to reinforce the mindset?
It’s a circumlocutory perplexity.
So I have developed a variety of cheat codes that are basically just techniques that convey higher value purely through your actions.
The coolest part about it all is that once you DO come to believe that you are higher value, you do these types of things AUTOMATICALLY!
Unconscious competence.
I have a list of about 30 different ways to convey value, but you’ll just have to come on program to get the full shebang. (update: here’s the list)
Haha, sorry guys.
Here are a couple of my faves, mostly the verbal approaches. Maybe in a different article I’ll give more of the body language/positioning/action based techniques for conveying value.
So lets get into the list of cheat codes…
1. Statements not questions.
What is one of the most basic principles you hear all the time?
Never go into interview mode! “What do you do? Where are you from? You come here often?”
An easy way around this is to turn your questions into statements.
“Where are you from?” becomes “You look Swedish.”
This conveys value because you are coming from an authoritative angle. You are taking a risk and making an assumption. It also gets her qualifying herself, and ultimately you get the same response either way, but from a higher value perspective.
2. Lowering your bar for what is acceptable to talk about.
The biggest difference between “routine based” game and “natural” game is that the former uses words to convey value, and the latter uses ACTIONS. Purely by lowering your bar for what you talk about, basically VOMITTING words, shows that you care very little about trying to impress the girl.
If you are just spewing nonsense, are you trying to impress her? What does that say about your level of options with hot girls? What does that say about the type of people you normally talk to? They are probably even hotter and cooler than her.
Along with this is the concept of vibing. Just go up and talk to the girl about any random nonsense.
WITHOUT A GAMEPLAN.
Vibing is conversing without a gameplan, being totally outside your head and not thinking about “WHAT TO SAY NEXT.”
Why does this convey value? Because, as Tyler says in the Blueprint, it’s cocky. You obviously aren’t putting much value on the interaction, and have full trust in your faculties to make it happen.
3. Tonality
This one is huge guys. Probably the most important of all the concepts. There is inherent value in certain types of tonality that convey how much you value yourself, especially compared to the other people in the conversation.
Remember, it’s not about what you say, but HOW YOU SAY IT. If you need a refresher on vocal tonality, check out Tim’s segment on Transformations.
Breaking rapport tonality.
Think about how your dad talks to you, a professor, a police officer, your boss… They all use a certain type of tonality, which has INHERENT VALUE.
People as social creatures have picked up various social cues over the course of their lifetime. We develop certain behaviors for how to act when we have value, and how to recognize when other people have value.
It happens naturally. Your boss isn’t thinking “I need to use breaking rapport now with my subordinates to get them to respect me.” It just happens naturally as he receives more responsibility in his job and takes on the characteristics that HIS boss had.
That is what is great about all these concepts. They happen naturally once you start taking on high value mindsets.
So the process works like this. I’ll tell a student to use breaking rapport tonality when approaching a woman.
The tonality alone conveys value, and builds attraction with the girl. The student then starts accumulating reference points where he just went up and chatted girls, not needing to SAY ANYTHING SPECIAL.
He sees how he can just go up and be himself, with a little tweak in his tonality, and build attraction NATURALLY. He DOES start to feel high value. And as that happens over and over again, he’ll NATURALLY START USING BREAKING RAPPORT TONALITY because he feels high value!!!
It’s a beautiful thing.
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | June 26th, 2009 at 1:55 PM
RSD Book Club!
One of my favorite parts of boot camp is RSD Book Club timezzz.
I give a suggested reading list for what I think will help clients most after program, and inevitably the conversation dives into some intense introspective “inner game” talks.
When suggesting each book, there is a specific order in which students can reinforce the concepts they learned on program best, especially as it relates to the new reference points and theory they learned over the course of bootcamp.
1. The Blueprint Decoded by Tyler
The first thing ANYONE should do after taking an RSD bootcamp is rewatch Tyler’s Blueprint Decoded. I don’t care how many times you have seen it. One of the biggest benefits of coming on program is pushing through 3 days of intense experience and receiving about 6 months of reference points in that time span.
The material takes on a completely different perspective after program, and you get a whole new level of value out of the product. Also, much of the bootcamp seminar is based around concepts developed in the Blueprint, and it keeps you in that headspace long after program.
2. Ozzie’s section in Transformations
If the Blueprint teaches you, “You are enough!” and to stop striving to become a natural, you already are one, Ozzie is all about TAKING ACTION. Having that distinct gameplan on moving things forward and JUST CLOSE!!!
I’ve watched this section probably close to 25 times, and will probably hit it up just as many more to keep reinforcing that mindset.
Assume attraction, be willing to burn the set to the ground, abundance, and CLOSE!
3. The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
Masculine polarity, core intent, dominance… It’s all about being on your path, and as a man, you can’t make the woman your path. You have your life purpose and the women are just a BYPRODUCT.
The concept ties in well for detaching emotionally from any outcome with a girl, how when you are on your path shit tests have little value, and ultimately how attractive it is to be on your path to the woman both while meeting her, and into a relationship.
*4. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
The asterisk is because I suggest this one so highly for younger guys, in their late teens to early 20s.
It’s great for anyone to read, but I think there is immense value for anyone just starting to make their way in the adult world.
One of the key concepts in this book is doing things for the right reasons. There are two characters, both architects, and one became an architect because it was “the right thing to do.” It’s prestigious, it pays well, people will respect you… He is doing it for others and not himself.
Then there is Howard Rourke who became an architect for a creative outlet. People try to put him down, say his work is crap, but he doesn’t do it for others, he does it for himself.
Ayn Rand is great at acknowledging other important concepts like society’s propensity towards reinforcing mediocrity, looking down upon anyone who tries to transcend social norms, and it’s ultimately just a great read.
5. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
If you are familiar at all with Real Social Dynamics, I’m sure you’ve heard of Ecky. This stuff is great for developing control over your emotions, embracing the present moment, and not needing anything external for your fulfillment/happiness.
Those are some great concepts to implement when interacting with women, and life in general.
I also really like The Power of Now, but think that A New Earth is more accessible and an easier read, and therefore a better place to start.
Sure there are a lot of “new-agey” spiritual concepts tied in with any Eastern philosophical writings, but if you can get a handle on the core concepts, it will DRASTICALLY increase your ability to build attraction with women.
6. Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins
If Eckhart Tolle is all about “stop striving and just be”… Tony Robbins is all about ACHIEVE, CONQUER, GOALS, and ACTION!!!
I suggest the actual book here compared to the audiobook format because one of the biggest benefits of Tony Robbins is how he incorporates exercises to make sure you start taking action right away.
Check out my full Awaken the Giant Within book review.
