Ozzie@RSD Samlade artiklar

[TobiasK]

BY Ozzie | August 31st, 2010 at 4:19 PM
Ozzie's Secrets To Get Physical FAST With Hot Girls


The Fear That Rides Desire

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In This Article
- How to curb fears of approaching women
- How challenges in other areas can be applied to your sex life
- Using research as a tool against fear
- The connection between fears and goals
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You want something but you are too scared to go for it

Fear tells you fight or flight. You want to run in the opposite direction when you want something. Fear of failure rides you. However, deep down you know you can’t get what you want unless you risk failure. Sometimes I feel like AA is just fear of failure. The guy is afraid of looking bad or failing in front of an instructor, friends, strangers or worst, his ego.

A new life plan

I see all kinds of threads about a new living plan like new diet, gym, clean living, etc. Though I think it's great that guys make a new life plan, I also know that it probably took them a while to overcome their fear of going into an uncharted territory like that.

It is scary to set up new goals.

- Fear of the unknown. You don’t know what will happen if you do certain things differently. It might require adjustments in other areas of your life like new schedules, meals, preparation, etc.
- Fear of failure. You are afraid to commit to something and then fail at it. Nothing worse than to look back and find yourself right where you started.
- Fear of negative social consequences. What if others knew and then hold you to your word? What if you decide to drop 10 pounds and then failed and everybody knew about it? You could lose face in front of friends and significant people in your life.

It takes the same courage to approach beautiful girls. Others might laugh if you fail.

How to destroy fear: research

One of the things fear tells you is that you are thoroughly unprepared to undertake the action you want. You don’t know. You will never know. You will never be as good as the successful guys, etc. All bullshit.

When I talked to TD about writing a book, I had no idea how to write a book. I just wanted to write one -- in English!!!. My English grammar sucks; I can’t produce a lot of material -- all kinds of excuses etc. Very quickly Papa sent me a “how-to” book to write a book. Research started. 2 months later I had the outline for my book and 3 chapters... Right now it is ready -- coming out September 1st, watch out! However, fear kept on striking me. Sometimes I just felt I wanted to stop writing and do something else. I am no writer, you know. But I kept going.

When you research you discover the territory you will be walking on.

1) Find out your worst case scenarios. Since fear is usually fear of the unknown, you will destroy it with research. Research and your fear will become less poignant. Research more and you will see that worst case scenarios rarely happen and you will relax. That’s why AA tends to subside after guys find out that there is nothing to fear after a couple of approaches. It actually is pretty simple.

2) Get to know who you are. In your research you should include getting to know you. “Know thyself” seems to be the wisest thing ever said. Get to know your learning style (George Leonard), your fears, and interact with people who have overcome their fears. This is probably all the evidence you will ever need.

Doing one thing you are scared of doing every day

Make sure it's something you want to do or always wanted to do: maybe approaching that hottie on the tube or in the coffee shop, simply doing a public speaking gig or going out alone on a Friday night, even saying “hi” to your neighbor. Whatever. Get in the habit of doing something you want to do every day but won’t because of fear.

Remember:
Sooner rather than later you will find that you don’t need people or so much information or support. You become your own support group. You are independent.

COACH INSIGHT
You will not overcome fear.
It is impossible to erase it. You just get better at dealing with it. It also is a blessing in disguise. It is like a compass that tells you you are riding your true deep-seated desires. All your intimate desires are fear-ridden. It is your job to know yourself. It is essential you let fear guide you to your desires but not overwhelm you. It is bittersweet to find that fear is your ally in this. All those years of trying to overcome it, you realize that it actually tells you something positive about yourself.

Fear is your friend. A radical thought

I am telling you all this from the comfort of my laptop because I am a coward. I am no hero. You could say I am doing a little lip service. I'll give you an example: I was terrified of committing to a relationship. I have been banging girls for years without the slightest thought of committing to a relationship.

Bottom line was I was scared. I was afraid of being hurt, committed, or a painful breakup, etc. It was not my PU persona or ego; it was plain old fear. I kept it simple, just sex. Months ago I moved into my girlfriend’s apartment -- I had no choice since my 2 year lease on my apartment had run out. It was the scariest thing I have ever done. I didn’t want to do it. It took me a lot thinking and I did it on the condition that “We will try this for a month”. Even though it felt like stepping into the unknown for me to make this kind of change, I went for it.

This is why I have no mercy in pushing people out of their various “bridges” into the abyss. I am a coward too. I have to push myself out of comfort zones constantly. Homeostasis works for me too.

Fear tells you you are riding your true desire. All desire comes with a great deal of fear attached to it. Do a little research (not too much) and go for it.

Steps to success
- How would your life change if you were to follow your desires and face the fear that rides them?
- Do you have problems writing down your goals? If so, why?
- Do you know exactly the situations you are avoiding when you don’t approach a girl you like?
- What if those fear scenarios you are avoiding by not approaching were to happen? Would that be so bad?