Guide to Roleplay, Dirty talking and Kinky shit!@ truestory

[TobiasK]

Guide to Roleplay, Dirty talking and Kinky shit!


What we discuss here are the basics on how to get started with dirty talk.

This post will cover:
Introduction to dirty talk
Correct frame and attitude for dirty talk
A note on safety
Setting the scene
Introduction to fantasy
‘Mild’ dirty talk suggestions
Introduction to online dirty talk

Keep in mind dirty talk has limitless possibilities. Inspiration can come from anywhere: talking to people, reading books, movies etc.

I've seen many women complaining about lack of dominance their men have in bed. Usually those types of conversations with women turn into discussion of ‘dirty talking’ and lack of it. There are many guys inquiring how to get their girlfriend to talk dirty, so I figured I'll write a guide. I've pushed sex-play to pretty high limits. Everything described in this guide, I've done myself with various girls; some more than others.

Because, some of the aspects of dirty talk can sound degrading to women, i wanted to point out that it is NOT degrading. And explain how it really works. Here you go:

Separate TWO different realities

On reality is behind the closed doors of your bedroom.
This is play fantasy land you two can live in. What happens there does not carry out in real life. It is very important to show your woman that you accept her as a person and respect her outside of this reality. A lot of things, you’re going to be doing, will demonstrate playful disrespect, even disgrace, but it ends in PRETEND WORLD. In other words, this is fantasy, and nothing you two do together leaves the fantasy world. It’s also unspoken rule to keep it a secret between parties involved (sometimes there are more than two )


Second reality is normal life. Shit that goes on day to day.
This is how you treat her on daily basis. Things you can do in the bedroom might not be socially or legally acceptable in real life. Like playful slapping is fun during kinky sex, but completely unacceptable in real life. Also, you may slip in and out of “fantasy reality” during normal daily activities, but keep it discreet from others. You two will have a subtle communication, where she will understand all the “inside” references and talks without revealing it to outside world. If she winks at you “meet me in the bathroom”, this means she wants to suck you off. But nobody needs to know that but you two.



Behind closed doors, you two are free to play as you wish. Everything you do when being intimate ***STAYS*** between you two. You don't tell your buddies about it. You don't tell friends about it. You don't write about it, and you probably should NOT blog about it either. Just a thought.


Also keep in mind

Rape is very serious criminal charge. So, play within comfortable limits; some sex play can be qualified as sexual and domestic abuse. Naturally, women will tell you when it’s too far. And you will be VERY surprised how far you can push things. In role-play and dirty talk the words "NO" and "please stop" have completely different meaning. I will explain how to keep role-play and dirty talking safe.

Communication is probably the most important aspect of dirty talking. There should be no mis-understanding. Majority of your communication will happen on subtle level, through body language and eye contact.

Pain is a very tricky thing. Often in the heat of the moment you may do things to her that would normally cause serious pain. Often, if you get carried away, you might do some minor to serious damage to her skin. (Scratching, slapping, biting, sucking, hickeys, etc) You MUST consider her reputation. If she has a professional job, giving her hickeys is not the right thing to do. Also, when slapping a girl in play, MAKE SURE you do not leave bruises. (Happened to me; had very rough sex, and the next day her friends were asking us if there was is abuse in our relationship)

Use discretion: She is a bunny outside and tiger in bed. In front of her friends and at work nobody must know about the dirty things she does to please you



ATTITUDE to adopt for dirty talk:


Focus on your basics: You must make her feel safe, she must trust you, and you must be dominant. Pretty strict set of rules, I cannot emphasis the “she must trust you” part. This will break or make your sex life.

TALK about sex. People don’t talk about it. You should make talking about sex a normal part of your life with your girlfriend or wife. I mean what else is there to talk about? :


Some important concepts:

You are doing this for her pleasure.

She must be enjoying herself, for you to enjoy yourself. Good sex happens when two people are only concerned about each other’s pleasure. You should focus on her pleasure first, because, she can cum and she can cum many times. If you are role-playing it might help her have more intense orgasm or multiple orgasms.

If she raises any concern about dominance/submission or about what you are doing don’t get into a huge discussion. Just listen to what she says, say you are glad she trusts you enough to tell you how she feels, and start slowly from the beginning.

If she is inexperienced, do not show concern. Some girls haven’t been exposed to dirty talk before. It doesn’t mean that she does not want to do it, it just means that you will have to lead more, and it will take some time for her to catch on and participate more.