7. Mastery by George Leonard
As you develop your “game” you run into various hurdles along the way. The cool thing is that the cold approach skillset is no different than any other skill you could learn, whether it playing tennis or the piano.
George Leonard talks about learning martial arts and the tribulations that you encounter along the way. It’s all about embracing the process and realizing that you learn the most on the PLATEAU.
Any skill does not develop linearly, it’s more like a stair step process. To realize that when you aren’t seeing results is when you are learning the most.
It’s like a tipping point process where you stay at one level, picking up new reference points until at some point you reach a tipping point where you quickly ramp up to a new level.
So stop beating yourself up if you aren’t progressing and seeing results. Embrace the process and realize THAT is when you learn the most.
It is also a great book for recognizing your learning style –hacker, obsessive, dabbler, and how to overcome the hindrances of each and reach mastery in any skill.
8. Personal Development for Smart People by Steve Pavlina
This is one of the best signal-to-noise ratio self help books I have ever read. No fluff, each sentence holds a lot of value, and ties in nicely with a bunch of other self actualization stuff we talk about.
The value in this book is that he synthesizes concepts from many self help materials, everything from proper eating, to time management, to spirituality, to money management and incorporates it into simple and easy to understand concepts.
The first half was great, although I don’t think the second half was as action packed as the beginning.
Check it out.
———————–
So there is the list I usually provide, and in THAT ORDER. Some other great books that I usually also add if you are an active reader, all of which I gained a great deal of wisdom from…
-7 Habits of Highly effective people by Stephen Covey
-Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
-Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
-The Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman
-Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | July 3rd, 2009 at 1:35 PM
Get HUGE returns!!! (How to get the girl to invest.)
I get lots of feedback when I’m out doing demonstrations chatting up girls on program. A lot of clients see what I am doing and ask, “How do you get her to do all the work?!”
It’s what I’ve been all about recently.
I think it stems from the phase I went through a while back where I was getting resistance all the time when it came to the finals stages before we’d hook up.
At the time, it was probably some sort of lack of experience with a lot of girls, and a failure to lead, which I’ve talked about in “How to lead the girl from the bar to the bedroom.” but also, I’ve tweaked my game in a way to almost completely expunge any instance of the girl being able to throw resistance at me.
One measure is through being totally unapologetic in my actions and words, but here what I want to talk about is getting the girl to INVEST.
What does anyone want from an investment?
A return.
So my whole game lately has been to get the girl to invest as much as possible, and then fully pulling away any validation until we get home.
Then she’ll get what she’s got coming… all night long.
So.
How do I do it?
It starts off in the typical RSD direct fashion, where I go in HARD and DIRECT.
“Ay! You’re cute.”
Something to that effect.
I go in hard and FULLY assume attraction. The cool thing is, if you do it right, attraction IS taken care of.
So from there, it’s like a fucking vacuum. Like she just got drawn into a blackhole and there is no way out.
It’s her own attraction that is causing this, and then I amplify it through various measures.
1. Using statements to get her to qualify herself.
What I’ll do is force her to qualify herself through using various statements/cold reads in a way that gets her to respond appropriately.
ME: So… You look like you don’t get out of the house much.
HER: No! I hit up the clubs all the time.
She starts qualifying her self…
Now one of the money lines I’ve been using a lot lately that keeps this going well.
ME: REALLY?!
-it’s accusatory and gets her to continue qualifying her own answer, and continue investing…
2. Open/closed body positioning
Think of the girl and you as a T shape. You are fully open, talking to her, but she is completely sideways.
-Don’t you hate that feeling, where you feel like you are constantly grasping when you talk her?
Well why not create the same effect with the girl. When I go in, I’ll initially not be fully open body language. Then as the conversation progresses, if she says something I like, I’ll open up my body language more, but if she says something I don’t like, I’ll close off more.
It gets her constantly working for your approval/attention. She’s the one grasping, and you get to choose, reinforce, and control the conversation in a way that gets her talking about things you want, and getting her to again invest.
ATTENTION: OLD SKOOL PICKUP MISINTERPRETATION!!!!
Watchout for the old skool technique of the “over the shoulder opener”. I think on a superficial level, it was trying to accomplish the same idea, but it doesn’t need to be that dramatic. No body rocking necessary.
3. Tonality
This tonality thing guy, it is so important. I talked about how it conveys value and all that in the cheat codes article, but it’s great for getting her to invest as well.
Why?
Because using a certain type of tonality causes the other person to respond with an autopilot response.
Think about when a beggar comes up to you and asks for a dollar. How do you respond?
“No.”
It’s usually a quick response with breaking rapport tonality. They came at you trying for rapport, trying to leach value, and it feels icky. So you come back with breaking rapport to get rid of them.
Well the opposite has a similar affect.
If I come at the girl and say “Who are you?!” with strong breaking rapport tonality, how is she going to respond? Usually with a trying for rapport tonality, and heavily qualifying herself.
ME: Hey, what’s your deal?!
HER: Ummm… well I’m actually a nurse, I’ve been studying for 3 years, ummm… I go to school about 10 minutes fro…
ME: (interrupts) NO… why are you HERE?!
HER: Oh… umm….. well, I am just out with some friends and we like to go out on Fridays and umm.. well, I like to dance and umm…
When you come in with the strong accusatory breaking rapport tonality, you get her to respond as written above. Where she is qualifying herself, talking a lot, explaining whatever it is you want her to talk about.
Then, on some subconscious level she goes, “Wow, I’m qualifying myself here, and talking a lot in trying for rapport tonality, I usually only do that with guys I really like, so I must like him!”
4. Using space
A big thing I teach guys when getting physical is to “let it breathe.” The trouble when you really start pushing the physical escalation is that you don’t want to come on too strong, so it’s good to counterbalance cavemanning with smooth chilled out body language and getting the girl leaning into you as well.
Think of an interaction like having 3 spaces where it’s you, space, and the girl. After you reach the hook point, and start escalating your physicality, intermix moments where you just chill back and get her leaning into you. Moving towards you. Chasing you like it’s her last meal.
5. Jealousy plotlines
Obviously getting other girls into you makes her work harder for you. Basically that means just going up and chatting to other girls. She’ll start going into her head and thinking of ways to “win you back”.
I’ve heard that jealousy is the strongest emotion. And I use it in my arsenal of gaming techniques often.
6. Takeaways
Yep, good old takeaways. I’m always running program so I constantly open sets and then have to go run off and find the students.
I usually have at least once a weekend where I get a groupie girl that follows me around the venue, trying to keep talking to me.
It’s hilarious. Talk about investment. I’ll run into them all over the place, and can tell they are just waiting around trying to find me/get my attention,
Full Stalker mode.
