Ozzie@RSD Samlade artiklar

[TobiasK]

BY Ozzie | November 25th, 2009 at 9:18 PM
First Approach of the Night Shenanigans
I am used to my first approach of the night opening well and getting comfortable socially right off the bat.

I guess this is a bad habit too.

Last weekend on my first day of program, as I lead off the charge into a crowded night club, my first didn’t go as swimmingly. I approached a 1girl-2guy group and of all things, the girl is the one that is trying to get rid of me. The guys are cool and extremely friendly, re-engaging me but the girl keeps saying for me to fuck off because she was talking to the guys first - what?. Exactly. I hung in there as long as I could, grabbing the girl, holding her hand as I talked to the guys and continually trying to turn it around to no avail. I guess it was my “pickup” ego dictating “you must perform in all situations”, “you must be perfect”, etc. I hung in there for as long as I could, until I proceeded to open an adjacent set that blew right open. It is important to notice how after you have been through some severe plowing, every other set looks easy.

Fast forward to next day. I lead the charge again into a different, but highly challenging night club - way hotter girls, sky high energy, all dance floor, etc. I open my first couple set - guy and girl - despite Goran’s remarks “not to open that set”. I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about - I fade in and out. Well, I found out very quickly what Goran was talking about. The girl was crying and the guy looked extremely sad. I walked into this. Right off the bat, they are extremely emotional both of them like somebody has delivered bad news to them, like a dead relative or something. My guess it was a couple breaking up. Anyway, I plowed on and grabbed the guy, tried to talk to the girl, she can’t talk due to the fact she is crying and shit. Guy is extremely apologetic and politely asks me to give them a minute. I immediately open a 3 girl set sitting down next to them, which blew open right away. I guess it only takes a worst case scenario to kill all your fears and make your next set easier.

I have made a habit of walking into seemingly impossible situations as a cure for all my fears. Later on that night, I walked into a 2 set, again super hot blonde engaged by huge bodybuilding type of dude.

I ignored guy, kept engaging blonde and grabbing her. As the set starts to take off, the guy, sick of being ignored, introduces himself to me. As I say my name to him he blurts out “You are Ozzie from RSD, you are trying to blow me off. That’s so cool!” The guy is a community guy and we start chatting as the blond stands there listening to us talk about RSD and the community and what have you. I give him props for approaching one of the hottest girls in the club that night, etc. This was the last thing in my mind coming in, that I will be “identified”.

The Unexpected

Expect the unexpected and keep going. There is a video in your head about how things must go. If reality doesn’t fit the script, there is a huge breakdown mentally. In social situations, there is no script. One thing I can almost guarantee whatever your script is about how things must go it will be challenged, mostly destroyed by the weight of gravity - the reality of the game. In the same way, reality can exceed your expectations. Things in general go better than expected. Your script might be surpassed by what happens to you. The map is never the territory.

Too many variables to control to even care. As Steven Covey says you must only be concerned with those things that are under your control. This is the essence of “proactiveness” vs. “reactiveness”. Peoples' reactions to you fall under the realm of “out of your control” so why focus on them.

Once Bitten, Twice....

It doesn’t matter how long you are in the field, you are likely to “relearn” your lessons almost every other night. I encourage my students to constantly “recycle” their knowledge by helping others on the forum. I used to do that before I became an instructor for free. It paid for me to help others by constantly recycling things I had learned before. No question in a forum is “retarded” per se; you need to establish where the poster is coming from. That would recycle your knowledge about the situation, I don’t care how newbie the question is. Ignore the negative threads though because there is hardly any value in them.

Also in the field, keep doing those little things that made you successful in the beginning but you don’t want to do anymore because you are “over” them. It is important to remember you are not over anything. Things will come back to you that you thought you had passed, over and over.

Can’t Resist Chocolate

Due to my low carb diet I have huge cravings for sweets during the week. Can’t wait for my carb days which are Friday and Saturday. The other day, I came home and ate all the bonbons my girlfriend was saving for friends. She was pissed. She hides them now.

You can’t resist performing well all the time. It is a drug. Just like chocolate, it gives you a quick high. Keep reminding yourself “You don’t need chocolate”. You can live without it and healthier. Same with perfection, there is no need for it but you crave it.