allt om PUA Del 1 (hittad på nätet)

[Insecureboy]

It’s the value
that makes thegirl receptive to the idea of having a connection with you in the first place.
It’s not that you shouldn’t worry about your sense of humor or making a connection with a woman, it’s
just that
value tends to be a prerequisite
. It’s not everything, but it tends to come first. She’s gonna
give you much more of a chance, listen more, and be more affected by you if you have value.Because we only have so much time and energy,
we tend to seek out the relationships thatprovide us the most benefit
. I
t’s not good or bad –

it is what it is. Recognize it, but don’t analyze or
judge people for it.
►
Every relationship is up for grabs. The second someone senses that they benefit more bydirecting their time + energy from an old relationship to a new one, their mind is wired to startseeking out reasons to do so.
RAS (Reticular Activation System)Part of the brain which filters out that which is of no value to you and zones in on that whichdoes have value.
This also works with your memories of past events. When a relationship has value, your RAS causesyou to remember the good stuff in the past of the relationship. But when the relationship has no valueanymore, the focus changes. You start to only see the bad things about the person and in the past ofthe relationship.To get around RAS and not put too much value on the girl, you have to treat her as if she is like a
guy, if she can get your full attention fast, then subconsciously she thinks: “Oh, I have value.” When
you can be normal around a very attractive
woman, that’s gonna get a pull of attraction.
With RAS you know how to pull the social energy in your direction, and you also know how to makepeople fight to get within your field of vision.
►
The game the girls play is trying to get you to react to them,
they’re trying to get into your
RAS.Point is, people sustain relationships by focusing on what they get out of it. When the value changes,what they focus on is subject to change.
What you shouldn’t take away from this is (DEAR GOD!) not
that everyone is rationalizing against you
–

that’s a self
-
fulfilling prophecy. You can recognize what’s going on but at the same time you just
chill and assume the best.


7
The world is a light place, so don’t get too caught up in this stuff. Understand it, but don’t focus on it.

Value Is Your Magnet
When you have value, people will listen to what you have to say and they’ll try to impress y
ou in
conversation. You’ll change the topic of conversation/venue/etc and they’re into it.
People want to be in the warm end of the pool, not get kicked out. Want to be at the popular end ofthe table, instead of looking over at it.
Situational Value / Subjective PerceptionSocial value could come as a result of a specific situation.

It’s a form of value that isn’t worth
anything on its own, but in a particular situation, as a result of the environment, is worth a lot. Theenvironment gives someone status t
hey wouldn’t have on their own.

►
(Ex: Professor giving inspiring lecture, performer performing concert, guy throwing party athis house, DJ, celebrity, bartender, etc.)
This leads to situational confidence.
If you know that you can anticipate a positive response based
on your environment, you’re gonna feel confident. You assume value and w
hen you know that you
have value, you will tend to be outside your head, when you don’t
think you have value, you will tendto be inside your head.
In the moment vs. micromanaging.

►

When you are outside your head you are:
enjoying yourself, acting in the moment, letting
your real personality come out, saying what’s on your mind, being unaffected by how other
people react, being detached from the outcome of any one particular interaction, taking things
as they come, being fully present to what’s going on around you and expecting that everyone
is your friend.
►

When you are in your head you are:
not enjoying the moment for what it is and saying to
yourself “How can I make this moment better?”, “How can I get morestatus/liked/acceptance/validation?”
You are trying to change your personality specifically tomake people like you, feeling flustered by all the social things that you feel like you need tobe doing, being emotionally aff
ected by other people’s reactions, feeling like some particular
interaction HAS to work or you might not get another chance, trying to think a step ahead andanalyze how everyone will respond to you, being too stuck in your mind to even pay attentionto wh
at’s going on around you and feeling like you’re being judged.
Makes you feel: unnatural, forced, needy, contrived.

The Best Way To Make People Like You:Just express your personality freely and let the chips fall where they may.
This implies that you are secure with who you are and probably have the value to back it up. What
you’re sub
-communicating is so much more powerful when you can just be in the moment and allow
the words to come out, shows you aren’t even trying.

►

What you’ll find is that anytime you

go into your head to try to impress, you’ll lose the girl.
Even if what you are saying is not as intelligent as if you had gone into your head to fish it
out, you’ll still hold more attraction. You’ll be saying nonsense and she’ll be enjoying it, but as
soon as you go into your mind of some cool thing that you wanted to say to impress her,
you’ll repel her.


The most liberating mindset:

Accept that the world owes you nothing, and in the end you’ll
get back no more, no less, than you deserve.



8
Reactiveness
In any social interaction, one person’s reacting more to the other person than the other person’s reacting to them. Always.

►
They change their personality/act different to get youracceptance; they analyze how they are taking up yourspace and time.When you are having these types of reactions to people you are
giving your power away
. People don’t want you to do that,
everyone wants to be around the cool, fun, charismatic dude that
doesn’t do that.

Core Confidence
Whereas people with situational confidence will become inhibited and reactive when you put them
into a new situation, someone with core confidence doesn’t depend on being in a sit
uation. They
assume value all the time
, they have core value as opposed to situational value.The reason why you should have core confidence is simply because
people will buy into it
. You cansee the glitch in the matrix, how other people are walking around and if you just appear a little more
confident than them, you’ll have the dominant reality.

►

“If you act like a rockstar, you’ll get treated like a rockstar.”

Anyone can understand how and why you should have core confidence intellectually, but to really
become a guy that’s great with women, you really
need to have that “click” in your head
: “Okay, Ihave core value.” A lot of this seminar is how to create that click.

