Cajun: Advanced Body Language

[Vagabond]

Advanced Body Language


Whenever students ask me how I learned to attract women with such ease I always say the same thing: Body language. I then recite a quote, something that was told to me a long time ago:

“Everything you’ll ever need to learn about women, you can learn from Rock n roll.”

A very wise man once told me this and I’m sure most of my students are just as confused as I was when I first heard it, but now several years (and many women) later I can whole-heartedly agree, it’s absolutely true.

One of the by-products of committing yourself to the study of attraction and how it works is that you start noticing things that you never noticed before. A lot of us instructors refer to this as “seeing the matrix” and it basically amounts to identifying and understanding the cause and effect of the most subtle communications; body language. It becomes somewhat of a sixth sense and it’s exceptionally difficult to turn off, especially if you’re at all an analytical person (and let’s face it, you kind of have to be if you want to get good at this stuff) This is why us instructors are so proficient at breaking down what students did right or wrong in a set simply by casually observing them. We can see the matrix.

I realized a long time ago that the secret to attraction isn’t in what you say, it’s in how you carry yourself; your presence, something controlled almost entirely by your body language. I knew that if I was to master the art of attraction, I would need to master the art of body language. Remembering the words of wisdom I had been told all those years ago, I turned to rock n roll.

I began sifting through literally hundreds of videos documenting performances of the most prolific and sexually charged rock icons in music history. I used my “sixth sense” to meticulously analyze every thing they did. I studied how they walked, how they danced, their facial expressions, even how they stood still! I started to notice a pattern, there were three qualities that nearly every sex symbol in the history of rock n roll all had in common, and it had nothing to do with their music or looks.

The first quality I recognized was immediate; sexual presence. Most of the musicians elicited this through their dancing, which wasn’t that useful since I obviously couldn’t be dancing all the time. The absolute best example of sexual presence I could find was Jim Morrison simply because he elicited tremendous sexual presence by doing very little. I hadn’t watched any videos of him performing since I was a teenager and seeing it again with my “sixth sense” absolutely blew my mind. He moved slowly, purposefully, as if to poeticize his presence. Everything seemed so calculated. After referencing what he did with a number of other sexual icons, I quickly made a list:

Advanced body language – Sexual Presence

1. Less is more.

- Move only when you need to, and react with delay.

- Slow down your movements, as if moving underwater.

- Movement should be bold, sporadic and purposeful.


2. Poeticize your presence.

- Absolutely believe that you are a spectacle to be witnessed.

- Draw attention to your every move with strong eye contact, and delayed responses.

- Always appear physically more comfortable than anyone else in the group. Lean back when standing, angle back and drape your arms when sitting.

- Your demeanor should be carefree, content; you do not want or need anything.


3. Emphasize your sexuality

- Relax your eyes. Look at Jim Morrison, Phil Lynott or even Marilyn Monroe, their eyes all carry the same look, model it.

- Slightly Purse your lips, as if you’re about to kiss them.

- Slightly tilt your head up and look down when speaking.

- Slowly study women’s faces during interaction, glance at lips periodically.

- Keep an inquisitory look of mild arousal on your face.


I began modeling my body language based on this list and the results were epic. This is the reason I stopped using routines, I no longer needed them. Everything they communicated I could now communicate with my body. Even openers started to become unnecessary as women were now opening ME more than ever, based simply on the way I stood and the look on my face. Attraction went from slowly earned to instantaneous, but there were still some gaps…

The hottest women, although attracted, would still shit test me. Not only that, but AMOGs started to become more of a problem as I was now getting a tremendous amount of female attention. This is where the second quality I found amongst sexual rock icons came in handy, and allowed me to smoothly and effortlessly diffuse any shit test or amog attempt that was thrown at me…


Advanced Body Language – Part 2: Restraint

Hey guys, this is part 2 of a 3 part series I’ve written on advanced body language. You can read part 1 here. And for those of you who wish to see some visual examples of what I’m talking about you can watch the video of me I’ve linked in my sig (My keys episode).

In the last article I mentioned that, after systematically analyzing the shit out of the most prolific sexual icons in history, I managed to nail down a formula of how to move in a way that exudes many of the qualities humans (that’s women AND men) go crazy for. The first quality I explained was sexual presence, and if you’ve followed and practiced what I said then you should now have no trouble successfully approaching (and being approached by) the most beautiful women in the venue without getting blown out. But that is just the beginning and you now have a new challenge to undertake; how do you rise above the inevitable onslaught of shit tests and cockblocks?


