Massmördargame

[godsgift]

Att anta att det sitter i en kvinnas psyke att bli attraherad av massmördare är bara helt och hållet fel... Extrem PU-conditioning / women hating varning om tankarna går så... Klart det finns en del tjejer som har en fixation om hur "spännande" eller horny det vore att ha sex med såna här livsfarliga människor. Lika finns det tjejer som har rejäla daddy issues som aktivt söker sig till såna här snubbar för att återskapa hur "säkert" det kändes som barn. Oavsett hur mkt skit de får av det.

Yes, precis som Simme säger. Ingenting fel med att vara snäll. Men är du snäll för att pleasa andra och för att få deras bekräftelse blir du direkt en "nice guy" utan balls. Ingen tjej av värde blir attraherad av det.

Det vi har idag i Sverige är en rejäl hög med second stage wimps som är rädda för tjejerna. De är inte genuint snälla utan låter sig konstant bli övertrampade och försöker bevisa hur snälla, duktiga och vilka bra värderingar de har genom att bli "nice guys"

Här är ett quote från en grym snubbe från ett annat forum

The attachment patterns our mind operates with are very powerful. and we subconsciously recreate the home we are familiar with. *USERNAME* already said it. The fucked up thing of our brain is that we are constantly recreating and being drawn to a world that confirms our beliefs. It takes a lot of awareness and especially commitment to change these patterns. Especially if one is caught in the so called anxious-avoidant trap. Putting clarity and light on such a relationship is painful and might lead to a break up so both parties can first heal some of their own wounds. At the same time these processes can uncover a deeper love for oneself and the other. I mean how can something be love if that means holding the other person back for my own safety and security. Or expecting her to learn her lessons first before I learn mine. Opening your heart for your partner regardless whether you stay together or not is tough but liberating experience.
That said. I think *FORUMNAME* can improve also with regards to understanding how attachment in a committed relationship has lots of scientifically proven benefits. There is a so called dependency paradox. The more reliable and free we are to depend on our partner the less we need to depend on our partner because we are confident that their support will be there when needed. (This limbic (emotional) connection between two people is measurable in FMRI scans.)

This (devine) dependency works beautifully and mostly automatically for people with a secure attachment style. People with an anxious attachment style tough, overly rely on the other partner because they do not feel safe in themselves and people with an avoidant attachment style constantly feel pressured and limited because their brain suppresses their own intimicy need from their consciousness. They actually do this as a way to cope with the fear of losing their intimate partner, because they are convinced their partner can not be relied on.

Knowing your attachment style means that you can much more personally decide which practices are most important to work on . Anxious: Self-relience. Avoidant: vulnerability and trust.

The reward for working through these patterns is great though. Being in a supportive and loving relationship has clear benefits. In a survey of 10.000 people in denmark they found that the number of times you have flu in a year was directly correlated to how often your partner responds positively for bids for attention. (secure people are supportive 90% of the cases, avoidants 30% of the cases). The likelihood of dying from stress related health issues was 2 to 12 times higher when being in an unsupportive relationship or being single compared to being in a supportive relationship. (I have to look these numbers up, but they were quite amazing).

Having said all that. *USERNAME*. Do share how you're feeling. Where are these thoughts coming from? It does feel that you are very scared of losing your partner and that's a feeling i think we all are familiar with. Reach out... Smiley heart