Get the girl to invest as much as possible, and then she’ll be HELPING you, not FIGHTING you at the end of the night.
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | July 10th, 2009 at 11:18 PM
The Golden Ticket to Getting Into ANY Club!!!
I developed my game in a small city. There weren’t even nightclubs there. So I had little experience pushing my way through lines and getting into high class venues.
Then when I started working with RSD and heading to places like New York City, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles I found out real quick that my buddies and I weren’t just walking our way straight into the club.
Luckily I learned from the best and got some great pointers on how to increase your chances of getting my way past the velvet rope.
These techniques have been used across the board throughout the world in over 25 countries now, and the same rules apply anywhere you go.
MINDSET:
The biggest thing to realize is that you can treat a bouncer just like a girl.
Assume attraction becomes assume you are getting into that damn club.
This is social dynamics guys. This stuff works on ANYone.
People are pinging off of you to see how to react, and in this situation, the bouncer wants to make sure only cool people are getting into the club.
I remember a situation in Berlin. We were going out on program and one of the students frequented a cool club that we decided to run boot camp at.
We get to the door… Late… And it’s 4 guys…
The bouncer says, “Sorry guys.”
I’m not sure what to expect, what type of club it is, and think we’re probably going to have to move to a different venue.
But the student nonchalantly explains. “No, it’s cool man.”
Assume you are getting in.
It’s basically a shit test to see how you respond. Just like a girl giving you “the face” when you first go in to approach her.
She is just testing you to see if you run away.
The chode does. But the player sticks around.
Same thing in a venue. The chode runs off, while the player knows the game and just laughs and pushes his way through.
Whether it be getting in the club or getting in the girl’s pants. Have the mindset that “YOU ARE GETTING IN HERE. YOU ALWAYS DO.”
This plays into your actions as you wait to get in as well.
When in line, don’t be value scanning, or obnoxiously trying to get the bouncers attention like a begging dog.
Again, assume it and be cool. Then when you get his attention, subcommunicate that you do this shit all the time and are looking to have a good time.
There has been a lot written about the topic on creating an ecosystem in your city where women are just naturally moving in and out of your life.
So, here are some ways to cultivate a good relationship with the bouncer at your favorite establishment in your home town.
And to tell you the truth you are shooting yourself in the foot if you don’t develop these type of relationships at the clubs you go to.
One little trick that I like implementing is when you get passed the bouncer, of course be sure to introduce yourself on the way in, and then head inside and buy the guy a water.
Make sure to get a bottled water, you don’t want to give him a glass, it’s cheesy and who knows if you spit in it or something. A lot of times they will appreciate it, and it is a cool little way of offering value. This will make him remember you the next time you come around.
Another great way to offer the bouncer some value is by sacrificing him some of your girls.
I remember being in Las Vegas at Body English and the head VIP guy was off duty and just hanging out in the club.
My wing and I basically pulled a “Rock Honors” and went around finding hotties throughout the club. We just started throwing girls at the guy as a peace offering.
What better way to offer value than giving women?
Wars have been fought, money stolen, countries destroyed, all for the girl. Woman trumps all value in the superficial world, and the dude was super stoked and remembered us the next time we tried to get into the club.
Treat your bouncer right.
If the dude has the ability to push you through the line and sign off on cover charges, throw him some cash. You do this enough, be cool in the club and look the part, and you’ll be able to skip the line every time.
The funny thing is that usually the money you tip him is less than the cover charge, and he’ll write you a slip to get through for free. So you actually SAVE money.
Also, know the distinction between the bouncer and guestlist promoter dude. You need to act differently with these guys. You can usually tell who they are by their cute little clipboards…
Sometimes the bouncer can get you in, but he might have to worry about the promoter guy because he isn’t supposed to let anyone in unless they are on “the list”.
He can actually get fired if he lets people in, no matter what the cost. But that doesn’t mean a proper surreptitious bribe won’t do the job when the promoter has their back turned.
If you want to play where the players play, you’ll need to develop some solid bouncer game to get into the high class clubs. Certain cities this isn’t as big of a deal, but all you readers in places like Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Paris, and New York City know exactly what I am talking about.
So feel free to add any other techniques that work for you in the comments section.
Oh, and write a message if you guys are subscribing to my blog RSS style. I might write up more articles in there even if they aren’t posted on the main page if I have enough viewers….
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | July 31st, 2009 at 3:53 PM
Do You Have Problems Where You Run Out of Things to Say? Don’t Worry, Because the Words Don’t Mean SHIT!
I have a deep-seated belief that when you approach a woman, WHAT YOU SAY has no bearing whatsoever in building attraction.
During the weekend bootcamps, where I teach guys how to approach women confidently, we go through a lengthy discussion on why the words you say don’t matter, and try to explain on as logical a level as possible why the words you use don’t mean ANYTHING!
What I would like to do is outline the 6 most important reasons why the words don’t matter, and then teaching you what to talk about with a girl.
1. 93% of communication is nonverbal
- 90, 80, 99, 93… Whatever the percentage actually is, the MAJORITY of human to human communication is done on the level of SUBCOMMUNICATION.
Things like body language, eye contact, tonality, projection, positioning… THESE convey what you are actually saying.
Remember, no matter what words you use, the self is always showing through.
2. Women are emotional, not logical
- As men, we speak on a very logical level.
Think about every conversation you have.
“How was the baseball game?” “It was great.”
“What did you do last night?” “Went to a night club.”
“Have you ever been in a fight?” “Yes.”
Question-Answer. Action-Response.
That is how men talk. This is NOT how women talk.
It’s more like, “I feel fat today, I was walking around and thinking about what type of mother I’d be like, did that guy just stare at me, why?, oooh that phone is pink!”
There is no path, no direction, no logicality, at least in their perfect conversation.
WARNING! I’m generalizing here. Obviously in the work place or a logical argument women too speak logically all the time. But in a night club, or a social get together, women prefer NON-LOGICAL conversation.
Fluff talk.
Vibing.
3. She will find you interesting as long as you are INTERESTED in what you have to say
The old school technique of talking to girls about jeans and fashion is WRONG.
The superficial logic makes sense I guess. Talk about something she is interested in, and she will enjoy the conversation.
But the problem is in the incongruency of a deeper concept of human interaction.
The RSD concept of “Whatever you feel, she feels.”
I don’t care how passionate she is about jeans, if you start getting bored, so will she.
You want to be talking about things that YOU find interesting, whether that be how deep the canals are in Amsterdam, or who your favorite American philosopher is.
You can talk about ANYTHING as long as you are interested, engaging, and charismatic about it.
