Alex@RSD samlade artiklar

[TobiasK]

BY Alexander~ | December 16th, 2009 at 8:57 PM
Sydney SUMANOVA Glory
Summer time in Sydney. Deep in the trenches of war of SUMANOVA. Bootcamps every weekend in Sydney Melbourne or Brisbane and mingling with the RSD Australia Royalty.

The set up in Sydney was sick. We had a tight crew. I had my pad, my car and we knew all the venues inside out. Chief, my intern and I were well and truly wining the SUMANOVA battle.

Imagine 35 degree days, beers, bars and tourist girls from the likes of Sweden and Germany. Good times. So good I had to ban myself from going out too much, for fear of wasting too much money on partying and neglecting my RSD writing assignments.

But of course, on Bootcamp I would always go out in full force.

This particular weekend I had some students on Bootcamp, that to this day almost a year later, I consider to be my esteemed friends. Guys who I’d see in field, time and time again after Bootcamp. Two of those guys would make their way to Las Vegas for the hallowed RSD Summit where I shared stories of glory with them as wingmen. Swiftace, Anu~. Vladimir rounded out the crew.

On Friday night of Bootcamp, we ran around tearing up the CHB. It was an awesome night. Vladimir was somewhat of a headache because he was Eastern European and didn’t want to approach, so I had to battle with him all night long. But eventually he broke through, Chief worked with him while I got Anu~ and Swiftace on track.

But the CBH is violence central and in hindsight not a great Bootcamp venue for what I wanted. Though up until that point, that was the best place that I knew. With a hot tip from one of my former students and a guy who would eventually become esteemed RSD Staff (BRAH), we made a historic change of location to what would soon become RSD Sydney’s Bootcamp Headquarters. A location that shall not be named. Its name is too sacred to be pixilated in these mortal halls of RSDNation.

Stepping into the venue for that Bootcamp on Saturday night, Seduction Saturday, I knew that the place would be special. There were no dudes with knives trying to stab each other in the throat. As it turned out, Chief knew most of the security staff. And the bar had wooden floors, a sure sign that it would be an awesome place.

Know this: a bar with wooden floors is a bar that’s good for picking up. I don’t know why. It has just always been that way, probably since the beginning of time.

And there were girls in this place. Lots of hot girls.

Unlike some of the other places where we’d battled with elder birds, angry cliquey boyfriends and lines, the entire place had a friendly, fun vibe to it. A far cry from places like Kings Cross or the dictatorship management of Darling Harbor bars - Bunglechode. This was a field for Nimbus timez.

Looking around I saw there were girls everywhere, tourists speaking in different languages, hot local city living type girls, girls form the upper class north shore, perfect for me and even better for the Bootcamp.

Looking around, I noticed one girl who was hotter than the others. Exotically hot. Aggressively hot. My height, blue eyes golden hair, Barbie Doll face, sparkling eyes and bright white teeth. ‘Turbo Deluxe’ in Tim speak. Fucking gorgeous in Alex speak. You beauty.

I was cruising around getting a feel for the place with Chief when I first saw her. When I first laid eyes on her her, I just stopped. She was standing there all arrogantly, nonplussed over the attention she was getting from yet another pack of random annoying immature guys trying to impress her. Chief noticed her at the same time - his response was something like ‘damn…I’d like to slap that’.

But I’m RSD. In my mind I thought that’s for me. So I said to Chief with self-assurance on a level that only I have, and Probably Tim, “That’s for me”. But I also thought that’s not for me yet! I have Bootcamp to annihilate. Students are always plan A, as much as I could love this stunning goddess.

The students are keen as. After tasting some day game glory, they are straight into their sets, inside, outside, dance floor, smoking zone. Everywhere. Except Vladimir. He’s still crippled by approach anxiety. Vladimir has all the hallmarks of Dracula from Romania. He could be crazy. He could lash out and destroy me. Well, as an instructor that's just something I guess I’m going to have to deal with. He’s going to get good even if I get destroyed.

The coaching dynamics begin. He’s freaking out. A massive guy who could crush the skulls of living men is scared of approaching cute little girls. One of my other students is a virgin and he is on fire. The other student is exhausted from making vigilante (citizen) arrests during the day, but still, he goes to work – entertaining himself and me, trying to convince girls he’s a missionary from the church of Scientology spreading the good work of Alien R. Hubbord. Naturally the girls loved it. Swiftace would go on to close no less than seven girls during his time at the RSD World Summit. RSD Australia represent.

But Vlad still isn’t doing anything. He’s standing there - an imposing figure, scared out of his wits. Time for an intervention. I can’t talk about what I said or did, but I can say I was worried he was going to lose it and take it out on me. But it’s my duty to him to step up and motivate him, even at the risk of my own health. I can’t have graduates of Alex Bootcamps out there in the world sucking in field and being a shit representation of RSD Bootcamp. It’s get good - or get kicked off, refund and all – to face a chode life with no girls. EVER.

After some pushing, and different motivational techniques, Vlad does snap! He goes from being a steely-faced Eastern Block citizen, to a smiley bouncy happy childlike guy. Awesome. He charges up to some girls knocking chodes over as he goes with his iron frame. He yells at them.

“VWELLL HCHELLO, YOU ARE NICE VOMAN, YOU KEN PUNCH IN DJOUR DIGITS IM MINE PHONE!”

He thrust his phone at the cute little girl and she burst out laughing. She asked him where he’s from and what he’s doing in Australia. Vlad is too nervous to deal with this, but he gets the number anyway and runs away back to me. I’m laughing at the absurdity of this and partially from the relief that he has finally cracked for the better.