Tell her all you want is her to be willing to try new things. Always compliment her, never criticize, and never let her feel any pressure to say/do anything. You are dominant in bed and lead her, if you want to fuck her doggy style, flip her that way, if you want to fuck her against a wall, push her against the wall and spread her legs.

She needs to let go to orgasm so she must leave the thinking to you, and only focus on how she is feeling.

Be open minded and she will follow your frame. Eliminate any limiting beliefs or judgmental attitude you may have towards sex. Such attitudes include negative connotation of words “slut”, “bitch”, “whore”, etc. Those are play words now. They only mean good thing. If you cannot wrap this around your head, try rethinking why you despise women so much.

Encourage and embrace your woman’s sexuality. Keep in mind that women are not that different from men, they also love sex. Don’t be threatened or intimidated by female sexuality. If you can unlock her potential to be sexual and sensual with you, she will exhaust you.

Assume that she is always wet for you, purring for you and ready to have your dick deep inside of her.

Look around yourself, and think of places you can have sexual interaction with your girl: anything from making out, to blow job, to discrete fingering, or bathroom quickie. Think of world as your sex playground. Get creative.

Sex is not routine habit. It's a spontaneous event. Don't make it a "Friday night thing" or "before falling asleep". Have sex whenever, wherever, and as often ad you want. Don't mundane it.

Try to feel turned on all the time. When you feel turned on and sexual, you, as a man, will develop hormones which will produce subtle smell. Your girl will pick up on that smell. There is a hard science behind it. When you’re turned on, you do everything with “sexy touch”.

SAFETY:


This is very important. The reason why the majority of girls do not want to indulge in kinky and rough sex is because they don't feel "safe" with the guy. TRUST IS IMPORTANT.

Try not to force things, and do not try to change your girl. If you want to do something with her, bring it up to her, but if she says “no” leave at that. Once you get her to open up and trust you, she will do that “forbidden” thing after all. I have had many girls who never would consider doing anal or ass-to-mouth. Within couple months of sex, it was one of their favourite thing to do.


Have a safety word and gesture or motion. If her mouth is gagged she may not be able to say the word, so have a gesture she can use, or she can repeatedly hum something. If her mouth is shut, periodically open it and ask her "if she likes being fucked", give her chance to say safety word if she doesn't.

Keep in mind most people err on the safe side so you will almost never have to use any of those. But it’s nice to agree on it.


Now.


"How do we get her to do all this kinky stuff with me?"

This is something you can casually bring up with her, but NOT in the same evening you want to do it. Maybe sometime when you two are talking about sex, you should say "we should try roleplaying sometime" AND LEAVE IT AT THAT!

When you're having sex or about to you can lead in with: "baby i think it's hot when you talk to me in bed" and "i want you to be my naughty little girl" if she's receptive of idea, try switching to "you're my dirty little slut. My slut and nobody else's"
This works best when you whisper it in her ear when you're being sexual.

Try to touch her more often when you two are alone or nobody can see it. Slap her ass, or spontaneously reach around her from the back, lean into her ear and whisper "i am soooo turned on by you right now, i could just rip your clothes off and fuck you right here on the floor... can you feel how hard i am?!"

Women LOVE when you compliment them. But they want to feel sexy about it. Randomly come up to her, when nobody is around, slap her ass and say "those jeans make your ass look soo hot, i want to spank it over and over again! you're so damn sexy!"


Initial reaction could be anything from "Ummm oookey.." to "oh my!"
If she's not receptive of your advances and talks, she's a prude. It will take some time to break it in. You may be diving into it too fast and it caught her off guard.

But if you express interest in dirty talking, she will do her own homework.

First you need to start slow. Get her to try something stereotypically slutty. Then comment how hot and sexy she looks. Tell her she looks like a naughty student/school girl/french maid/etc. She will probably giggle. Then call her over: "come over here... have you been naughty today?"


8 out of 10 girls will play along. "yes/no" ...."well then we have a problem here... what have you been naughty about?"


If you're reading this and wondering..."ummm this is not gonna work...not with my girl.... " Then you are not dominant in the relationship and you haven't worked on your manhood and leadership. The rest of this guide may not be as useful for you until you address those issues on self confidence.


So onto the rest of this...THE FIRST role-play experience is critical but must be easy going. If you open the pandora's box , and she gets into it, the sky is the limit.