ANYTHING.
4. Being passionate
That leads into the next topic.
Women don’t care as much about WHAT you like, it’s more that you LIKE ANYTHING!
They are just trying to screen out the guy who, if they dated him, would end up sitting around, living his life vicariously through sports 3-4 years from now.
She wants someone who is passionate.
About anything.
Burning macoroni and cheese, or playing sports, it doesn’t matter as long as she can see that you have some sort of emotional connection towards something.
This one also directly relates to how you will probably be in the bedroom to guys.
Usually the guy who has the dry boring conversation will be dry and boring in the bedroom too. Mechanical.
Whereas the passionate, engaging, charismatic guy will probably act accordingly in the bedroom also.
5. Actions speak louder than words
How many times have you heard that one?
Straight out of elementary school right?
So obvious, but so true.
You convey WAY more about the type of guy you are from how you present yourself and taking action, than anything you could say to her.
Captain of the football team, manager at a night club, who cares if you are too afraid to lead the girl around the club. Or AT LEAST lead the conversation!
6. Lowering your criteria for what you talk about conveys value
Instead of the conversations where you are throwing in DHVs and random “hints” that you are cool, do it with your actions.
HOW you say it.
What conveys more value?
-“Yeah, so I was driving around in my stripper ex girlfriends Camaro and yada yada yada…”
or
-“I like pirates because they drink rum. I was having a fight with my friend because he thinks pirates are from the Carribean, but I’ve heard stories of Julius Caesar being captured by pirates, so they were around way before that.”
One is coming from a place of LOWER value. –read UNACTTRACTIVE!!!!
And one is coming from a place of HIGHER value -read ATTRACTIVE!!!
Can you see which is which and why?
When you just go up to a girl and start spewing random words, what does that say about how much you value the interaction?
Are you trying to impress her?
Are you comfortable talking to a girl of her level of beauty?
Seems like you don’t really care at all if you are talking about burning your macaroni and cheese and what color your shower curtain is…
_____________________________________________________________________________________
This lowering the bar thing builds attraction on so many levels. It conveys value in almost an infinite number of ways.
Being Unpredictable
-If you are talking about shower curtains and pirates, does she know where you are going to lead the conversation next? Who is reacting to who?
The one reacting the most is the lower value person, and by you vomiting random words, you get her to react.
Being Unique
-Talking in this way sets you apart from every other guy in the club. You aren’t asking to buy her a drink, or how often she comes to the bar…
Showing you are authentic
-If you are just spewing random nonsense, are you hiding behind some persona? Trying to say JUST THE RIGHT THING, to get her to like you?
It’s the opposite. You aren’t afraid to fuck up. It is authentic conversation.
Even if it is about random bullshit, that’s way more authentic than trying to impress the girl about how much money you have or what cities you have traveled to.
There you go; words don’t matter guys.
See!
I told you so.
Now that you know this, everything is taken care of right?
Ooops, now we need to talk about what to say.
But you’ll have to wait for the next article for that.
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | August 14th, 2009 at 3:47 PM
The Million Dollar Mouthpiece (Never Run Out of Things to Say and Vomit on the Girl)
So in the last article we talked about why the words don’t matter when trying to build attraction with the girl.
You know, it’s interesting because my verbal skills used to suck. I mean, they were shit.
But I got away with it.
That’s why I so deeply believe that the words don’t matter.
I had so much success with just great tonality, body language and escalating physically. To the point where I even became an RSD instructor with that dearth of verbal skills.
But I’m looking to reach the level of mastery here, which I’m sure many of you guys are too.
The situation arose where, if I approached the girl, and she was receptive, things would go great, and I could pretty much take it as far as I wanted.
But what about the girl that wasn’t initially receptive?
Do I just give up? Play the numbers game and try to find another girl that IS receptive?
That’s not what I got into this game for. I want CHOICE!
One last thing before we get into specifics.
Let’s look at the most recurring problem people encounter when having conversations with strangers.
That’s all we’re talking about here. This isn’t “How to pickup girls!!!” This is just how to develop rock solid conversational skills.
Interview Mode!!!
What is a guy REALLY thinking when he goes into interview mode?
Let’s get a little stream of consciousness writing going here with how a shy guy thinks.
*Ah, cute girl, let’s go up and talk to her. Hmmm… I don’t know what to say here, so I’ll ask where she is from.*
“Where are you from?”
*Nice, she’s talking now. Keep talking. Keep talking. I have nothing to say. I hope she keeps talking. Oh man. She’s stopping. What do I say now? Umm…*
“What do you do?”
Do you see what is going on here?
He is passing off the responsibility to the girl. Making her fully responsible for talking. Is that leading the interaction?
I think not.
Having great verbal skills allows you to FULLY lead the conversation, in the direction YOU want.
It’s similar to martial arts.
If you study a martial art like Kung Fu or Ninjuitsu, what happens once you get proficient?
Usually you get in fewer fights because you give off a certain vibe. People just know not to fuck with you.
You have self trust.
The same thing happens when you develop really good social skills.
You can just chill back, with full confidence that if you need to talk, you can.
It’s like having this verbal ninja star in your back pocket, only needed in an emergency.
You can also use these new found skills to get the girl to invest more. You become more comfortable with silence because you are in control, it’s silence with meaning as opposed to silence because you have no idea what to say.
It also allows you to free up mental RAM so you can be thinking of more advanced things like logistics, group dynamics, and actually LISTENING to what the girl is saying.
So let’s get into developing rock solid verbal skills!
It comes down to basic social skills, how do we communicate?
The girl can say anything. Any sentence. Inside that sentence there are multiple threads that you can go off of. You just need to key in to the right things.
So lets say a girl says “Oh, I visited Chicago with my parents. We went fishing and hung out at the beach.”
Chicago. Parents. Fishing. Beach.
From there you just pick one and flow off of it.
So one option is… FISHING
“Ah yeah, I used to go fishing all the time with my dad in the northwoods of Wisconsin, but have been too busy lately traveling with my job.”
And now this is giving HER material to work with.
What you need to realize is that girls aren’t these verbal ninjas who are just going to start talking your ear off.
Sure, on average, they are more social than men, but they need some CONTEXT, commonalities to converse with you.
So basically all I am doing is taking one thread from her, and telling some sort of story in my life. Anything. Doesn’t matter how trivial.
Remember, the words don’t matter!
You are just VOMITing words here.
Ah yes, there it is… Vomiting…
Remember the old skool concept of multi-threading?
Basically you want to incorporate multiple threads/topics into a conversation so you aren’t just talking about one thing. The reason for this is that if you only talk about one thing, at some point you exhaust the topic, and then the conversation ends because it was solely based on that thread.
