Alexander~ Who are you

[Benson!]

Being present is intrinsically linked to the notion of radiating presence (nimbus). When you are present, you are unreactive to everything, because you are responsive. When you are present, you are the cause, and others around you become the effect. You are unstifled because you impose no limits on yourself. When people say that you have presence, it is because people around you are reacting to you. In traditional non-game speak, guys with presence are thought of as being attractive.
Lastly, being present is being plugged into the world. When you are not present, inside your head or harbouring an ego, you impose a barrier between you and the world. You feel disconnected to the world in the same way that the world will be disconnected to you. When you are present, in the moment, everything flows smoothly, and you connect with the world and can connect emotionally to the girls you interact with.


When you are present, you walk through the world with ease; nothing enters your headspace to hold you back, you feel confident and are unburdened. When you are present you feel great and empowered.
Whatever you feel, she feels.
There is more on presence that I could talk about, but for a fuller understanding read Eckhart Tolle. The few other things that relate to presence will be covered in the self esteem section below, as presence and self esteem are intertwined and linked.

Positive-Dominance (Think of Tim’s ‘woo + intent’)
This behavioural trait has a lot to do with the golden rule of natural game: ‘whatever you feel, she feels’.
Positive-dominant communication styles are actually a result of being fully present. You will find yourself communicating positively-dominantly in situations where you are comfortable with friends and family. This is generally characterised as having a breaking rapport tonality and being in a good state.
To learn to implement positive dominance, do this exercise (Tyler has published versions of this before):
Say, “Oi!”
Did it come out as negative and dominant?
Now, clap your hands fast 5 or 6 times to get pumped up, into state and present, before, once again, saying “Oi!”
Now that you’re in the moment, coming from a place of energy and using your natural tonality (which is default breaking rapport if you’re a man), you have just exhibited positive-dominant behaviour.
The thing is, though, that when you are talking to a girl, you will be inclined to put on a special personality to game her. However, if you stay true to your own rhythm, come from a place of energy and draw state from within, you will already be communicating in just the way you need to be in order to be congruent with who you are.
If you see any one of the RSD instructors giving a presentation, they will unconsciously speak with positive-dominance. Youtube RSD guys now to sample it firsthand, or Listen to Tim in this clip.

He speaks with enthusiasm and with a breaking rapport tonality. But, it’s not an effort for him, it’s natural. He is unstifled and, as a result, in alignment with the man he was born to be.
You can also think of positive dominance as “assertiveness with a smile”.
But, it’s not just communication styles, but positive-dominant actions that are attractive as well. As a man, you need to take responsibility for your reality, or someone else will take responsibility for you. Most guys are socially conditioned, and are the opposite of positive-dominant. These guys are passive-pessimistic, and is is your average everyday guy in the club.
Examine the graph below.