Let's continue,

She will say something like "umm i don't know hahaha he he he" - don't buy into her 'he he's'


"I think you need to get spanking" and push her next to you on the bed but make sure she falls over your knee. Slap her ass several time and repeat something along these lines: "Bad girls get spanked. Bad girls get in trouble. Are you a bad girl?"

-“ no I am a good girl...”

(Keep in mind, you want to ask questions that do not involve her making any decisions. "Do you want to be spanked?" may be a good rhetorical questions, to follow up with "Yes you do" without giving her chance to answer. But if you just ask that and wait for her to "allow" you to do it, you will break the mood. NEVER ask her permission to do anything to her, but do indeed tell her what you're about to do. "I am going to make you be a bad girl..get on your knees!" but never "can you please get on your knees" **ALWAYS TELL DO NOT ASK*** for her to do things. Women like demanding and commanding men in bed)

"Have you been bad? Have you acted like a little slut lately??" - BELIEVE YOUR OWN FANTASY.
"nooo...."
"I don't believe you ..." then reach under her skirt up her leg "well good girls don't let men touch them like this"
At this point she should be turned on

"I don't believe you've gotten your punishment....maybe you should keep quiet" and gently put your free hand's middle finger on her lips ...she will naturally put it in her mouth and suck on it.

Women are sooo receptive of play. You will be blown away how much she will get into this.


" god you are such a naughty girl... you are probably going to get in trouble with your parents...do they know you do naughty things in school??"


-ummm hmmm


"we need to address this..." pull her panties off "this is very very inappropriate, missy"

-ohh.. what are you doing.... ahh

"I am seeing how naughty you are... .maybe.... i won't tell anyone...maybe if you could win me over" ..now push her between your legs so she's on her knees and you're sitting on the edge of the bed

Pull out the dick...."redeem your bad behaviour..you naughty girl"


Mood is set.

Important thing to keep in mind: do not interrupt the flow. If you’re talking dirty do not switch over to “normal” talk. This will break the mood. If you’re calling her naughty girl, or if you’re forcing her down, don’t pause and say “you ok?”. If she says “ouch..you’re hurting me” you’re doing something wrong... lean over and say “shhh!!!” and French kiss her... “all better”....continue making out until she’s into it.. then resume “now where were we?”


FANTASY:


If you have NOT read Nancy Friday's "My Secret Garden "; immediately purchase that book. If anything will help you understand how girls work, that book will be the one.


In essence:

The majority of girls want to be dominated. They want a man (or men) to control them in bed. It's a subprimal instinct. Don't argue with this. So knowing what you're doing is VERY important.


Society programmed girls to be good. She’s not slutty nor she’s a whore. So anything crazy you want to do, you have to initiate. Otherwise, if she was to initiate kinky sex, she’d come off as slut. Which is bad. But if you started it, then it’s “not her fault”. Most of the time they would quietly let you fuck them missionary while craving to be pounded doggy style in the ass. Why? Because, "She's not that kind of girl" but if she initiates the act she might come off as one...if of course, you're not ok with it. (fear of sexual rejection) But if you do it, "it's not her fault" and it also opens up her mind that you're OK with all those stuff.

Good analogy of women wanting rough good sex. It's like asking your parents for a large sum of money. You really don't want to do it, you try to avoid it, and you try to figure out your own way before you have to come down to that. If you do, you will never hear the end of “how immature and not independent you are”. However, if your dad calls you and says "Son, I am giving you $10,000 just because", especially, when you need it would you feel excited?!



In the everyday world, women face a lot of challenges and frustrations. However, when they get back to their boyfriends, in the evening, they want to let that frustration out. And nothing lets frustration out like a good fucking. They don't want to do any work, they just want to live in a orgasmic fantasy land for several minutes (or hours).


Women have VERY vivid imagination. Unlike men, they want to feel stimulated on many aspects: emotionally, physically, intellectually, and physiologically.


Emotionally: she wants to feel connected and close to you. Not the sappy "baby we are one" connection, but a connection where her mind feels a rush of feelings she cannot describe, usually towards you. I think Braddock wrote a good post explaining “love” and chemicals. This is it.


Physically: no brainer, but she wants to feel body touching, her nipples played with, her clit massaged, her stomach kissed, her neck bitten, her hair pulled, her ass slapped and fingered, her pussy deeply penetrated, her arms held (up and behind her head), your body on hers, etc. The more stimulation at once the more excited she will be. That’s why some women LOVE nipple clamps and other “toys”