Alexander~ Who are you

[Benson!]

copy-paste det som resonerade med mig mest till ett word dokument, 1/6 av originella dokumentet, you're welcome!


By nature, as a man, you are:
1. Present
2. Positive-dominant
3. A man of action/escalation.
To live in alignment with these traits is to be your natural self, and to man up; not to live in alignment with your natural self is to suppress your natural self and have a chode ego.

When you have presence, everything you “do” just flows and works. It’s called being outside your head. When you are not present, you are inside your head and everything is forced, calculated and socially clumsy. To be present is to have self trust and act ‘smooth.’


Presence, most importantly, is about being in a headspace where you don’t second guess yourself and don’t calculate your actions. You behave without hesitation and with conviction.



When you are present, you don’t go out of your way to impress the girl, and you will simultaneously be carefree about making bad impressions on people around you. Expression is more important than impression. As soon as she realises that you don’t care if you make mistakes (in contrast to classical pick up theory) she will see that you are fully unstifled.

When present, everything is simplified.

It’s possible that you might act in unstifled ways that offend, annoy or bore others. But, people’s opinions of everything are subjective and they could interpret what you do in any way. If, for any reason, what you do comes off as socially miscalibrated, but still authentic, it will generate a congruence test. This gives you an opportunity to show the girl that you are high value because you are unapologetic (you don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks), unreactive and congruent with yourself as a man.

doing things your own way and dealing with objections to it or miscalibration, confirms the strength of your reality to the girls you are interacting with. Being imperfect and responding in real time, while present, confirms your value as a function of your internal centeredness and makes you attractive.


Confidence is default.
“CONFIDENCE HAPPENS WHEN YOU PERCIEVE THAT NOTHING HOLDS YOU BACK”
Become present, access your confidence.
Behave with no doubt: get girls.



Ask yourself: ‘what stands between me and getting what I want?’
When you pose the question like that, its only bullshit you that you impose on yourself that hold you back from achieving success.
Being present is intrinsically linked to the notion of radiating presence (nimbus). When you are present, you are unreactive to everything, because you are responsive. When you are present, you are the cause, and others around you become the effect. You are unstifled because you impose no limits on yourself. When people say that you have presence, it is because people around you are reacting to you. In traditional non-game speak, guys with presence are thought of as being attractive.
Lastly, being present is being plugged into the world. When you are not present, inside your head or harbouring an ego, you impose a barrier between you and the world. You feel disconnected to the world in the same way that the world will be disconnected to you. When you are present, in the moment, everything flows smoothly, and you connect with the world and can connect emotionally to the girls you interact with.

Positive-Dominance (Think of Tim’s ‘woo + intent’
This behavioural trait has a lot to do with the golden rule of natural game: ‘whatever you feel, she feels’.
Positive-dominant communication styles are actually a result of being fully present. You will find yourself communicating positively-dominantly in situations where you are comfortable with friends and family. This is generally characterised as having a breaking rapport tonality and being in a good state.
To learn to implement positive dominance, do this exercise (Tyler has published versions of this before):
Say, “Oi!”
Did it come out as negative and dominant?
Now, clap your hands fast 5 or 6 times to get pumped up, into state and present, before, once again, saying “Oi!”
Now that you’re in the moment, coming from a place of energy and using your natural tonality (which is default breaking rapport if you’re a man), you have just exhibited positive-dominant behaviour.
The thing is, though, that when you are talking to a girl, you will be inclined to put on a special personality to game her. However, if you stay true to your own rhythm, come from a place of energy and draw state from within, you will already be communicating in just the way you need to be in order to be congruent with who you are.



He speaks with enthusiasm and with a breaking rapport tonality. But, it’s not an effort for him, it’s natural. He is unstifled and, as a result, in alignment with the man he was born to be.
You can also think of positive dominance as “assertiveness with a smile”.

Once catch to the positive dominant trait is that you have to generate it from within; this takes responsibility. But, once implemented, it’s easy to maintain, as you find a rhythm that you will find others reacting to.

Escalation and Being a Man Of Action.
This behavioural trait is harder to give an accurate name to. When I refer to escalation, I mean that you are a man who communicates himself physically, following your path in life, and you moving with interactions with women.
A rule of thumb is ‘the difference between friendly and flirty is physicality’.
The escalation trait is epitomised by the well known notion of the ‘window of opportunity.’ If you are incongruent with your natural tendencies to escalate as a man, an interaction will quickly go backwards.
On the other hand, if you escalate early, even miscalibrated, it will demonstrate congruence with your natural self. Unless you suffer from a total lack of empathy, physical escalation is a very quick and obvious demonstration of natural game and of being unstifled. Counter intuitively, it is attractive to escalate sooner, rather than later.
Så jävla sant, igen. Ser ofta när man går för kyssen att tjejen man snackar med är mer attraherad för det ÄVEN om man fick kinden. Det är manligt att ta action helt enkelt. På alla plan i livet, och gör man det med kvinnor är det bara ett tecken på hur du lever ditt liv.

