Alexander~ Who are you

[Benson!]

As you start in the game, and begin to get results, you change up the chode ego with the ‘I’m good with girls’ ego; you erroneously derive your sense of self from different forms of feedback you get instead of deriving your sense of self from what you actually are. You go to the clubs and don’t push the interactions forward because you are fatally afraid of de-validation, and when you talk to girls you aren’t out to have fun, you are playing to not lose.
A lot of guys in the game have this experience after some initial good results and experiences. What makes matters worse is once you think you have externally achieved a sense of self, or ego of ‘I’m good with girls,’ when you do actually approach girls all you do is suck value out of them in a quest to confirm that you’re STILL good with girls.
The most dangerous and hazardous downfall of having an ego in the game is your fluctuating state and lack of consistency.
The golden rule of natural game is ‘whatever you feel, she feels’. If you feel bad because you are having a bad night and your sense of self isn’t being validated, you feel absolutely terrible. If you don’t do as well that night as you have done in the past, you hate yourself. The result is girls won’t even talk to you, and consistently blow you out instantly. There is incongruence with how you act, and what you are, and you will find yourself approaching with a weird pick up persona, as opposed to being your natural self.


Like it’s shown in the graphic, conceptually you are only a physical, natural entity. When you identify with anything other than your natural self, it stands in the place of what you naturally are. Your self esteem is suppressed and you probably turn to booze or drugs to escape the feeling of failure and frustration.

If you let yourself identify with external factors, it’s like a fungus that suppresses your natural self or your core. Every behaviour that you implement comes through an ego filter that is tainted of its natural origins, making it unattractive.
When you are socially conditioned and have an externally defined ego, you are part of an intricate social web that keeps you in place with others like you.

If you don’t know who you are, someone else will define it for you, or at least in conjunction with your desired projection of yourself. If you have a weak idea of who you are, you will be easily swayed by someone with a strong reality projecting an identity onto you. With external projection will come a compromise of state and self esteem.
Even if you have a fairly strong sense of self, you are still at the mercy of others projecting onto you. The goal is to have an internally defined sense of self. Only then will you achieve the precious game traits of unreactiveness, centeredness, self esteem, state and very importantly, you will never have negative state.
If you define yourself in terms of ‘what you naturally are,’ as found in the examples of unstifled guys, and in terms of the behavioural traits that the example guys commonly possess (presence, positive dominance, and being a man of action/escalation), you will be perpetually attractive and always in a good state.
You will conquer natural game.

Several things will happen, all of which would be in stark contrast to old socially conditioned chode ego.
You make the transformation from beta male to alpha male
Instead of having the world take responsibility for who and what you are, you do it and you can then empower yourself to become anything you want to be.
Because you are now internally centered, you have the inner strength and self assurance to turn what you perceive into what you project. You can change others perceptions of themselves and their realities, because your self assurance is greater than theirs and they will trust you, because you trust yourself more than they trust themselves.
In your world, you now become the cause and not the effect, you feel in control and you take the reins of your destiny. Self imposed bullshit that used to hold you back no longer exists, because you have come to the realisation that it was all externally imposed and socially conditioned, which your former, weak reality was using to try to make sense of the world.
You achieve integrity because your actions completely line up with who you are. Your actions are all in congruence with the man you were born to be. You are not questioned about the things you do because you have nothing to hide. You don’t give a fuck and you are unapologetic because you have good intentions and intrinsically offer value to the word.
You realise that you are the only common denominator in the world, and that as much as you might try, there is nothing you can do to consistently elicit a predictable response by manipulating the people around you. When you let go of trying to control reactions, you walk through the world with ease; you feel good, you can freely act through your own intentions and people will follow you and look to you for leadership.
You can achieve instant strong rapport with anyone because you are real, whereas so many other people are fake. People indentify with you instantly, because they see themselves in you, and can relate to you simply because you are both people. When you have integrity you don’t need to implement ‘rapport phases,’ as the girl will feel like, and sometimes say to you, that she feels like she has known you for a long time even though you have just met.
When you let go of external constraints and ego based limitations, you feel kind of giddy because you begin to realise your potential. Once you take responsibility for your reality you realise you have great power. Some people have difficulty dealing with such power and squander it away.
Success barriers are a whole other post, but all you have to remember is that your sense of entitlement is proportionate to your taking responsibility.
Let me say that again:
YOUR SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT IS PROPORTINATE TO YOUR TAKING RESPONSIBILITY.
In the same way that if you earn five million dollars you feel entitled to it, value it and keep it. If you didn’t earn it you will feel like you cheated and will ultimately squander or sabotage it. In terms of women, if you manipulate a girl into bed who you think is out of your league, you are likely to sabotage the relationship or even yourself; you don’t feel like you deserve her.
However, if you take responsibility for your reality and internally centre yourself, there is no reason why you don’t deserve the best. In your mind, you realise that the girl will be best with you because you know who you are and can offer more value than any other guy can. You take responsibility and realize that you are doing the right thing for the both of you.
When you take responsibility of your reality, your potential can overwhelm and scare you more than your failures will.
Basically, you become the equivalent to what a model hot girl is to a chode guy, when you come into congruence with what you are. All of a sudden, you get treated a lot better by everyone around you.
The thing is, though, that guys in congruence with what they are as men are a lot rarer than model hot girls. Guys in the world who were born alpha are usually married or have girlfriends pretty early in life, because the girls go crazy over him and pin him down quickly. If you are a student of natural game you find yourself in a reality where, to quote Jeffy, “you have the sex drive of a man, but the options of a woman.”