John Bonham was the greatest drummer who ever lived. Most people, critics and fans alike, would agree with that statement. However, if you ask people why he was the greatest drummer of all time then the answers start to become a little convoluted. Keith Moon could hit just as hard, and his style and timing were equally (if not more so) groundbreaking. What sets Bonzo apart from all the other great drummers past and present? The answer, of course, is the very subject of this article.

John Bonham was the greatest drummer of all time because of his ability to show tremendous restraint. It was Bonzo’s ability to hold back that made him so attractive as a drummer. Just when you thought he was going as hard as he could, he would go harder… and then harder again, his unpredictability became legendary. He would tackle the most complex rhythms with such ease and panache that you would start to question whether or not there was any limit to his ability. John Bonham never showed his limits.

Restraint, in the context of seduction, is never showing your limits. Overcoming challenges with the least visible effort, but doing so in a way that hints at something much greater. How does this relate to body language? Well, it works the same way; less is more. Once you grasp the nuances of the most subtle physical reactions things become much, much easier. I’ll give you an example.

Put yourself in this situation

You are walking home from the bar one night alone. Up ahead you see a group of 2 rough looking guys who seem to be out to cause trouble. You walk by and they begin verbally assaulting you, you keep walking until they say “Hey you fucking fagot! Look at me when I talk to you!”

What happens?

The coward will run away.
The confident man will match their aggression with his own, and hope that his hand is stronger.

The ideal man, that is, the man who has complete control, will do neither. The ideal man will simply turn around and give the 2 men a look. That look, in all its simplicity, will communicate so much more than any words could possibly achieve. Understand that when men show aggression it’s always reaction seeking. They want a reaction because they need to gauge your limit, they want to read your hand. If you ever watch 2 male lions fighting you will notice something similar;

Before the fight, the beta lion will be just outside the alpha lion’s comfort zone and will begin threatening the alpha lion with roars and turning it’s head sideways to show off it’s teeth. The alpha lion will simply stand there and watch the beta lion. No amount of aggression on the beta lion’s part will affect the alpha lion in any way, he is a rock. If the beta lion moves forward, so does the alpha lion, even more so and without delay. What happens? Unless the beta lion has strength in numbers he will almost always accept defeat, even if he is much bigger than the alpha lion. If the alpha lion shows any sort of reaction to the beta’s aggression then they will almost always fight.

So how does all of this translate out in the field?

Advanced Body Language: Restraint

1. The simple most subtle reactions are the best.

If you get shit tested hard (ie “why are you talking to us!?”) the best reaction is to not say a word. Simply smile, raise your eyebrows and cock your head back as if a 4 year old just challenged you to a fight in the most verbally insulting (and hilarious) way possible. If she admits defeat with her body language (she will look uncomfortable and not know what to say next) then you need to reward her, kino her and say “You have a lot of confidence, I like that”

2. Make them show their hand first.

Often, when someone has the confidence to make a threat to someone whose limits they don’t know, they rarely have the confidence to do it twice. So, if a persistent Amog says something insulting like “Uhh dude these girls think you’re gay, you should leave” Simply smile confidently and without missing a beat say “Excuse me?!” then immediately look at the girls with eye code that says “is this guy an idiot?” Look back at the guy in a way that demands a reaction from him. His only option will be to ante up the aggression, in which case, read on…

3. Actively encourage challengers

Nothing is more frightening to a man than an opponent who actively seeks, and seems to enjoy aggression thrown at him. Be confident in your ability to rise above, always remain calm, cool and collected. An unreactive man is a man who cannot be read, and therefore cannot be beaten.

Amog: “Don’t listen to this guy, he sounds like a fucking idiot”
You: *Big smile* “Im sorry, did you just call me a FUCKING IDIOT?” Hold eye contact, actively expect a response. If he maintains his frame, read on…

4. Never admit defeat

Never secede from their advances. Always make them ante up their aggression. If it gets to the point where you think they are going to make a scene (which rarely EVER happens) then simply smile, pat them on the back and say “You’re cool dude, you got a lot of confidence, I respect that” this will actually make people like you MORE. True alpha males respect other men who can stand up against them, the same is true for women. This is why you should NEVER admit defeat, take them as far as they can go then respect them for it, everybody wins.


Now that you have the body language of a rock star, and the confidence (through restraint) of an 800lb gorilla you should have no problem getting the girl right?

Actually, there’s still one piece missing from the puzzle, and it’s the most important piece.

