Ozzie@RSD Samlade artiklar

[TobiasK]

BY Ozzie | July 23rd, 2010 at 10:07 PM
Profile of the Risk Taker
Profile of the Risk Taker

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In This Article
- Definition of a risk taker
- The value of not assuming anything
- How to identify whether you are growing or shrinking in the game
- Psychological safety devices that keep us down
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(This article refers to parts of my new book “The Physical Game” coming out September 1st, 2010)

Profile of the risk taker
1. Do first, ask later.
2. Doesn’t make assumptions
3. Finds out for himself
4. Sees failure as part of the process
5. Try again
6. Never deviates from goals
7. Commits to goals and disregards whether he performs well or not.

The risk taker always walks up to the toughest set around, opens and disregards the outcome. He understands unless he challenges himself he can’t truly get anywhere in the game. Getting somewhere doesn’t mean performing perfectly. A risk taker is after growth. He understands that growth is an uneven process. It is not linear. You grow in spurts. You can spend a long time going after something and nothing happens for a while. You must understand that this is part of growth. You just hit a plateau. Rewards are around the corner if you keep at it.

Never take anything for granted
Pointers when you approach

- Neutrality. Never think it is going to be neither too easy nor too difficult. Understand the self-evident truth that social situations are neutral -- our mind taints them with fear. But you are safe. Nothing bad will happen from a girl dissing or rejecting you. If anything, you will grow.
- Positivity baseline. Never think the guy with her is the boyfriend, the friends will be mean or unfriendly to you. Don’t assume anything. Have a baseline of positivity that things will work out for you no matter what. No need to be Tony Robbins on steroids. Gregarious encounters are neutral so there is nothing to be afraid of. Chill out and enjoy the ride.

Are you growing or are you shrinking right now?

We are in a constant state of flow; nothing in you remains the same. At a specific moment in time, either you are growing or shrinking. One little measuring device is to ask yourself, “Right now, am I growing or shrinking?” and be honest when you answer that.

If you are not growing, it is likely you are not challenging yourself in the field. Then you are shrinking; remember you are never static.

COACH INSIGHT
It is impossible to grow without risk-taking. Risk-taking implies daring yourself to do things you are too scared to do: opening the hottest/toughest set around, going hardcore physical, going for the kiss close etc. You can make a list of “dares” in a club and go after them relentlessly. Once you have gone through your entire list, you will feel powerful. You grew.
Make this your M.O. in the game. Destroy all your personal myths around it. You know the type, “I can’t do this or that”, “It is hard to do this or that” etc. All those limiting beliefs need to be shattered through risk-taking.

Risk taker and rewards
Remember:
Only rewards will come to the risk takers. “Safe players” don’t get rewards. They get punished in the field. A woman doesn’t reward cowardly behavior.

A big payoff comes attached to a lot of risk-taking. Unlike finances, you don’t get paid for being cautious in the field. If at all, a player testing the waters only succeeds at eliciting suspicion in females. Girls ask themselves “Why is he here?”, “What does he want from us?” Like it or not, you will be rejected on principle.

Lose your respect for failure by failing. Failing is never as bad as you thought. It might actually arouse you to have a hot girl telling you off in the middle of the club. I know it arouses me. The way I see it: “I already hit bottom: the hottest girl shoved me off, so it is all up from here.” But that’s just me. I am twisted like that. However, I get big payoffs from this attitude. I am rarely negative in the field. I don’t take rejection personally. I sometimes turn those rejections around by throwing positivity back at them etc. I get a kick out of being challenged. Most people don't.

Psychological safety devices

Perhaps most of your hesitance in this game is a psychological safety device you have been holding on for too long or too strongly. It keeps you from exploring your dreams and passions. Ask yourself “If fear of failure was not a problem, what would I go after in the field?”.

In my weekend live program in field, I tell students that I refuse to do a paint job good for a weekend only. I want them to dig deeper in the course of the weekend within themselves and find what’s holding them back and challenge it. At first they don’t like this because most students look for a magic pill to solve all their problems. As the training commences they start to like the idea of thorough cleansing of their mental cobwebs. They embrace the idea that lasting change must be earned, not given. Freedom will not be given to you; it must be taken. You must go through the process.

Steps to success
- Are you growing or are you shrinking in the field?
- If fear of failure was not an issue, what groups or girls would you go after?
- Are you taking risks in the field or only doing things that feel safe? If you feel safe does it mean you are growing?