Look again at my response.
“Ah yeah, I used to go fishing all the time with my dad in the northwoods of Wisconsin, but have been too busy lately traveling with my job.”
Look at the multiple threads we have to work with…
Fishing with my dad. How was that?
Why in the northwoods of Wisconsin? Did I grow up there?
Too busy traveling with work. Where do you work? What company?
It gives her some context to continue the conversation. And if she still needs more…
I’ll just continue VOMITing words off of all those threads until something does click.
HOW TO VOMIT!!!
What I do on boot camp is a variety of exercises to get started with this.
It’s basically taking a single thread, and turning it into a story.
One of the exercises is to just throw out a word, and the student has to do what I just did in the previous example.
So I’d say something random… How about “carpet”.
Then they respond…
“Yeah, my mom used to have this weird carpet in our living room at their place in Warsaw. I remember being like 5 or 6 and I would roll around and pretend to be a dog because it made my sister laugh.”
It gets you telling stories, gives the girl something to work with, and organically multi threads the conversation.
The coolest thing is that you can work on this skill on your own. You don’t even need to be chatting someone up.
Just look around at your environment and find a word, a raisin, and see how you can flow off of it.
Ice cubes. Strawberries. Shiny chest. Three legged llamas. There is always a story and conversational thread to be had.
So find some random topics, and start VOMITING!
(update: Another good verbal game article is The Spectrum of Authenticity)
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | September 7th, 2009 at 7:48 PM
I can see the future… Where is your life headed, and what does it all mean? And how the fuck does this relate to dating advice
“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” Henry David Thoreau
Just got back from a bike ride. It feels good getting out there, riding through the woods. Getting reconnected, regrounded.
I’ve been living in cities pretty much continuously for the last year and a half… Vegas, London, Amsterdam, Paris, Berlin, Dublin, LA, NYC…
Tough life, right? Haha
I’ve had a strong inclination lately to get away. Live in the woods. Without people.
Get introspective.
Develop my identity.
-If you could call it that. Really it isn’t about building anything. It’s about finding what’s REAL!
I’ve been diving DEEP into the self actualization part of this whole self development gig, and brought light on a bunch of sweet concepts that have been absolutely mindblowing to my reality.
Don’t worry.
There have been substantial repercussions with how these new perspectives have turbocharged my ability to meet, attract and CLOSE the women I see around me.
Let me explain how these things work.
It’s supposedly a main pillar of Real Social Dynamics, yet rarely directly discussed.
Self Actualization.
The pinnacle of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
And it is funny because, after you figure out this whole success with women thing… The women truly ARE an afterthought.
Now picture this scenario…
I’ve been traveling the world, in a new city every 3-4 days, selling everything and leaving my family and friends, constantly evolving new material for my bootcamps, pushing myself as hard as possible to get new references points so I can develop even more theories, pushing my program until I get the best evaluation scores out of any instructor…
And more…
I decide, like every other night, to go check out the clubs in whatever random city I am in on whatever random night it is, and go chat up some random girl.
Her response…
“You suck. “
Hmmm… Let’s see where this girl’s opinion of ME fits contextually into my current life situation.
Career, changing lives, traveling the world… Hmm…
Cute 19 year old girl has ABSOLUTELY NO EMOTIONAL AFFECT ON ME WHATSOEVER!
So, when you have no emotional reaction, what do you think that does to the girl?
It gets her chasing you. And WET.
Yeah, it’s been a pretty sick lifestyle for the last year or two.
I have basically been living in Europe for the past 8 months, and it’s been pretty extraordinary. Encompassing every aspect of my life.
I’ve taught over 100 clients in over 30 countries, met countless new friends and plenty of girls to boot.
I went out AT LEAST 6 days a week when I was over there. No fucking joke.
At least 6 days a week.
The amount of random knowledge and broadened world perspective changing experiences I have gained over the last few months has been nothing short of ridiculous, and the new dating advice and techniques I have been developing have been on the same level of magnitude.
Just check out the last few articles to get a glimpse of what is to come.
So the Euro tour has concluded and I am as strong as ever.
Now I am getting back into the US and setting up a home base in the Chicago area.
Getting ready to tear up that city and make the girls run screaming as I descend with truckloads of clients to the best venues the Midwest has to offer.
Let’s get creepy!!! Caveman Deluxe.
I’ve come up with a new gameplan for how I plan on structuring my blog from here on out. I did a little research into which instructor articles seem to have the most views, and realized something…
I forget sometimes, but the large majority of the guys visiting this site are mostly at the beginning stages of this endeavor, the goal of getting successful with women that is.
I enjoy a lot of the foundational theories because it directly relates to how you build the level of mastery and consistency in the later stages of development as well.
But…
I know some of you guys are hungry for some hot new sizzling advanced theory. Pushing the extremes, and finding the fast track to consistency and strivingyou’re your ultimate potential.
Don’t worry.
I plan to alternate pretty regularly between beginner and advanced articles. I’m sure only a half dozen or so guys will get any value out of the advanced stuff, but I think it’s fun and cutting edge type shit that isn’t out there for those guys.
Mostly because there aren’t any people reaching the levels I plan on talking about.
Not even most “gurus”.
That might sound egotistical. And in the strict sense of the word, it is. Haha.
Then there is the whole self actualization side, which I’ve been hinting upon.
I’ve been voraciously digesting all sorts of esoteric material, from Eastern to Western philosophy, religion to economics, world history to pop culture.
I’ve got some pretty unorthodox plans in the works.
Things like spending a month in the wilderness to reconnect with my “inner warrior.” 21st century Waldenesque.
Sounds pretty fucked up, doesn’t it. Oh well. It isn’t for you anyways. It’s purely for my own selfish reasons. Haha.
I’ve been rereading too much Rand lately.
Also, get ready for the GOD DAMN RSD World Summit!!!!!!!!!
Holy shit, that’s going to be sick. I got some great content for that, and I am excited to see a bunch of you guys again.
I’ve met a lot of key players in the RSD community, and it seems like all of them are going to be at this event.
The random female tourists heading to Las Vegas that weekend aren’t going to know what hit them. It’s going to be absurd.
By the way…
The in field footage I have seen from the other instructors has been SO SICK!
But you got to be at the event to get the full video glory that is RSD.
I’ll see you there.
But if not, it seems you’ll still have the opportunity to keep reading my blog. Thanks for sticking in there.
And get ready for the journey into my inner mind, and outer lifestyle.
I am living the life, and you can join in for the ride.
It’s been a helluva ride so far!