With the advice I have given you so far you should be able to successfully sarge just about any set, and attract just about any woman, but this is advanced body language! There must be more! How do you go about attracting anyone, and I mean anyone! There is more to physical attraction than sexual presence and restraint, the third quality separates the players from the Legends. What secret did Don Juan, Cleopatra, and Casanova employ to make them so irresistible?

Stay tuned for part 3 where I go over the third quality: Aura and Mystique.


Hey Guys, the final chapter in my advanced body language series is up on my blog. I'll post the first bit here, but visit my blog to read the rest...

Alright, so in the past 2 articles I’ve gone over how to exude sexual presence, alpha behaviour, and restraint using only your body language. Ok great, it’s been 3 months, so now you can compete with the naturals right? Damn right you can! But unfortunately for you, once you’re at this level naturals start appearing much, much more and if you’re going to stand out from even them, then you’re going to need something that only the TOP seducers throughout history have mastered.


Aura & Mystique.


So what is it?

Aura and mystique is achieved by communicating to women, through non-verbal communication, that you are a man of exceptionally rare quality.

That’s the most logical way I can explain it if I was to define it. I came across this quality while reading about the great seducers; Casanova, Don Juan, Cleopatra, and Rudolf Valentino, they all were described by their lovers as “having an aura” or “Sense of mystique”. So how did they do it? How did they communicate that quality to their lovers? Well, all of the great seducers have their own unique way of displaying this quality...

Casanova would be very clear and open with his sexual intent. He would act on this intent without reserve, and communicate to women that he was simply in love with the act of love.

Cleopatra used her ingenuity and theatrics to seduce. She would plan complex entrances and stage theatrics in order to immortalize herself in the minds of her lovers.

Rudolf Valentino was overtly sexual with his movements, especially his eyes, and seduced millions by the wanton way in which he treated the heroines in his films, something very out of the ordinary for the time.

These are just a few examples, and as you study more and more seducers you find that every one of them have their own special way of standing out from the competition of the time.

So how do we take these lessons in the history of seduction and apply it to our current day interactions?

Advanced Body Language – Aura & Mystique

1. Dress the part.

All of the above seducers dressed in a way that stood out from the competition. Some were astonishingly flashy, some quite unremarkable for today’s standards (An open shirt anyone?)

I’m not going to lie; pea cocking makes a huge difference in how you’re perceived. The trick that most people don’t get (And the main reason you often see at least 1 awkward looking guy wearing a fur hat and eyeliner in any given bar) is that pea cocking only makes you LOOK LIKE someone with mystique, it does not GIVE YOU IT. As well, how you’re dressed and how you act have to be in line with each other (congruency) otherwise you’re going to look like a fake and get blown out or even made fun of. You can’t dress like Mystery without a reason or a personality that goes along with it. Cleopatra wanted people to think she was divine, Rudolf wore tight pants and exposed chests for sex appeal. I have long hair, tight pants, dress in black and leather because I play the villain, so I make sure to dress the part. Figure out who you are and then dress in a slightly stylized version of that. If you’re confused as to *who* you are, identity is something we go over in our seminars (and 1on1s) so if you’ve taken one, you should already know.

2. Make an entrance!

This isn’t as hard as it sounds; don’t worry about staging something extravagant, often, the simpler it is, the better. Your “entrance” basically amounts to a first impression. I’ve actually started asking the women I’ve been with when it was when they realized they were attracted to me, and nearly all of them say something similar, which has given me some insight into how powerful first impressions can be. Here is an actual transcript from a recent one:

Cajun: *Above question*
Rachel: Oh right away.
Cajun: Really? I’m not *that* attractive.
Rachel: No no, it wasn’t that, it was just like you were this funny guy who didn’t give a shit, and I remember looking at you and thinking “He’s a *bad* one!” and then as soon as I thought that, you looked at me…
Cajun: Awwww
Rachel: Haha shut up! Actually, the way you looked at me was pretty intense too.
Cajun: Intense?
Rachel: Most guys just smile, or get nervous and look away when I notice them, you locked eyes with me and smirked like you knew that I was thinking dirty thoughts about you or something, even though I wasn’t!
Cajun: Yes you were, don’t lie.
Rachel: I wasn’t! But after you did that it’s all I could think about! That’s why I introduced myself a little later, I *had* to meet you.

