Alex@RSD samlade artiklar

[TobiasK]

BY Alexander~ | May 24th, 2011 at 1:55 AM
Push Bitch. Absolute chode.
You want to get good at picking up girls? You need to be arousing. You need the girl to react to you more than you react to the girl.

You need to have created a situation where you as a product inherently inspires interest in others. How do you do this?

Pal-ese… yuo sey.



This video makes the point that if you grow, then you are going to be cooler relative to the girl, and when you understand how that growth works, you trust yourself significantly more in social situations, make you less reactive to others, and others more reactive to you.

Internalizing the ideas gives you a strong frame.

The basic idea is that you need to grow more than the girl in order to both be less reactive in more situations and cooler than the girl, thus naturally offering value.

These are called the embarrassment comfort zone and the success comfort zone. See the diagram below.

For the newbie, when he goes to approach the gorgeous female socialite its almost certain that that gorgeous female socialite will have had more emotional disasters and more emotional delights than that wannabe-player.

But in learning natural instincts game through cold approach pick up you seek emotional delight and endure emotional disaster until they come within your comfort zone.

Things that once excited you – starting a conversation with a stranger – becomes ‘within your reality’ making it who you are. The natural experience progress is then, contact exchange then intimacy then who knows.

Things that once embarrassed and scared you – a stranger not paying full attention to you off cold approach – fade into something your indifference towards. Short tempered people overreacting to you for no good reason becomes funny.

That’s why, it’s so important to seek the edge of your comfort zone and explore your unknown. Sooner or later your contextual confidence becomes your core confidence. It gets to a situation where ‘there is no reason why you would have anxiety’ (note the double negative) everywhere. That is core confidence.

But from my point of interest, the enlightened level of pick up – natural game – knowing this dynamics only gives you more trust in what you are doing and self evident growth dynamics. Leading you to better self esteem, self trust and less anxiety.

And a dude with that shit, will have awesome natural instincts game.

Go and meet people,

Alexander~

[TobiasK]

BY Alexander~ | May 26th, 2011 at 12:35 AM
The Perfect Approaching Frame! Part One.
Exercise.

Think of the last girl who you had those irrationally strong feelings for. The one who your found yourself day dreaming about. The girls who you’d day dream about, then those day dreams would turn to headaches. The girl who did you head in.

You lie there at night thinking “I wonder what she things of me”, “I wonder what I need to do to get her attention”, “I want to impress her but I don’t want to fuck up.”

The girl on the pedestal.

Of course when you go to approach this girl, if you can muster the balls to approach this girl, your personal anxiety threshold is maxed out and you will either creep her out or totally communicate all the wrong things.

In Hollywood, when the main characters declare their undying love for the object of their affections the harps start up, the cinematography slows down and everyone lives happily ever after.

But in real life, if you have a crush on a girl and then declare it to her in a large gesture of affection and ‘please accept me’ it doesn’t work. We know at Real Social Dynamics, we’ve tried. Personally, I’ve tried this about five times. The fifth occasion being the biggest bust of them all.

In a seemingly completely different context you might not want to approach girls in the club. You don’t know why, but you’re just not motivated. This infliction comes over guys who have proven to themselves that they can approach in a range of different situations, but all of a sudden they just fail to care.

Reason being, those guys look around, but they don’t give a fuck about the girls they might approach. They are not motivated by women anymore. Or, the women don’t give the guy any emotional compulsion whatsoever.

The crush, and the indifference to meeting new people are opposites of the same thing.

Self inflicted emotional attachment.

In a piece of theory lifted directly off Tyler’s Blueprint “love is something that happens inside of your own head.

Think back to the last girl you had on a pedestal, the one who gave you headaches, the one who intimidated you.

Now think back a little further, and remember the time when you first laid eyes on her. What kind of impression did she make on you?

If you were a chode you might have had a little bit of excitement because you saw a girl who actually fit your ridiculous scarcity mindset ‘good enough for me’ criteria.

But she herself didn’t give you any emotions, you just got a little excited.

But otherwise you didn’t really give a fuck about that girl. And why would you yet? She has nothing to do with you.

It’s not until you use your little scarcity mindset to project all kinds of love and daydreams onto her. And of course with that comes all the concern that you don’t ‘fuck up’ around her and the anxiety of making sure you make a good impression. Which will make you her ultimate chode.

So, you had a chance with her, and then you slaughter it with your brain…

Continued part two.

Alex~

[TobiasK]

BY Alexander~ | June 1st, 2011 at 6:18 PM
The Perfect Approaching Frame! Part Two
In my personal experience I had a crush on a girl for six years. In the meantime, I remember I had ample chances with countless other girls (because I was indifferent, hurrr durrr), which I didn’t take because I was waiting on the (self hypnotized) ‘one’.

Leaving me to think I was a fucking failure, when in reality I was probably just pretty normal guy. It was all self sabotaging thought.

