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[TobiasK]

BY Alexander~ | May 26th, 2011 at 12:35 AM
The Perfect Approaching Frame! Part One.
Exercise.

Think of the last girl who you had those irrationally strong feelings for. The one who your found yourself day dreaming about. The girls who you’d day dream about, then those day dreams would turn to headaches. The girl who did you head in.

You lie there at night thinking “I wonder what she things of me”, “I wonder what I need to do to get her attention”, “I want to impress her but I don’t want to fuck up.”

The girl on the pedestal.

Of course when you go to approach this girl, if you can muster the balls to approach this girl, your personal anxiety threshold is maxed out and you will either creep her out or totally communicate all the wrong things.

In Hollywood, when the main characters declare their undying love for the object of their affections the harps start up, the cinematography slows down and everyone lives happily ever after.

But in real life, if you have a crush on a girl and then declare it to her in a large gesture of affection and ‘please accept me’ it doesn’t work. We know at Real Social Dynamics, we’ve tried. Personally, I’ve tried this about five times. The fifth occasion being the biggest bust of them all.

In a seemingly completely different context you might not want to approach girls in the club. You don’t know why, but you’re just not motivated. This infliction comes over guys who have proven to themselves that they can approach in a range of different situations, but all of a sudden they just fail to care.

Reason being, those guys look around, but they don’t give a fuck about the girls they might approach. They are not motivated by women anymore. Or, the women don’t give the guy any emotional compulsion whatsoever.

The crush, and the indifference to meeting new people are opposites of the same thing.

Self inflicted emotional attachment.

In a piece of theory lifted directly off Tyler’s Blueprint “love is something that happens inside of your own head.

Think back to the last girl you had on a pedestal, the one who gave you headaches, the one who intimidated you.

Now think back a little further, and remember the time when you first laid eyes on her. What kind of impression did she make on you?

If you were a chode you might have had a little bit of excitement because you saw a girl who actually fit your ridiculous scarcity mindset ‘good enough for me’ criteria.

But she herself didn’t give you any emotions, you just got a little excited.

But otherwise you didn’t really give a fuck about that girl. And why would you yet? She has nothing to do with you.

It’s not until you use your little scarcity mindset to project all kinds of love and daydreams onto her. And of course with that comes all the concern that you don’t ‘fuck up’ around her and the anxiety of making sure you make a good impression. Which will make you her ultimate chode.

So, you had a chance with her, and then you slaughter it with your brain…

Continued part two.

Alex~