The above was a girl I met at a party. And my “entrance”, as you can see, was simply a look. My clothes and body language got her attention, but it was the “look” that made the impression on her. Here’s another transcript:

Cajun: *same question*
Isabelle: When you walked up to me.
Cajun: It was a sexy walk?
Isabelle: No, I just noticed you in the bar and you looked over at me and smirked, I thought “Ehh..he’s ok looking” but then you furrowed your eyes like you knew what I was thinking and without looking away you slowly walked over to me and said something really sexy, guys NEVER do that.
Cajun: Do you remember what I said?
Isabelle: Something like “You can’t look at me like that” but it wasn’t what you said, you gave off this confidence, like I remember feeling that even if I wanted to reject you it wouldn’t even have worked, it was weird, but sexy weird. When you left, my friends were like “Who the fuck was THAT guy?” You made a pretty good impression.

The way that I opened this woman was the same way I open every woman that looks at me in a bar. Goes like this:

Girl looks at me
I look at her, HOLD eye contact.
If she holds for more than 2-3 seconds I walk over slowly without looking away.
I get in close and in the most seductive voice I can muster I say “You can’t look at me like that and not say anything”

One of the most important elements here is the *way* that you look at the women. This is hard to explain in text, and I’d post a picture of the look but it wouldn’t help too much because it’s not really the look itself that’s important, but the message the look gives. Essentially you should be looking at them like “I get a funny joke that you don’t get”. That’s the easiest way I can explain it. Couple that with a few glances at their lips and some flirty kino and you have yourself a recipe for a sexy first impression.

[Vagabond]

3. Don’t give a shit.

Not giving a shit is one of the easiest ways to stand out from nearly every other guy that has approached your sets in the past. The reason is simple; most guys care what women think of them. This is actually a pretty unattractive trait, I don’t think women would admit it, but it is. It says a bunch of negative things which you don’t really need to know other than “they’re bad”. I’m assuming all of you care what women think of you when you approach, that’s ok, you can’t really just turn that off, the trick is to convince the women that you don’t give a shit, not yourself, at least initially. So how do you do it?

- SMILE: Not one of those “Look how happy I am!” grins, keep it cool, it should be a “I know exactly what I’m doing, and you can’t rattle me” type of grin. As well, whenever you don’t know what to say, just smile and look at them like you get something they don’t get. I mentioned this earlier and it’s probably one of the most powerful looks you can give. Practice it until you get it right, it’s a little different for everyone.

- SLOW DOWN: Don’t talk so fast, and try to pause for no reason often, followed by one of those smiles you’ve been practicing. If they ask you a question look at them and smile for a second or two before responding, as if they just asked a dirty question.

- LOOK COMFORTABLE: This pretty much comes down to locking in. Think about where you want to be locked in as you’re approaching the sets. Every good bar is set up in a way that there should always be something to lean on or sit on, so there are no excuses. I have actually leaned on PEOPLE in the past when there was nothing to lean on.


And the last most important rule for aura & mystique

4. Have complete confidence in your mastery of social interactions.

You should seem like someone who could never be uncomfortable, no matter what the situation. If something happens and you don’t know what to say just look comfortable and smile or make fun of the fact that its awkward and blame it on them. Always appear as if you’re one step ahead of everyone., be James Bond.

[Sylvester]

Läser typ aldrig random engelska texter folk postar här, men råkade läsa denna. SJUKT BRA.

[Commander]

Riktigt intressant med lite konkreta hands on tips. Många godbitar i denna att ta till sig!

[manwhore]

I love Cajun

[Commander]

"3. Emphasize your sexuality

- Relax your eyes. Look at Jim Morrison, Phil Lynott or even Marilyn Monroe, their eyes all carry the same look, model it.

- Slightly Purse your lips, as if you’re about to kiss them.

- Slightly tilt your head up and look down when speaking.

- Slowly study women’s faces during interaction, glance at lips periodically.

- Keep an inquisitory look of mild arousal on your face."

Ang. att vara avslappnad i blicken tänker jag direkt min på min man crush Ryan Gosling. Hans blick ger en känsla nästan av uppgivenhet/stoneface/mystik och samtidigt enorm empati och sexualitet.

[Judas]

Cajun e kung. De som inte sett det, kolla in honom i keys to the vip - han kör enbart rutiner där, för att demonstrera "att dem fungerar", men det handlar som ni (och han) vet inte om rutinerna, utan hans subcommunications och body language.

[TobiasK]

Cajun e kung. De som inte sett det, kolla in honom i keys to the vip - han kör enbart rutiner där, för att demonstrera "att dem fungerar", men det handlar som ni (och han) vet inte om rutinerna, utan hans subcommunications och body language.

yep, jag har länkat den här ngst