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | September 18th, 2009 at 2:58 PM
Where to start? How about at the beginning. How to approach and open ANY girl.
The first approach. Oh man, I remember my first approach vividly.
“Hey, did you guys see those girls fighting outside?”
Haha, and my journey began.
That interaction actually went pretty well. The girls were into me, but I was so fucking nervous, it felt like lightning was coursing through my veins.
Left the interaction after a few minutes and went back to my friends feeling pretty awesome.
That first approach took months of “preparation.”
I thought I needed the perfect gameplan.
The most elegant.
The “never be rejected” approach.
But that isn’t how things work.
One of the first things that guys need to realize is that you need to stop putting so many expectations on that first approach.
Whether it be your first approach EVER, or just the first approach of the night.
The easiest way to get consistent success EVERY time you go out is…
THE WARM UP SET.
Just dive in.
It’s so easy. All you need to do is GET STARTED.
It doesn’t matter how cute the girl is, who she is there with, what you say to get the conversation started.
And most importantly…
The outcome.
The way I start out a boot camp is to just get guys approaching people. The only criteria for success is that they approach.
It doesn’t matter if it goes well, if you get slapped, if you end up taking a girl home, the approach is all that matters.
And once that first interaction is out of the way… Man things get SOOO much easier.
Why not start when you are waiting in line?
Talk to the bouncer, to a bartender, the couple in the corner, or some cool looking player dude…
You are just getting your mouth moving, getting those social juices flowing.
Tim talks about this in the Flawless Natural. I heard it from Ozzie when he talked during the same Superconference. Then I heard Tyler say the same thing when I was out in Los Angeles.
But I still didn’t implement the WARM UP set.
Man, how that little piece gets your night FLYING!
Next thing. Escalating your opener.
I like to slowly escalate my opener as the night goes on, especially if I am feeling a little out of it at the beginning of the night.
So maybe the first set, I’ll just go up and ask something chode…
“Hey, do you know what time this place gets busy?”
Remember, we are just warming up, building momentum for later in the night.
Then as the night progress, I’ll move on to:
“Ay, my name is Brad. And you are?”
Then when it’s Intent timez, and girls are getting super receptive, it’s:
“Ay, you’re cute!”
I don’t always feel comfortable starting the night off going uber direct, and it’s nice to build some momentum first, coinciding with girls being more receptive to the approach later in the night.
Right as she is in state, so am I.
The next thing I’d like to talk about is the type of openers I use most frequently.
I think ANY guy, either someone who has studied this stuff or not, feels like the situational opener is the easiest and most logical way to start talking to a girl.
It just makes sense.
She’s wearing a weird hat, and you say:
“What’s up with that hat?!”
-and the conversation is started.
But what about those times when you don’t have anything witty to say right off the bat?
Well I prefer a new type of opener which I call FORCED SITUATIONAL OPENERS.
I use these ALL THE TIME.
The reason they work is because you can use them in ANY interaction.
They sound like a logical reason for starting a conversation, and you feel more comfortable because as a man, for whatever reason guys feel more comfortable when it “makes sense” that they would go talk to the girl.
Obviously, the reason should be just because you think she is hot, and that is a great way to open the girl, but not always the right move based on the social dynamics of the situation, and sometimes guys have problems with this.
Anyways, again these work great because they can apply to any situation.
Here’s a list of my favorites:
You look bored.
You look lonely.
You look sad.
You look fun.
So easy. Yet so powerful.
The bored one is my favorite at the moment because I love just going up to the craziest ADD dancing girls. They are usually running around, freaking out, and I’ll go up…
“Ay! You guys look bored!”
-Remember ALWAYS breaking rapport tonality on the opener…
And it opens every time.
Again, it doesn’t even have to make SENSE. It’s just a way to get it to open.
The thing to realize with the opener, is that IT DOESN’T MATTER AT ALL.
The whole basis behind finding an opener that works for you is purely to find something that you are confident in.
And like I said, most guys are usually confident when it comes to a logical reason for talking to the girl.
So why not force something that fits every scenario?
There ya go…
It also has the benefit of being short.
No long scripts to rehearse, no long lines to fuck up.
So to sum up, let’s see why guys get approach anxiety and how we just found some easy ways to fix it.
One of the biggest reasons guys get nervous is because they get to the club and feel like when they see that first girl they need to take things all the way! Push it fully!
No!
It builds up too much anxiety, dependence on the outcome. So just use the criteria that you are just going to approach her, and that is enough. Nothing else.
That is the big first step. Then when you know that you have something situational that you can open her with, it helps out even more to boost your confidence. And when you know you can’t forget the opener, it pushes your confidence even higher.
Try it out. And again, ultimately you want to get to the point where you can use anything to open, but especially at the start of the night, or at the start of your development, these concepts can help out a great deal.
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | December 11th, 2009 at 8:03 PM
I recently ran my first ALL DAY GAME bootcamp and the experience brought to light a bunch of new insights.
When it comes to the nightclub, I am getting damn near close to that delusional total confidence. I’ve been basically in a nightclub 6 days a week for the past year. And at least 5 days a week for the last 2 and a half years. I probably have more time in the bar scene over the past few year than anyone I know.
That being said, it leaves me little opportunity to run around during the day and meet women. I’m usually in a nocturnal lifestyle, sleeping the day away, and when I am running errands during the day, I often rationalize that I’ll just be out again tonight and can meet women in that environment.
Often times I feel like during the day I am more relying on my night time reference points during the day than actual day time reference points.
Well three days running around a mall in San Diego changed my perspective, along with countless other days out since then.
The big thing to realize, is that there isn’t much of a difference.
Ask Jeffy the difference between day game and night game, and he’ll answer…
“The sun’s out!”
And for the most part that is true.
Here are a few insights will help you when meeting someone outside of the night club environment.
First off, if you are used to approaching at night, there is more social pressure during the day because you don’t have the anonymity of a big nightclub, and loud music. If you approach a girl on the bus or metro, everyone in the vicinity is going to know what’s being said, unlike in a club where no one is really paying attention, or able to hear what is going on.
This can screw with your head, but once you get over this initial hurdle, you will realize that it is actually EASIER to talk to a girl during the day.
This is because there is no external stimulus that you need to fight against. At night, especially on bootcamp, I structure the program so the client builds momentum throughout the night. The first few sets are warmup approaches, getting prepared for later on when girls are more receptive.
This isn’t even necessary during the day, and you aren’t likely to be able to build momentum unless you are in some packed mall and on a “sarge-a-thon.”
It isn’t necessary because, again, you have nothing to fight against. NO loud music, no alpha dudes bumping into you, or friends puling the girl away… The environment is more laid back and you don’t need high octane material to keep the girl’s attention.