These guys are only repressed because of social conditioning. The unstifled you will be operating naturally, and you will freely express yourself positive-dominantly.
All the examples of guys communicating and interacting with women naturally have this commonality. Positive dominance is what all the instructors have in common even though they are vastly different people.
Positive-dominant behaviour, as an expression of the natural self, elicits a very strong response in women in the same way that a woman in her natural state would elicit a very strong response in you as a man.
Tim talks about the four types of guys in the world. It is only the positive-dominant (woo plus intent) guy that is sexworthy. All other types of guys are pretending to be chode and are acting in a stifled and unnatural way. No natural behaviour equates to no natural attraction.
Further evidence for your natural congruence with positive-dominance can be found in examples where you are in a position of positivity and/or dominance.
When you are managing, leading, starting a party, asserting yourself, trusting yourself, when you are light-hearted or when you are challenging yourself, you are displaying positive dominance. When you are in these positions you feel good. It is a fact that, in your natural or default state, you feel good.
When you feel good, the girl feels good.
Interaction dynamics fall into place when you are congruent with yourself fully as a man.
When guys are in state, their behaviour instinctively stems from the right place, and is positive dominant. When guys are out of state, they intentionally do positive-dominant things, to generate their own state, and get into the moment.
There is a lot more to say about positive-dominance (or woo and intent), but it has been said in other blogs, and on Tim’s Flawless Natural product. If there was a magic pill of natural game, this would be it. This is the default mode of behaviour for any natural. To be out of congruence with positive dominance would be unnatural and unattractive.
You simply won’t feel right if you’re not behaving in congruence with your natural tendencies of positive dominance.
If you don’t feel right, the girl won’t feel right.
Once catch to the positive dominant trait is that you have to generate it from within; this takes responsibility. But, once implemented, it’s easy to maintain, as you find a rhythm that you will find others reacting to. It’s the active responsibility of implementation that will set you apart from all the other beta males and gamer chodes, rendering you an alpha male and naturally attractive.
Escalation and Being a Man Of Action.
This behavioural trait is harder to give an accurate name to. When I refer to escalation, I mean that you are a man who communicates himself physically, following your path in life, and you moving with interactions with women.
A rule of thumb is ‘the difference between friendly and flirty is physicality’.
The escalation trait is epitomised by the well known notion of the ‘window of opportunity.’ If you are incongruent with your natural tendencies to escalate as a man, an interaction will quickly go backwards.
On the other hand, if you escalate early, even miscalibrated, it will demonstrate congruence with your natural self. Unless you suffer from a total lack of empathy, physical escalation is a very quick and obvious demonstration of natural game and of being unstifled. Counter intuitively, it is attractive to escalate sooner, rather than later.
As a man it is your responsibility to move things forward. For a girl, to do such things would be slutty, and she would risk rejection. Plus, if you are not the one to lead things forward, it would not give her the chance to give you tests that you can pass and demonstrate the necessary value and congruence that would render you an attractive option to her.
With each positive-dominant behaviour that you exert, that is in alignment with your escalation trait, and with each congruence test that you pass, her level of attraction to you progressively rises like a volume dial. By that same token when you act out of congruence, the dial can go down, or if you fail to escalate things forward, the attraction dial can also reverse downwards.
Away from interactions, it is you moving forward in life as a man that makes you not only attractive to women, but fulfils your own life experience. Men are naturally inspired to explore, take adventures, take risks, progress, expand and build. This is verification of natural alignment, because you feel good when you are doing these things.
When you feel good the girl feels good.
Contrastingly, it can be acutely painful or disheartening to regress, go backwards or find yourself stuck in a position that you cannot move forward from.
Most simply, if you take action you will be attractive. Essentially, if you have more conviction in your actions then the other men around, you will achieve more, and come more into congruence with yourself as a man.
Other facets of escalation are what Tim calls intent, decisiveness and risk taking. The more action you take, the more you grow through experience, ultimately resulting in you becoming internally centered, indifferent and intrinsically higher value.
In a lot of cases, if someone takes action or assumes a leadership role, people will automatically follow, because most socially conditioned people will be used to others taking responsibility for them. If you have ever taken a girl on a date and asked her, ‘what do you want to do,’ the generic answer will almost always be ‘I dunno.’ It’s your job as a man to decide and make things happen; if you don’t, nothing will happen.
A lot of people who study pick up know what to do to get girls. A lot of people who don’t study pick up also could figure out what it might take to get girls. But, at the end of the day, it comes down to their ability to take action and escalate the situation. If the way a women looks is what makes us attracted to her, it the fact that you ACTUALLY TAKE ACTION as a man that will make her attracted to you.
You inspire attractiveness as a man by the actions you take; the more actions you take that are in alignment with your natural self, the more the attraction dial is jacked to and past the critical points.
(NOTE: if you take action that is just plain weird and unnatural, because you are not positive-dominant or not present, you will decrease the attraction dial)
In some extreme cases, guys will get laid even if they have no game and are jerks, arrogant or assholes, simply because they move things forward. Most community guys forget that girls want to be laid by a cool guy. Don’t overcomplicate the process; you need to take every responsibility for her getting laid.

Being fully in alignment naturally with ‘what you are’.
To be 100% present, 100% positive-dominant and 100% a man of action/escalation is to achieve ELITE CONGRUENCE, and this is what makes the guys who are the best with women the best. In basic terms they have manned up in all their glory.


Tim talks about obeying the core. The core is presence, positive-dominance and escalation combined. To disobey the core would be to act against the instincts of the core, and the above listed traits, and would obviously be detrimental to your natural game.
More importantly, though, is that coming into alignment with yourself as a man isn’t a progressive or cumulative process. Actually, it’s a deductive process that requires that you let go of external forces
It requires you to MAN DOWN.

Connotatively, the words MAN DOWN might seem negative, but that’s the idea. Instead of searching externally for something to confirm your-self image as a man, instead look internally at what you are and come into alignment with it.
When you do let go, when you do MAN DOWN, you will find strength, confidence, integrity, self assurance, self esteem, coolness, positivity, dominance, a carefree headspace, and you will feel really fucking good.
When you feel really fucking good the girls will feel really fucking good.
You stop pretending to be a chode by acting out of congruence with what you are, and become egoless. You feel good knowing that all you are is a man.
You cannot escape what you are; the only option is to come into congruence with it.
This is a simple, but very powerful idea.
The fact of the matter is, you are almost genetically identical to every other man in the world. Come into alignment with yourself as a man, in terms of the above behaviour, and everything you do will be COMING FROM THE RIGHT PLACE. When you come from the right place, as if by magic, everything you do will work very well.
So what happens when you are out of congruence with what you naturally are? When you are not your natural self?
You have a chode ego, which suppress your natural and default state of self esteem.
When Chode Ego Suppresses Self Esteem.
To be fully natural, unstifled and not socially conditioned, is to have self esteem, and be in your default state.
With self esteem comes attractiveness.
As you are socially conditioned, you begin to identify yourself in terms of ego and, erroneously derive a sense of self from external sources. Of course, if you define yourself in terms of external factors, your sense of self will disappear if you lose sight of them.
Also, when you identify yourself in terms of external factors, you will always be seeking external validation, and defend against making bad impressions. Overall, you are going to be sucking value from those around you, and butting heads with those who don’t buy into your sense of self. You will distance yourself from people who don’t see you the way you want them to see you, because it will shake your reality and weaken your sense of self.
Imagine, conceptually, that all you have is a physically entity, depicted here simply as a circle.

