allt om PUA Del 1 (hittad på nätet)

[Insecureboy]

11When someone has a lot of certainty about wh
o you are, there’s a lot of psychological pressure put
on you to become that person.
Imprints
In your mind, you have a concept of what a cool/uncool person looks like. It’s an instinct to know what
high status behaviors are.
Your mind is always pinging to
find out how you’re supposed to act.
In different situations youact differently, depending on where your mind thinks you are on the social totem pole.
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These different ways of acting are called imprints. You use different imprints in differentsituations. So depending on how people are reacting to you when you ping, you choose adifferent imprint.Your mind lets you choose a different personality based on what it thinks people will accept/like. Itdoes this because for the first millions of years of evolution if you made someone unhappy they wouldtake a rock and bash your head in. Now you can do practically anything and get away with it.
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Yes, you’ll get humiliated a lot and feel uncool since you’re trying to be someone you’re notwhen you’re working on your
personality, but
you won’t get injured, you won’t die. If you’reafraid of humiliation and discomfort, then you’ll never grow.

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It’s harder to willingly humiliate yourself then get in a fight for most guys because, while being
a manly man is part of your identity, being a dumbass chode is not.
The mind has developed an emotional system that doesn’t let you act above your range
because it wants to keep you alive. It gives you encouragement to access the confident part of your
personality, the “confident imprint” whenever you think you have value and gives you discouragementfrom accessing it when you don’t. You still have this system even though most of the threats it wasdesigned to help you avoid no longer exist. There’s no risk of getting kicked out of the
tribe and dying.
Now it’s only “really embarrassing and annoying”.

State / Nimbus
Fancy word for confidence. You give yourself permission to be the person who you’re meant to be
.
When you’re in state:

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A feeling of being complete,
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A surge of positivity, steadiness and dominance,
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A sort of naturalness where everything clicks,
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A feeling that you are the source of good emotions in the environment,
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A feeling of total abundance where nothing could go wrong,
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Your jokes hit and you can say anything,
When you’re ou
t of state:
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A feeling of being incomplete,
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A burden of being weighed down, anxious or antsy,
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A sort of unnaturalness where everything is off-rhythm and ill-timed,
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You view other people as the source of good emotions (value scanning).
Key distinction:
you h
ave good emotions and you don’t care vs. you have no good emotions andyou’re self
-
conscious. Your mind quiets, you’re in the moment and you’re totally outside of your head.

Naturals tend to go in state more than regular people, it’s what makes them natura
l.
When you’re in state, people’s unconscious mind says: “this guy must have value, he must be theshit”. You’re also communicating authentically, which is what people like –

when you’re coming from a
position of abundance, you have less need to be inauthentic.
The problem:
when you know about state you get self-conscious and try to force it.
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While on one level you can understand that state is liberating, state allows you to do what
you want, say what you want and it’ll work great
, on another level you have to have apersonal boundary:
Never monitor whether or not you’re in state, just go
:

“If I’m not in state, I’m JUST GOING TO GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS ANYWAY”


12
Resistance
Concept from eastern philosophy, a new emotion.Resistance is the emotion that you experience when you wish that the reality that is in front of you
was different in some way. It’s the opposite of acceptance. Never resist the reality that’s in front of
you, just accept it and take right action.
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Instead of: “Oh, I’m so depressed. I hate being depressed.” do: “I’m depressed. I don’t mind.”
Creates space between you and the emotion.So the first gateway out of not being in state is just accepting.
“That which you resist, persists.”

Taking Right Action
Taking right action is a muscle. We live in a society where the idea that [bad emotions are a valid
excuse not to act] is a good reason not to do something. Taking right action is like saying “This iswhat is required to be done and I’m gonna do it regardless of emotion.” You feel the emotion in your
body, but you just move forward anyway.
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It’s like when you’re drunk and the police officer asks you to walk in a straight line. You’re
totally shit-faced, but you try, you just try.
THAT’S LIKE WHAT MOST OF TYLER’S LIFE IS.
The only difference between courageous and cowards is being able to walk through a fog of bad
emotions. Even Tyler doesn’t take right action all the time, maybe 1/3 of the time, but most people do
it 2% of the time.
Identity Criterion
–
State Thermometer
There is truth to the idea that people in impoverished countries are happier than those who havemany luxuries. The reason?
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Someone who lives in impoverished may have less rules about when they allow themselvesto experience happiness.
“I can be happy when I’m out dancing.” Vs “I can be happy when Ihave this and this and when I’ve accomplished this in my job, etc”
What does your mind need to view yourself as a worthwhile guy? Your identity/entitlement criterion iswhere your mind looks to reference how much value you have. (A.k.a. the rules you have to decidewhether or not you can go into state.)
The “thermometer” that you use to decide whether or not you go into state is actually
programmable.
Much of the programming you have in your thermometer now is done through socialconditioning. These are most of the ways guys chase after state:
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1. Superficial Standards