Even when you do make the shift, and identify simply with what you are, it requires will power and continual action to retain that internal centeredness. Continual action will prevent you from letting external influences seep back in and alter your perception of who and what you are.
Now, know this:
WHO YOU ARE, ON A PHYSICAL LEVEL, IS WHAT YOU ARE. WHAT YOU ARE IS A MAN, AND, AS A MAN, YOU ARE PRESENT, POSITIVIELY DOMINANT AND SOMEONE WHO TAKES ACTION. ANYTHING LESS IS A CHODE EGO.
Look at the two graphs below. The first shows your life cycle from birth, through social conditioning to beta chode, and then going full circle, self actualising and re-aligning with your natural self as a man. As you can see, there are four types of men in the world. Only the sex worthy guy is in alignment with his natural self as a man. You are born that way and you will re-align with your natural self when you learn to drop your ego and find your natural self as a man. It could be called manning down and letting go.

In this second graphic you can see superimposed which of these guys have ego and which have self esteem. To have self esteem is to be natural, and to have an ego is to be unnatural. Being natural is attractive; being unnatural is weird and unattractive.

Realities
A strong reality can be derived from one of two ways. One the one hand, it can be strong from continual consistent feedback from the world around you; see Tom Cruise’s character from Vanilla Sky as an example of this. On the other hand, your reality can be strong as a function of knowing what you are and living in congruence with it. The character James Bond is an example of this.
In the first case, when your reality is defined from external feedback, you will always be at the mercy of possible negative feedback should it happen. In Vanilla Sky, when Tom Cruise’s character is injured, and external feedback no longer reinforces his sense of self, he breaks down and freaks out.

But, it is important to note that in his strong reality, prior to the character’s accident, he was attractive because he had a strong sense of self, and people who had lesser realities around him would react to him. He had higher value contextually.


In the case of the James Bond character, in whatever situation he is in, he can define his reality by projecting what he perceives onto the situation. Once again, this is a strong reality, but the causality is different. When you know what you are and live in congruence with it, you have the inner strength and centeredness to define your reality around you on a moment by moment basis. When you live like this, your reality will always be strong and will remain strong, even in changing and unpredictable situations.
Self esteem, and congruence with what you are, as a man, is mandatory pre-requisite for a strong reality. A strong and adaptable reality is essential to core confidence and having people react to you in all situations. When people react to you, you are high value and they experience emotional spikes and arousal when they interact with you.
The real social dynamics instructors, who taught and mentored me, are examples of guys with core confidence and self defined and adaptable realities. Last week, I spent the week in Hawaii with Tim, Tyler, Jeffy and Saad. Watching these guys confirmed everything I am reporting here.


Women also have a very strong reality, but like Tom Cruise’s character in Vanilla Sky, it is derived contextually from external sources. This is why hot women love to go to clubs and be validated; it pumps their state.
In modern times, the higher cognitive brain can supersede emotional impulses and natural tendencies, but for the purpose of this article I will report in terms of women’s natural and emotional tendencies.
Evolutionarily (and only evolutionarily, so as not to be misogynistic, as things are different in this day and age), it was as though women’s value was derived externally as they were dependant on men. If a caveman saw a woman, he would simply fight the other cavemen for the rights to alpha status, before he took her. It didn’t matter what he looked like, all that mattered was that he was the manliest the tribe. Of course, this inspires good genetic evolution.
For cavewomen, it was as though their sense of self was a function of the way the cavemen reacted to them, whereas a caveman’s sense of self was nothing more than what he was and what he did.
For the caveman, it would have been a constant battle and constant implementation of his physical self to survive and replicate. The caveman, who took the most responsibility for his cave reality, would have been the most attractive alpha male (Reference mirror theory from The Blueprint by Tyler from RSD http://www.theblueprintdecoded.com).
Cavemen were cavewomen’s mirrors. This evolutionary pattern still resides in the human brain today, as a result of evolution, and is stifled and cognitively controlled by our higher cortex brain.

In this day and age, the natural attraction triggers are the same as those evolutionarily derived, and are a result of millions of years of natural selection.
With this in mind, men in congruence with what they are will be attractive to women.
A socially conditioned woman might be one who is busy trying to control everyone or acting bitchy. On a more physiological level, social conditioning for women can result in a severe compromise of self esteem, and sometimes women will eat to compensate for that. Women in bad physical shape are unattractive. In cave-days things like obesity would have been rare, because food was far from abundant.
Importantly, when you come into congruence with what you are, as a man, you will always have the capacity to be intrinsically higher value than women. You can know what you are on your own, whereas (evolutionarily) a women’s sense of self is partly derived by the validation of others.
Interestingly, as a side note, what you are as a man is hormonally a lot more consistent than the hormonal cycle of a woman. Your hormones dictate your natural urges and behaviours. Having a more stable hormonal profile advocates that you should be more centered and stable than a woman is by nature. This is why women are attracted to a man who knows who he is. He becomes a point of stability in her life, and intrinsically higher value in an emotional sense.