When you are born this is uncompromised and you have self esteem. There is no reason for self esteem, you are simply born with it, and you come into the world feeling good.
But over time, as you enter into childhood, and early adolescence, you are continually ‘slapped on the hand,’ and disciplined to think and operate in certain ways. You are stifled by the world around you, and taught to think and behave in ways that are conducive to living soundly in society and supporting the economy.
This is unnatural and abstractly defined. During this process, your perception of the physical entity that is your natural self is compromised. When the natural self is compromised, so is your self esteem, and so is your daily state.
If the way you feel about yourself is diminished, the way the girl feels about you will also be diminished.
This is depicted here, where you can see the external forces imposing on you and pushing your self esteem inwards.

While this happens, you begin to look to identify yourself with something to compensate for a lack of natural self. It could be that you identify with being a ‘goth,’ a ‘PUA’, a dentist, a basketball player or even a hippy.
Who and what you are is continually defined, by what you are trying to project, and by what people are projecting onto you. One the one hand, you go out of your way to seek validation in conversations when you meet new people, and simultaneously, stop taking risks because you don’t want to be de-validated.
The ego is depicted here as the outer circle between you and the world. As you can see, you are always pinging with your ego and trying to hold it in place. It is a negative process that puts you in your head.
There are numerous, massive problems with ego in pickup. Firstly, as you can see in the graph, you go through the world stifled and instantly communicate to others that you live in reaction to the world around you. This is reactive, lower value and unattractive.
Secondly, if for whatever reason your ego and falsely projected sense of self is questioned, or proved to be less that you are trying to project, your entire sense of self comes crashing down and you feel terrible, even suicidal.
Once again, this is an abstract concept, but let me use some famous people as an example. Think about it in terms of the ego graphic.

Take Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton and Amy Winehouse all as examples of people whose ego based sense of self lead to their downfall.
These examples, with the exception of Paris Hilton, are all people whose profession is entertainer. While they were born and Christened with their names those same names became their brand, like Nike or Apple. They identify, egotistically and erroneously, with their brand because it is one and the same name.
Their brand is their sense of self.
Of course, when they are getting positive external feedback from the world, it massively pumps their ego… they feel great because the world tells them they can feel great. In the cases of these international entertainers, I would imagine the high and fan fare would be like taking drugs of un-comprehendible pleasure. All of a sudden, who they are is the best thing in the world.
But, when that feedback becomes negative, it will constitute their sense of self as well. Who they are becomes a product of what is projected onto them by their critics and the paparazzi. It is publicly documented that the lows that entertainers go through are devastating and push these people to the brink of suicide. Oftentimes, the stars turn to drugs to escape the brutal scrutiny of the media and quickly spiral downwards.
For people who erroneously identify with their ego, who they are is only as good as the feedback they get. Their state, and the way they feel, is a product of what people project onto them. They are always fighting an uphill battle to keep everyone happy.

This could be avoided by not identifying with their name, as a brand, and instead simply identifying with what they are as human beings. In the case of you, the blog reader, that means simple identifying with what you are as a man.
There are a lot of other entertainers in the same position of scrutiny and public profile that do not identify with their feedback, but instead identify with what they are. Their entertaining is for themselves, not for the crowds; expression not impression.
They don’t take the positive feedback or the negative feedback too seriously. Like a guy who knows who he is, he doesn’t value the opinions of others over his opinion of himself. When you talk to a really cool guy and give him props, he won’t be overly enthused by it, because your opinion of him will never hold more weight than his opinion of him; my mentor, Tyler, is a great example of this. Examples of performers in the entertainment world are Robbie Williams and Bono from U2.


In the case of you, the aspiring pick up artist, identifying with feedback is a massive trap that can lead to your downfall, pain, inconsistency and sometimes quitting the game.
When you set out to become a ‘guy who is good with girls,’ you think you are out to learn to become something that you currently are not. To think that you need to learn to be naturally attractive is to deny that you were attractive in the first place. As I said above, learning natural game is a deductive process of surrendering and letting go.