–
looking good (incl. clothes, haircut), having a high status job,
making money or owning nice things. Society’s unrealistic st
andards.
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2. Alliances

–
friendships or relationships. When you feel guaranteed acceptance because ofthe people around you.
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3. Competencies

–
When you have anything that makes people want something from you.Access/knowledge/expertise/jokes. Something the community has been based on for so long
–
get in state because it allows you to feel you can provide the good emotions.
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4. Roleplays

–
When the circumstances in your life call on you to assume a role.Teacher/being around people of lesser status.These things are kind of like rules that you want to move past. Try going out not dressed as good oralone to accumulate new reference experiences and learn not to depend on any external forces. Nice
clothes aren’t bad –

dress nice if you want to, but don’t be limi
ted by it. Move past it.
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It’s letting that confidence come from within and not needing something else to be there.


13
Pickup lines. When a pickup guru who has so much authority and social proof tells you “use this line”,
your subconscious mind believes it, sa
ys “look at this, I have something to offer now.” You say it with
confidence, in a way that conveys value, because you now truly believe that you have value.
CORE VALUE: The Final Criterion On State Thermometer
Most guys spend their lives chasing circumsta
nces, it’s a self
-destructive pattern. The problem is,
most guy’s perception of the cause
-effect relationship with these things is skewed
.
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Ex:

Cool clothes.
Most new styles were created by guys who have enough charisma to pullthem off. Hip hop clothes wer
e first created by people who didn’t have money, but they
decided it was cool and believed in it so much that it became cool. So rather than going out
and trying to get the perfect clothes, what if you said “I’m gonna make these clothes cool.Own what I’m wearing.” Anything that you have, you can make cool. Don’t be the guy who
reacts to trends, be the guy who creates them.
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Likewise, most people are looking in a venue for friends/relationships, “When
I have these
relationships, then I’m gonna feel confident.” But in reality, core confidence is what brings the
relationships to you.
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Most people need people reacting to them in order to feel confident, but they don’t realize the
cause and effect that
when you are confident people react to you.
The first layer of getting core confidence is the flipping of cause and effect. You can stop chasing allthe circumstances.
It’s not gonna happen right away. We’re just planting the seeds here.
If you don’t
know how your old, outdated emotional system works, it all feels so real.
Knowing about thisallows your core confidence to just sort of come out. And as you get more reference experiences your
mind starts to accept “This is the truth.”

Traits to cultivate to get core value:
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You identify yourself as an individual that can
’t be categorized, with a dynamic and flexible
identity that could evolve at any time that you choose.
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You know what you’ve been through in life and trust yourself to get by no matter what
situation you choose.
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You value your opinion of yourself more highly than the values and opinions of others andyou determine your own value by a criteria that is your own.
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You know that your acceptance in any particular situation is never a threat to your overallwell-being.
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You know what your best qualities are and that
even if people don’t see them or acknowledgethem, you know very well that they exist. (You don’t need other people to validate that your
best qualities exist. Your state will not go down.)
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You know that you offer real value to people and if they don’t see it, it’s their issue, not yours.

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You believe that your life, perspective and energy have an inherent value whether otherpeople acknowledge it or not.
Guy With Situational Confidence

Guy with Core ConfidenceYou

You
EnvironmentStatusFriends

His roots, where he draws his statefrom, are all outside of him.
He doesn’t need the roots of his
confidence to extend outside ofhim. It comes from within.


14
Conflicting Realities - Anticipated ResponsesWhenever you do anything, you have an anticipated response.
You can predict, so your sense ofreality is what allows you to make predictions about the world.
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You have a model in your head about all the different cause-
effect relationships. It’s your
view of how the world works, how people are like and how they should respond to you andyour view of what you deserve out of life.
“Whoever has the strongest reality wins.”

They’ll tend to impose that reality onto the other people
around them. They have the stronger belief about who they are, how people should treat them, andwhere they stand on the totem pole. It will suck other people into that reality, and people will begin totreat them through that context.
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So while most people are always pinging to see how they should act.
…people with strong realities ping much less
than others, and are less affected. They act mostly
the same in all situations…

Ex:
strong reality of a hot girl in a bar vs. a dude who gets a lot of girls:
Hot Girl Believes:
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1. I’m a hot girl.

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2. You are the next guy of thenight.
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3. You needvalidation/approval/sex from me.
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4. I am too hard for you to get…

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5. …but feel free to entertain me if
you like.
Cool Dude Believes:
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1. I have no shortage of options.
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