As a man it is your responsibility to move things forward. For a girl, to do such things would be slutty, and she would risk rejection. Plus, if you are not the one to lead things forward, it would not give her the chance to give you tests that you can pass and demonstrate the necessary value and congruence that would render you an attractive option to her.
With each positive-dominant behaviour that you exert, that is in alignment with your escalation trait, and with each congruence test that you pass, her level of attraction to you progressively rises like a volume dial. By that same token when you act out of congruence, the dial can go down, or if you fail to escalate things forward, the attraction dial can also reverse downwards.
Away from interactions, it is you moving forward in life as a man that makes you not only attractive to women, but fulfils your own life experience. Men are naturally inspired to explore, take adventures, take risks, progress, expand and build. This is verification of natural alignment, because you feel good when you are doing these things.
When you feel good the girl feels good.

Other facets of escalation are what Tim calls intent, decisiveness and risk taking. The more action you take, the more you grow through experience, ultimately resulting in you becoming internally centered, indifferent and intrinsically higher value.

You inspire attractiveness as a man by the actions you take; the more actions you take that are in alignment with your natural self, the more the attraction dial is jacked to and past the critical points.

In some extreme cases, guys will get laid even if they have no game and are jerks, arrogant or assholes, simply because they move things forward. Most community guys forget that girls want to be laid by a cool guy. Don’t overcomplicate the process; you need to take every responsibility for her getting laid.

Being fully in alignment naturally with ‘what you are’.
To be 100% present, 100% positive-dominant and 100% a man of action/escalation is to achieve ELITE CONGRUENCE, and this is what makes the guys who are the best with women the best. In basic terms they have manned up in all their glory.
Connotatively, the words MAN DOWN might seem negative, but that’s the idea. Instead of searching externally for something to confirm your-self image as a man, instead look internally at what you are and come into alignment with it.
When you do let go, when you do MAN DOWN, you will find strength, confidence, integrity, self assurance, self esteem, coolness, positivity, dominance, a carefree headspace, and you will feel really fucking good.

coming into alignment with yourself as a man isn’t a progressive or cumulative process. Actually, it’s a deductive process that requires that you let go of external forces
It requires you to MAN DOWN.
You cannot escape what you are; the only option is to come into congruence with it.

Less is more. Släpp, sluta, sluta stå i vägen för din inre champ.

Also, when you identify yourself in terms of external factors, you will always be seeking external validation, and defend against making bad impressions. Overall, you are going to be sucking value from those around you, and butting heads with those who don’t buy into your sense of self. You will distance yourself from people who don’t see you the way you want them to see you, because it will shake your reality and weaken your sense of self.

But over time, as you enter into childhood, and early adolescence, you are continually ‘slapped on the hand,’ and disciplined to think and operate in certain ways. You are stifled by the world around you, and taught to think and behave in ways that are conducive to living soundly in society and supporting the economy.
This is unnatural and abstractly defined

a guy who knows who he is, he doesn’t value the opinions of others over his opinion of himself. When you talk to a really cool guy and give him props, he won’t be overly enthused by it, because your opinion of him will never hold more weight than his opinion of him; my mentor, Tyler, is a great example of this. Examples of performers in the entertainment world are Robbie Williams and Bono from U2.

When you set out to become a ‘guy who is good with girls,’ you think you are out to learn to become something that you currently are not. To think that you need to learn to be naturally attractive is to deny that you were attractive in the first place. As I said above, learning natural game is a deductive process of surrendering and letting go.

What makes matters worse is once you think you have externally achieved a sense of self, or ego of ‘I’m good with girls,’ when you do actually approach girls all you do is suck value out of them in a quest to confirm that you’re STILL good with girls.

As a man it is your actions that make you attractive. When you identify with what you are, naturally as a man, everything you do is coming from the right place of congruence and masculine strength. You can literally do anything, or be anything, and still be attractive, as long as you are tapping into your masculinity and coming from the right place.

This is where the catch phrase, ‘expression not impression’ comes from. (http://alexattitude.com/?p=22). Everything that you do is generated from a place of abundance and indifference, and is purely an expression of your true self. You are not seeking validation or acting through egoic defense.
You are unstifled, indifferent and higher value, and people react to you more than you react to them.

TAKE CREDIT FOR THE THINGS YOU DO, BUT DON’T IDENTIFY WITH THEM.
Just because you fucked everything up, doesn’t make you a fuck up.
Even if you screwed all the girls from Victoria’s Secret, it doesn’t make you a player.
Take credit and responsibility, sure, but what you do isn’t what you are, it’s merely a function and expression of what you are.
When you are in congruence with what you are, naturally, the things that you do are merely A CELEBRATION OF YOURSELF (see Tim in Transformations).
You can also think of the different things you do as different ways of decorating yourself. (http://naturaltim.com/?p=16). Take,for example, the way you dress or wear your hair. It can take many different forms, but it’s just an expression or a decoration of your physical self.

Guys who know who they are don’t care how you are received, or about the impression they make on others; they are only interested in what they can control.

There are a lot of different men out there, in the world, who are attractive. The commonalities between them are the fact that they are in congruence with what they are as men. But it is there differing experiences in life, which make them unique.
Everyone has a different story, a different sense of humour, different goals and they decorate themselves in different ways, and this is why women can be attracted to different types of men. The thing that makes them attractive is that they don’t identify with that they do. They identify with what they are, they know themselves more than the women knows herself, and as a result, she reacts to him and is aroused by the emotional spike ripples that come from him.

You’re the same as every other man, it is only how you apply yourself, and the way you behave that makes you attractive. To identify with what you have done is to form an ego, and to cease actively behaving in the ways that are congruent to you as a man. You become unattractive because you think you have the game won, purely on your past experiences.