Relaxation Pt II --> Unplug from validation

[Evilvalle]

Then I had that crazy night when I was so crazy depressed that all I cared about was relaxing because if I didn't relax my emotions go out of control. So I didn't care at all about girls' validation. I didn't try anything. I was full of ego, I wasn't completely present, but I didn't TRY to convey anything and I was fully relaxed. I tried so little that I would just let anything out. So I was open about feeling fucking broken inside. It all came out because I just didn't care at all about what the girls thought. I was still horny though and wanted to fuck. So I approach just to see if anything would happen if I just approach without trying anything. Let's just not commit suicide was kind of the bar I set for the night.

I leaned back against a wall. Just didn't approach. Pickup people would keep approaching me, I just answered 1-2 words and looked the other way. A couple of guys told me "you look bored man, you gotta get momentum man! Approach her!". They tried to help. Tried to push me. I just told them to "go approach yourself, I'm not your friend."

I would only approach the crazy scary sets. It was kind of an exercise because I didn't try to get laid really even though i was horny, I just wanted to build my character a little.

So I talked to girls the same way I dealt with community people that night. 1-2 word answers. When they asked me about shit I could brag about I just didn't. They had to pull it out of me. I didn't take much interest. Because I didn't care about her validation. Or anyone's validation. I just tried to relaxed and did my best to be polite. Which was hard. But I did open with a compliment and tried to be somewhat nice. That kept them around. But the second they did something I didn't like I would leave. They felt this. They felt I didn't look to ANYONE for acceptance, validation, comfort. They also realised that I approached completely relaxed and congruent without a drop of alcohol. That I didn't do anything to keep their attention. They realised I could up and leave at any second, they were always on the verge of losing me.
That night became really crazy eventually. I kept up this behaviour. When I did I realised that girls like me for me. Not for my state, momentum, stories, jokes, routines, push pulls, compliance building skills, sexual frame control etc.

Ja, det är precis detta Mark Manson menar med: "be vulnerable", men väldigt få verkar förstå vad han faktiskt menar. Det handlar om att vara helt öppen med hur man känner sig. Problemet när man blir medveten om detta är att man kan börja försöka använda det som en teknik - "om jag är vulnerable så går det bättre med tjejer!" - vilket ironiskt nog förstör hela grejen, man börjar göra det för att få ut nåt från situationen igen, vilket gör att det slutar fungera.

In the coming 3-4 weeks I went completely insane. I had a hard time sleeping. My identity was changing. I started to realise that I was at the top of the social hierarchy. It was insane to realise. Everything changed. And I was now the one who GIVE validation, not seeking it. It comes from within me. My main wing at the time (BIG DADDY) saw this change happen and couldn't believe it. I had been struggling for the longest time and then I just flipped a fucking switch.

Ja, man tänker tillbaka på alla tekniker man använt, allt detta behov av att "dhva" etc och inser att det inte ens behövs, allt som behövdes var att "vara sig själv".

I also think that having a model to follow makes you relaxed and comfortable. You take rejection less personally. And you usually get success faster. I believe that's the best way to start. Because many techniques are very very real. They WORK.

Att lära sig tekniker, system att följa, "formler" och experimentera med diverse koncept är en av grundstenarna som gör pick up så ofantligt roligt och det är utan tvekan det bästa sättet för en nybörjare. Inte bara för att få snabba resultat men för att det blir som en "skill" att lära sig, vilket i sig är väldigt motiverande.

När man hör: "var bara dig själv!" som ny, så förstår man det dels inte, men även OM man skulle förstå innebörden så skulle det fortfarande inte motivera lika mycket som: "här, lär dig detta system".

Get success like that, but learn to fucking relaaaax too. And also stop saying shit to get validation. Use a punish/reward behaviour to create compliance and investment. But do it because it's FUN, not because it's attractive or because some dude on the internet told you to do it. Learn about frame control too, but because it's FUN. Same thing with pulling.
But for the love of god - STOP CREATING ATTRACTION, BUILDING MOMENTUM, GETTING INTO STATE, CREATING DRAMA ETC BECAUSE YOU THINK THE GIRL WILL LIKE YOU FOR IT. It doesn't matter what you do if you seek her validation.

Ett praktiskt sätt är att "fall in love with the process", dvs bli så enormt besatt i systemet i sig att ens hela fokus är på det, vilket i sin tur gör att all form av bekräftelsebehov från tjejen försvinner då det enda man bryr sig om är processen i sig, man framstår som "unreactive" vilket gör en mycket mer attraktiv.