This is about being able to be that same cool guy no matter where you are or who you’re w
ith. Able to
go into any environment and be the person who you’re meant to be, not relying on any personality
shell or situational confidence.

Love
When most guys get in, they want one girl. Truth is, you have to become good with women ingeneral. You have
to get out of the model of the world where every girl you meet you’re “falling in lovewith”.

It’s a big mindscrew when your 1
st
girlfriend breaks up with you, and you want to get her back morethan anything, especially with SC, and many guys come into th
e community wanting to “win” their old
girlfriend back.
What is love?
Language is a weird thing in how it sometimes dictates our reality, instead ofdescribing it. In most languages, there are many words for many different types of love (brotherlylove, lo
ve for a father, love for a mother, infatuation, long term love, etc.) while in English it’s just“love”.

►
When you break the one word up
and you don’t have this one all
-
encompassing word that’s
supposed to mean everything, then the self-hypnosis most guys get into is not so common.
(“Forever” is the key word in self hypnosis.)
A lot of people see love as having supernatural properties.
(Ex: Only one soulmate for them out there,true love lasts forever, fate will handle love for them.)

►
With the belief system
s that there’s these types of “powerful forces” at work, it’s no wonder
people self-hypnotize themselves into wacky beliefs and emotional pain.
Love is not caused by another person.

It’s a trance that you put yourself into caused by yourself.
As we loop our thoughts over and over around the concept of a particular person, our mind shifts theway that we perceive them and suddenly everything makes sense
–

it’s love. Our thinking makes theperson into someone they’re not.
A chode is walking around with a gap in his self esteem, gets to plug the gap temporarily if he finds awoman. Mistakes validation or codependence for love. But you should be able to self-generate thatfeeling -> a lot of guys are stuck in unhealthy-land, use the girl as a pillar because they
’re
disconnected from their own self esteem. Use the woman as a sort of situational confidence.
►

The difference in Tyler’s relationship is that he wasn’t coming from a position of lack, and
neither was she. There was an offering of value there, like fueling fire, not codependence.



9When you first start talking to a girl in a club and you two hit it off, you may start to feel as if you two
have a connection. This is bad because when you were just having fun, she was giving you her “hotguy” personality, but on
ce you start to become outcome-dependent and she starts to lose attraction toyou, you start to lose state
►
Get over it by: knowing that you do not know somebody
until you’ve gotten to know them over a significant period of time. Don’t make judgments/assump
tions.Love is something that you experience everywhere. To become very good at picking up chicks,sounds weird, but you have to get that spiritual side of you figured out.
You become a person whois independently happy, validated and amused.
►
That good feeling, that validation most guys get when they have a gf
–
you should be feeling
that about the whole world, and once you do, then you can focus it on one person. It’s no
longer needy/attached/codependent.

Full Circle
TacticsLovePlayerNaturalSocialCond.Sometimes you have to go on a journey in order to get what youreally want.


10
Identity
A concept that relates you to and also separates you from your social environment.
Your concept of
who you are and how you’re different from people.
-
> “Here’s what gives me a certain status
relative to other people and as a result I can act in al
l these different ways.”, “I’m cool so I can actcool.”
We are always processing our world through that little seed in our mind that is identity. What weperceive,
the way that we perceive it
, what we think about other people, wayour emotions respond to other people.
If you think you are down low on the totem pole and you meet a guy who’s uphigh, your experience of that person is gonna be a lot different than someone’swho’s as high as him.

There’s nothing physically stopping you from being who you want
in social
situations. We all have a construct of what a cool guy looks like, but we don’t
give ourselves permission to be that guy.
The only thing that’s really
stopping you from being that guy is your sense of identity.

If you don’t thinkyou’re the cool
guy high up on the totem pole, then anytime you try to be cool,
it’ll feel weird and you won’t want to do it, like swimming upriver.

Ultimately, your potential for social success is unlimited, but it’s your identitythat’s going to push you forward or pull
you back. Anything that involveselevating your status or going beyond the constraints of your identity, you will
block out that idea subconsciously. “That’s not me.”
Most of your personality is arbitrary. It could have developed one way or another, depending on your
circumstances. You may think that you came up with your personality (“That’s me, I can’t dosomething that’s not me!”, but most of it at this point you did not come up with.
-> When you wereyoung, did something and got validation, started to develop those personality traits.
►
Although your core never changes, many of your personality traits have
developed inreaction
. (Beta behavior, introversion, etc.)
►
The biggest thing is not to get too attached to what you believe right now. To grow and evolve
you can’t be attached.
Everybody has a good idea of what they deserve, including the types of women. When you believe
that you’re on a girl’s level, you’re gonna behave naturally and you’re easily go
nna be able to createattraction with that girl. When you think you deserve her, attraction is automatic.
►
But when
you’re going into your head to relate to what she’s saying or impress her, on someSUBTLE, SUBTLE level the power’s being given away.
The core difference between guys who are dancing monkeys (entertainers) and guys that pull is thatthe guys that pull know who they are.
Social Feedback
You don’t figure out how the world works on your own. You learn not to do a lot of stuff through 2
nd
hand feedback
–
learning socially.
On a subtle level, what we’re doing all the time is looking how other people are reacting to our
behavior.
Because we can read social cues, we can learn what is normal, permissible behavior.
►
So if you were young while your identity was forming and you tried to step up and you saw
other people say “that’s not permissible behavior”, “That’s not the right way to act” then your mind goes “no, don’t do that” –

“don’t act cool, don’t act popular, don’t be fun, etc.”
A great deal of your reality is unverified and second-hand
. We don’t have enough time to learn
everything on our own, so we learn to trust secondary info. We trust it based on how certain the otherperson is of what they are saying.