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[TobiasK]

BY Alexander~ | March 20th, 2009 at 3:12 PM
Shadow Lording... Messing with Ryan; and how Ryan Got Me Back.


Look, I’ll be honest with you. There is something wrong with Ryan. Exhibit A.

Ryan suffers from a Disease called Malcolm X. Ryan suffers from eleven names: Ground game, Sparky, Sparky underscore PUA, Bangladeshy Playboy 69, Yahya, Yahya Jones, Yahya Jones Bitch, Yahya Jones Bitch!, and Shadow Lord Target Number One.

Yahya has this many names because he doesn’t want all the girls he is slamming to find out his true identity, which recently was changed to Alexander~ Jr. Some don’t know, but Ryan fucks the girlfriends of internet billionaires, and like a ninja, swoops in and seduces the groupies of all American rock bands. He’s a gulf war stealth machine.

One thing I can tell is you is there is something very right about Ryan. He is the best wing in the world. If I could lord with anyone, it would be him. Tyler, Tim, Jeffy and Papa... yeah, you guys are cool, but Alexander~ Jr. (Ryan) is where it’s at.

He is the best for several reasons. For one, it is because he has the best technical skills and “know-how” in the game, bar NO-ONE FROM ANYWHERE. Also, when it comes time for analysis he will pace back and forth for hours on end mentally masturbating about interesting things.

Soon enough you can be sure Alexander~ Sr. is right in there with him as well, breaking it down and bringing an inner game perspective. And alas, the number one reason why Ryan is the best wingman in the world is because of this contrast with me. He’s an outer game National Aeronautics and Space Administration engineer. While he’s up in set with the hot girls with youthful junior enthusiasm, I’m eagerly waiting in line for a Corona to wrap my lime with.

Once my agent of hydration has been acquired I return to find Ryan deep in set with what is invariably a hottie. When I return I usually feel like I have ten out of ten game. This is true, because I am happy because Ryan is ready to distribute some outer game.

Smiling and looking like a model from a Corona ad, sweepings beads of sweat away from my brownish brow deflecting golden rays of sunshine into the surrounding atmosphere, girls involved with this particular Alexander~-Ryan dynamics often mistake Alexander~ for a Christmas decoration.

Inspired by this new shiny and festive season object, the girls often hang one finger from their mouths and drool in what is the initiation towards a fluid transaction.

Like a cold Christmas night, the girls flock around me as I triumphantly lift a beer to my lips like excited children magnetically drawn to long and full socks hanging from a roaring winter fireplace. Soon after, they recognize me from my youtube fame and soon Ryan is forgotten, left out in the winter cold like a silly person who lost their keys to their house.

Perturbed, Ryan found this to be dissatisfactory. He would often think to himself, why does he get beer AND get girls, and have a large and full sock that motivated girls to hang out with him?

A perplexing conundrum.

Little did Ryan know, his enthusiasm was his own bullet wound to the foot. It wasn’t that he was doing anything incorrect; it was that he fell into the trap of Alexander’s~ rhythm once the girl’s projected any attention onto the shiny new object.

This irked Ryan for some time. Especially as he was in a position to learn how to instruct from Alexander~ and the professional dynamics were preset as an alpha-beta, Alex-Ryan learning role play.

Ryan, however, is probably smarter than Alexander~. At this stage Ryan has tens of thousands of dollars less in fines than Alexander~ does, which is an accurate means of measuring one’s intelligence.

Ryan, aware of Alexander~’s comparative intelligence, realized Alexander~ had far too much self esteem because he didn’t use any cognition in field and only, as Ryan describes, ‘thinks with his nuts’.

So Ryan hatched a plan. The shadow lording was becoming too much, and Ryan was getting pissed, and was also evolving into other relationships Ryan had with other instructors such as naturalTim. Ryan figured if he could get Alexander~ to use his brain, then he would get an ego. And then he wouldn’t be such a shiny object to girls but rather a viral piece of cunt to them. Viciously he launched his intellectual plan.

“Alexander~,” Ryan proclaimed, “you are the best in the world”.

“Don’t talk to me” Alexander~ would respond.

“You are the best in the world. All the other instructors have girlfriends now. You are the best in the world”.
Ryan would press on.

Now, at first this made no sense to Alexander~, because he is a man of self esteem and has little cognitive operation in the bar. But, after the seventeen thousandth repetition of this simple message, the rusty mechanisms in Alexander~’s party brain began to slowly turn.

He thought to himself, “Why yes, I do sleep with lots of girls, and I do get lots of comments on the blog. I must be pretty good.” And so it passed, as the dark veil of night fell on that black evening, Alexander~’s “I think I’m the best in the world” ego crawled from the womb of hell.

That night in Sweden, I was a bitch value taker and afraid to get blown out and devalidated.

I was inside my head.

Ryan had stopped taking it, and started giving it. The fucked had become the fucker. Alexander~ was taking it and he didn’t like it.

Ryan laughed, “whor whor whor”, pleased with himself and his un-shadow-lorded sex.

Soon, Alexander~ realized what was going on, and turned the tables again. Ryan tried growing a moustache because he knew that Alexander~ had not yet properly conquered puberty.

Later, Alexander~ and Ryan were found in the corridors of rumination, discussing the see-sawing alpha role phenomenon. It would be decided that no more shadow lording or head fucking should occur.

Then, Ryan and Alexander~ proceeded to pull a stack of girls while flying off solo in different vicinities in the club, bringing them back to the same hotel later on for sexy timez. Sometimes Alexander~ would have to use the bathroom to entertain his guest, sometimes Ryan would. It was the birth of a fruitful dynasty.

Soon afterwards, they would order room service and wear bathrobes.

Alexander~