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BY Alexander~ | May 19th, 2010 at 8:39 PM
Chode’s Night Out and Creepy Guys


Hey dudes what’s up? I’m in Sweden right now, it’s cool. Airlines lost my shit – idiots.

Today I am writing for your help. On Behalf of me and Jeffy, about something that pains all instructors.

Throughout my coaching career I have had so many students ask many good questions. But for every good question I get a stupid limiting belief thrown at me.

As an instructor they are frustrating to hear but no problem to work through. Just a little silly.

From our point of view, you have realize, that every week I get a student saying something like ‘I already spoke to them’, ‘but I don’t know what to say’, ‘I can’t do it’ ‘what angle should I use’ or ‘they won’t like me’.

Please, two generations ago dudes our age died so we can go to the bar to talk to girls. Shut up.Fear is ok, cowardess is unacceptable (C., 2007).

These limiting beliefs are totally true things for the student at the time, we understand that, instilled by conditioning, and a cause of crippling fear. I understand how real they are, but from my point of view it's real fucken silly.

It was once crippling for me too, no doubt about it. But the goal is to transition past it through real life experiences.

Imagine this comparison: you have your computer and mouse and you want to show it to your grandparents because computers and internet is a great thing. But the grandparents say ‘oh no, I can’t do that, it’s too scary’, and you’re all like WTF? Are you kidding me? Girls can be scary if you’re new, sure, but really they’re not.

One weekend that I don’t exactly recall, I had a student refuse to do approaches for two days. Silly. But there was once a time when I felt the same way. In this case it was demo funtimes for me, which brought the student out of his sillyness trance and into the fun of the game.

BUT, he only saw me do good sets – which is what I’m supposed to do, what he was really scared of was the bad reactions.


Of course this instantly gave me permission to entertain myself in whatever way I liked, as long as it was something I could do to get myself rejected.

So I approached some girls asking the time, then started coughing and sputtering telling them that I had recently been diagnosed with, and I quote ‘a transmitted disease’. They looked on stunned and shocked not knowing what to do. No blowout. So I upped the ante. I spat some throat gunk into my hand then reached into my pants and began to rub the throat oyster onto the transmitted disease area.

Blowout. Great success.

Gross though. Ew, in retrospect. But hey, all for the good of the students.

The student, though horrified, was doubled over laughing. Not only was his fear of the blowout gone, he now saw the silver lining. It was fun to fuck around and not take yourself seriously, and with that sort of boundary pushing it’s only going to make you more indifferent. He overcame both the fears of embarrassment and fears of success.

He went on to get his indifference, get results and have a great program.

Next week the students had the same problem. Fear of blowout and screw up. And then the weekend after that.

Then the weekend after that.

Then the weekend after that.

Every weekend the same sillyness of limiting beliefs. A time-consuming legitimate limiting belief that served to slow down bootcamp progress. Something had to be done.

One weekend when I was in Seattle I heard the song, MMMbop by Hanson come over the stereo system. And I thought it was a pretty chode song.

Then I thought to myself, what if I made a video of me being a chode and doing things that might get me blown out to show the students that it’s not only NOT a big deal… but pretty fucking funny as well!

So, I proposed this to Jeffy.

Being such an absurd idea he was enthusiastic. Plus for us it was a good way to vent some of the sillyness of the limiting beliefs that get thrown around by students. So I pulled on a button down shirt, tie, slacks, pink cosmopolitan drink and hobnobbed about in a dive bar trying to be the biggest chode I could.

I tried to get blown out by speaking in a high pitched voice, but to my alarm, I didn’t get blown out. I tried talking about computers and network gaming. Still no blowout. I opened by asking the time. That didn’t go down so well, but not the intense blowout I was hoping for. So we upped the ante. I stood in the corner for ten minutes nursing my cosmopolitan and holding a condom. Trying to get inside my head.

The sheer verbal game wasn’t getting me blown out. So I decided to start falling over. That worked pretty well. One chick swung her handbag at me. Another one called me a racist because I had a New Zealand accent? Wtf? When I fell in front of those girls - and cut my hand pretty badly - they were more concerned that I spilled drink on their shoes than they were that I had fallen from a height and had cut myself open. Good people.

To us it was hilarious. The girls were confused. But ever since, it has served to show students that the whole idea of blow outs is so petty that it’s not worth the excuse or stress.

Take your anxieties and turn them into fun, this is the essence of transformation.

While I’ve included some screen shots of the original chode’s night in this article it’s not something that I could ever put on the internet. Could you image how RSD’s wannabe competitors would jump on it? I can read the articles now: “ALEXANDER~ FROM RSD’S GAME SUCKS AND HE CAN’T EVEN WALK WITH OUT FALLING OVER, WE ALWAYS KNEW RSD WASNT GOOD. AND SHIT”.

The first chodes night out was my maiden foray into filming and editing. Now it’s time to do it again Chode’s night out 2. This time I will use my new affer effects skills and a high definition camera. I will not star in this one, but rather cameo, as will Papa, Jeffy and Tyler. This way we can create a video we can post online and share with the world that risking rejection is no big deal. The fact is, it’s actually hilarious. Just don’t go around deliberately pissing people off. Don’t be a sociopath.

Now, I’m a pretty creative dude – don’t worry about that – so I have some good ideas in mind for this rendition of chodes night out. But I’m asking RSDnation… what instances of embarrassment or rejection are you most scared of?! What would cause you to fear death in a social sitation?! As a committed coach, it’s my job to do it, film it and share it. For you.

What do I get out of it? I share with my students that the risk of embarrassment is no biggie, it’s time to get the fuck over it. What do you guys get out of it? Turning crippling fear into humor and positivity. Another stepping stone in transformation.

Plus it’s fun to do these things, especially with unsuspecting people. The last filming was hilarious. Plus, video production and editing has become a favorite hobby of mine. Especially leading into the Hotseat Seminar future.

So please reply to this article with the chodiest thing you have ever seen community people or normal people do. Urinate in the pants? Chode bling? Someone threw drink at you? It must be conquered… in the name of science. And getting laid. You can trust that Real Social Dynamics will go where you won’t, all to help you learn.

Alex~

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Alexander~ RSD Update: I'm currently living in Stockholm, Sweden running Bootcamps every weekend in Europe. I leave Europe July 7th for Bootcamps all through Canada. July 22nd I leave for two pre-summit Las Vegas Bootcamps. Most of these programs are full or have one seat left.

The topics I will be covering during my world summit presentations are 'One Night Stands', 'The Realm Of Inner Game' and another session sharing 'Stories and Video Highlights' where I will show the kinds of things that can never be put online.

Some of the video's that I will show at world summit are nothing anyone has ever done before, I look forward to a forum where I share them.

After Summit I'm back in Australia for September and RSD HQ is tentatively planning an Alex World Tour for November 2010. This particular tour is still in the works and not ready for announcement but it will include massive value for all involved! Fun for me, good access to my work for students.