You can seriously just chat her up with basic conversation. Interview style. That is enough.
Obviously if something better comes up, a funny story, something situational, whatever, run with it, but it isn’t as big of a deal.
Another reason why the conversation doesn’t need to be SUPER AWESOME! Is that so few guys have the balls to approach during the day. It sets you apart right off the bat.
It also brings into play the old adage of girls getting their hair done and doing their makeup to go to the grocery store and meet their perfect man.
It’s their fairy tale pickup. When their parents ask how you two met, they want to tell them, “It just happened, I was waiting for my train, and he just appeared and we hit it off!”
Not, “Yeah, we met at some nightclub, I was bombed, and he fucked me in the ass the first night.”
Not that the latter scenario can’t lead to a great relationship also, but that is neither here nor there.
I remember my girlfriend telling me about how her friend was going on a date with some guy and her reasoning for why she agreed to the date was, “I don’t really know anything about him, but he came up to me in Walmart, so he must have something going on for him!”
That was enough of a reason for her to meet up with him again.
It is also easier to chat up a girl during the day because she just isn’t that used to being approached during the day. You are less likely to trigger those auto-pilot screening mechanisms that you will encounter in a bar/club.
So.
How to approach.
As others have said before, direct is the best method.
Too many times, I’ve started off asking a question, or introducing myself and the girl is like “No thanks.”
She thinks I am trying to sell her something, and doesn’t allow the opportunity for the conversation to move past that.
But if you open with “Hi, you’re cute. I wanted to say hi/I had to meet you. What’s your name?”
She is going to know what the deal is, that you want to talk to her for very specific reasons.
-Some things that guys run into on the opener.
Especially if you are used to gaming in a club/bar, an issue that guys often have is that the girl freaks out when they go to open her during the day.
What you need to realize is that, a lot of the time you aren’t doing anything wrong if the conversation starts out a little awkward, or if you scare the girl a bit… It is just a BY-PRODUCT of the situation.
She isn’t expecting some really cool guy to come up and talk to her, so she will usually be caught off guard. Just take the opportunity to start vomiting a few lines until she catches her bearings and realizes what is going on.
Another important issue is that there are real time constraints during the day. You want to figure these things out early in the interaction.
Too many times a guy will be thinking, “It seems like she is trying to walk away, she doesn’t want to talk to me.” When in actuality she is just on her way back to work from her lunch break, or has something serious to accomplish.
Just ask her early on what she is doing, you can then just get the number as opposed to running a long conversation if she needs to run off.
But if she does have nothing going on, by all means, try to push it.
I’ve heard advice like have a tight little 5 minute spiel where you can get the number, project yourself as a cool guy, and then go for the meetup over the phone.
I know guys that have a lot of success with this, and I think it is great.
But some part of me, the part that is a FUCKING PIMP, doesn’t feel comfortable falling back on the crutch of only having 5 minutes of impressive conversation.
I don’t have anything to prove to this girl, and feel damn fine talking with her, through out the day, whatever that leads to, all the way into the bedroom.
You should work towards being comfortable talking to a girl at any time, for any length.
I always joke around about the guy who meets the girl in the coffee shop and then after 10 minutes is like “Wow, this is really great. Let me get your number some time and we can.. get… a… coff… ee…”
Ooops… You are already together, already basically on a date, so keep it going.
Lastly, advice about getting physical during the day.
The only real advice you need is USE COMMON SENSE. There are plenty of times where it is completely natural to get physical with the girl, whether a playful hug, hip check, hand-hold… Whatever.
Just realize that these things usually happen A LOT SLOWER THAN AT NIGHT. Like you probably aren’t going to hold her hand for half an hour, whereas in the night club, you might already be in bed with her by then.
So pay attention to the rhythm of the conversation, the girls receptivity, and go from a case by case basis. Not what some guru says.
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | December 18th, 2009 at 10:11 PM
"You’re gay!” Congruence Tests and How to Pass Them
The one and only Alexander~ coined the phrase “80% of natural game is congruence tests.” And though I am not sure if you could ever come up with an exact percentage, they are a very important part of how we at RSD approach meeting women.
First off what is a congruence test, or shit test for short?
It is when a girl meets you, and wants to make sure you “ARE WHO YOU SAY YOU ARE!”
This happens when you are conveying a lot of high value qualities, but there might be an inconsistency so she wants to make certain you are that high value guy.
Realize a lot of times the girl does this subconsciously.
Remember that whoever is the one reacting MORE in the conversation is the lower value person i.e. unattractive.
So she is basically just trying to get you to react, whether through something she says orally, or some sort of physical shunning like diverting eye contact or turning away.
It gets into the David Deida concept of being on your own path as well. She needs to make certain that you are a man of action. A man on his path, and some girl isn’t going to pull you off that path.
How can she be a true woman and submit if you can’t be the leader and every little test that comes in front of you might divert you from your goal?
But the ultimate signal that a shit test conveys is that…
THE GIRL LIKES YOU!!!
It is an IOI! An indicator of interest!
If she didn’t like you, she would just walk away. If she is testing you, it means that you are doing something right, she just needs to make certain of it.
The best part about this is what happens when you PASS the shit test?
Attraction goes UP!
You ARE congruent with the guy you appear to be, so she is more drawn to you.
This is so effective that there are guys who actively FORCE congruence tests at the beginning of an interaction to pump up the girl’s attraction really quick.
I don’t do this personally, but if you are wondering how, it would be through the process of being very polarizing at the beginning of the interaction.
Maybe an explicit opener like “I think you are sexy as fuck.” Or “I want to fuck you in an alley later you little vixen.”
Again, this isn’t my style, but what it does is get an emotional response from the girl where she will usually respond with:
“What?! You can’t say that!” And the guy just responds with no reaction. Just fully unapologetic, and the girl slowly realizes that he will do whatever the fuck he wants and they slowly fall into the guys frame.
Alright, so how to pass a shit test?
Don’t react!
That is it really, if you don’t react, it means you have no emotional response to whatever she said, you don’t care, and you pass it.
Then the result… She likes you more!
I like going through a bunch of ways to pass congruence tests because certain responses are better than others, and it gives you the ability to choose what works for you in a given situation.
With the idea that not reacting is key, the two best responses are UNAPOLOGETIC and IGNORE.
UNAPOLOGETIC: This one is really easy, you just say whatever you were actually thinking. Here are some examples…
HER: Is that your pickup line?
ME: Yeah, did it work?
HER: Why are you talking to me?
ME: Because I think you are hot.
HER: What do you want?
ME: You.
I like these types of responses a lot, and it’s probably the most obvious and least “gamey” way to respond. It feeds into the unapologetic mindset, which leads to an authentic conversation.
Along with this one is just ignoring whatever she said and plowing through it.
HER: Why are you talking to me?
ME: Yeah, I can’t believe what just happened in the bathroom…
You just don’t even recognize she was trying to fuck with you and keep moving forward.
This leads to one of my favorite responses whenever I get any shit test:
HER: Nice shirt.
ME: Thanks.
HER: I’m sorry you are too short for me.
ME: Thanks.
HER: I’m sorry you are too old for me.
ME: Thanks.
Again, it’s like it didn’t even hit. It is so outside your reality that someone would even attempt to tool you, it doesn’t even register.
The next type of response is the ANSWER THE QUESTION YOU WISH SHE ASKED.
HER: Are you trying to pick me up?
ME: No, I had pizza for lunch.
HER: What do you want?
ME: No, I will not makeout with you!
Next up, ESCALATE.
I haven’t really heard of this one anywhere, but it is a really good way to keep things moving in a positive direction, continually escalating the pickup.
HER: Are you gay?
ME: If I was gay, would I do this?! (Makeout)
ME: Give me your number.
HER: Sure, I’ll give you my number, just like the 20 other numbers you got tonight.
ME: Oh, OK, well I don’t really need your number we could just go fuck in the bathroom right now.
I love these because she is trying to catch you off guard, and you completely step it up to a whole new level.
Other ways to pass a congruence test, the old school OVEREXAGGERATION.
HER: You are just trying to have sex with me.
ME: No, actually, I am celibate. I’ve been hurt too many times, and please don’t try to take advantage of me, I’m a shattered vulnerable child. And sex is gross anyways.
Watch out, because this one is really easy to push really far, and you get to the point where by trying to convey that you didn’t react, you are actually reacting by trying not to react.
Make sense?
So enjoy testing out a few of these. As I said earlier the best response is usually ignoring it, or being unapologetic, but I’ll also take any opportunity to escalate, so here’s one new way to push the interaction as well.
And ultimately realize what a shit/congruence test is…
It means SHE LIKES YOU!
Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar. - TobiasK - 2012-12-15
BY Brad- | January 4th, 2010 at 11:05 PM
Looks and Money Matter!
As a moderator on the RSDNation forum, I am constantly deleting threads with some variation of “I know looks matter!”
Now, I think it could be a worthwhile debate, but history proves the opposite. It just turns into heated nonsense, and RSD Headquarters and the moderation team have decided that it is just better to delete any of the looks discussion threads before they inevitably get out of hand.
Now, since I have my own little platform here, I’ll give you my viewpoint. And there is nothing you can do about it. Hehe.
The big problem that guys have with this whole looks/money/success concept is that they aren’t even asking a proper question.
Do looks matter?
For WHAT?!
Do looks matter for kissing a girl? For taking a shit? For making it rain?
Ask a proper question and things change a bit.
The question that I think most guys want to know is:
Do looks and/or money matter for building female ATTRACTION?
Alright, that changes things a little bit.
And on the most fundamental level, on par with the Blueprint, the answer is
NO!!!!
But looks/money convey certain qualities about a guy that are attractive to a girl. And that, from a superficial level confuses guys.
How do looks and money come into play when building female attraction?
Well first we need to rehash what causes attraction.
VALUE!!!
Again, so the more high value you are, the more attractive you will be.
And again, women value things differently than men.
Men value how a girl looks, girls value ACTION! A MAN OF ACTION! ALPHA! LEADER! CONFIDENCE! DOMINANCE! GRAWRRR!!!
The high value guy is the one taking action, he is the natural leader, not afraid to make a mistake, not giving a fuck what others think of him and getting shit done.
So lets look a little more intensely into this man of action thingy.
How do looks and money convey that you are a man of action?
As much as a girl appreciates security, and a man who can provide for her, that is not the primary reason she may respond more positively to a guy that has money.
It is the fact that he is successful, that is why she is attracted to him. This presupposes that he is a man of action, in whatever arena of his life.
If he takes action in his career, he will probably be just as successful at being a husband, a father, a friend, whatever is necessary.
This applies to the looks debate as well. It is not so much that she sees you wearing a nice shirt and is like, “Oooh, he looks hot.” She sees that you can afford nice clothes, meaning you aren’t just sitting on your ass and cleaning up garbage for a living.
With that, another reason why looks can affect the female’s perspective of you is if you are overweight. If she only has your physical appearance to determine if you are a high value leader of men/man of action, who would look more like that guy? A fat guy, or a ripped dude with the six pack abs?
Well it’s pretty obvious that in this very superficial attribute, the ripped dude is taking action in the gym, and the fat dude is not. And hey, if that is all the girl initially has to work off of, of course it is going to be easier for the ripped dude to build that attraction with her.
But guys see these sort of scenarios in the field and they use blanket statements like “Ripped dudes get all the girls! HAHA! I just know it!!”
And that just isn’t the case. I’ve literally proved it to myself by going out, not showering for 2-3 days and growing out my mustache to see if I can still have success pulling girls.
And I have.
I’ve been on program with Alex~ where he wore the same shirt 4 days in a row and was still pulling crazy ass even though he looked pretty haggard.
You can EASILY overpower these hindrances, a guy that eats cheetos all day and watches t.v. can go out and pickup the hottest girl in the club.
But this leads to the discussion that Ryan talks about in one of his articles about cognitive dissonance.
Does it really make sense to be the guy that is lazy all day and then get out to the club and be all “Yeah dude, I’m a high value man of action! If a girl enters my life, she is WINNING!”?
If you are delusional, or just hit up the clubs enough you can overpower those internal self doubts, but don’t think they go away.
It really just doesn’t make sense. The whole reason why women are drawn to confidence is because in the caveman days it was a sign that you had something going on for you, there was something tangible to back it up.
Now we have realized, through all this nerd work and going out for countless hours that you don’t need to be a CEO with all the money in the world, or the good looking dude, but why stack the cards against yourself?
Build a well rounded life, work hard, play hard, hit the gym hard… They all go hand in hand towards being congruent with the whole confidence/self-esteem gig.
And take care of yourself when you hit the club. If you see me out in a club, I’m probably going to be wearing some rock star black shirt and a chunky watch of sorts.
Do I think it directly gets me girls? No. But it does convey that I take care of myself, that I am not just some slob who throws on whatever. And it shows that I can afford a cool watch or something, which shows I probably am doing well in my career too. It’s also good for the little self-esteem boost that Tyler talks about in the Blueprint, you just feel damn good wearing some new sweet gear.
But I know that is for myself, not for the girl.