There was once a case when I did in fact get the girl that I had built up to be so massive in my head. For the first month or so I was so excited that I got my ‘dream girl’, but after all the projecting onto her that I had built up in my head, when I actually got to know her she was nothing like I thought she would be. Which turn out to be even more heartbreaking and frustrating. Making me hate myself and people even that much more.

AS you get good at the game you make the shift from thinking that another person will complete you to thinking that you are complete on your own – as you are. At which time you get this massive disappointment in people in general. Usually, that’s the time when the indifference to approaching will kick in.

This phenomenon happens to guys who’ve had some true success, but only just a little bit.

When you step back from the emotions of it all an amazingly beneficial dynamics presents itself.

Guys get disheartened when they get to the stage that ‘they don’t care about getting girls anymore’.

But I am empowered because I’m in the stage that ‘I don’t care about girls anymore.’

So in reality, I can step to any girl with absolutely no outcome dependence!

You’ll get to a stage where you approach so many girls that their so called ‘level of attractiveness doesn’t worry you anymore – as long as you still get visceral physical attraction from the girl – that you don’t get intimidated by hot girls.

You also won’t care about the outcomes you have with these hot girls.

So you shift the attention to yourself.

Once you have these realizations, you become emotionally invincible in the interaction.

Once you realize these things, you have the PERFECT approaching frame.

With no crush, no upfront significant emotional investment in the girl you can say what you want, be honest with yourself and the girl and express yourself freely. Everything you need to perfect natural game.

What then do you do with the interactions?

Well, think of that girl you put on the pedestal. Soon enough if you’re in the close presence of an attractive girl you simple emotions begin to kick in and you begin to see the girl as attractive, and your motivations to escalate also naturally kick in. Your blueprint works for you and the interaction should go well.

What then of caring about girls?

Again, reference the girl you put on a pedestal. It takes time to care about someone. If you were to see this girl a few times, I you were to sleep with this girl, all the while you are becoming more emotionally invested in her. It’s just that this way, from the abundance mindset approach, the emotional investment happens at a slower, more realistic healthy rate. It leads to relationships – if there person is likable. And the truth is you will click with some, and you won’t click with some. That’s life.

Either way the pressure’s off you and you have the abundance to play the game to the hilt.

Last thing though. What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream? Say it out loud.

You only know that is your favorite flavor after sampling many different flavors.

It’s the same with the women that you meet, make harmony with the idea that you’re not going to intensely love the people you’re only just meeting – but you can certainly enjoy them all.

After a while, when you have abundance, you can choose which flavor you want to stick with.

If you want to be good at picking up girls, close first, discriminate later.

Alexander~
Executive Coach
Australia & Europe
http://www.alexattitude.com

[TobiasK]

BY Alexander~ | June 20th, 2011 at 10:06 PM
Some Essential NEW Field Guides for Natural Game; Notes.

Hey-hey, I’m in the sky somewhere over Poland. Good air for thought, so here some idea’s that have been percolating in my mind and serving me very, very well recently.

When I first started with the game there were a few well known principles that we’re shared by everyone in the community. These rules dictated the budding player’s cognition while in the field, rules of thumb that would guide and drive their behaviors and responses.

Some of those rules still serve me well, some aren’t relevant and others are absurd.

When I go into field nowadays I have a couple of essential rules of principle that I bear in mind to guide my behaviors and responses. After years of experiences and literally thousands of successes following these principles I’m confident enough to share the notes with you. And when I say notes, I mean the first published version of these ideas that will no doubt evolve in definition and explanation when they are made public. When they are questioned or RSDNationers’ seek understanding of them it will give me feedback on better ways to explain the ideas in the future – but we have to start with the raw notes.
So these are some brief ideas that drive my behavior when I’m in the field, all generated behaviors and all real-time (in the moment) responses are filtered through these things. Digest and use.

1. I am enough. I have been in the game long enough to understand the in and outs of the social scene. I’m kidding myself if I think there is anything or anyone I can’t handle in the bar. Truth is, the bar is not a Rubik’s cube, its for relaxing. It’s a bar in the western world. I’m a pussy if I’m going to let anything concern me.

2. It’s going to be fine. I don’t need to be proactive about pick up, I get it, I can talk, I have a personality and a strong reality. I don’t need to ‘sarge the venue’. Just because I am there I can rest assured - or trust myself - that something is going to happen. And when it does, I’m going to make the most of it.

3. Expect nothing. I manage my expectations so that I expect nothing. Results, hot girls, excitement, embarrassment and self entertainment rock – but I don’t need them, they’re all stimulating bonuses. This way I NEVER risk violation of my expectations and never experience a bad feeling in social situation. I have a little mantra to get me going every night ‘if it can be done – I can do it’. That way I’m nicely positively delusional, and risk no emotional downs if things don’t work out. Hey, if it couldn’t be done – then it couldn’t be done, ah well.

4. Take initiative. It’s likely that I’m going to be so relaxed in the bar that I might even get too relaxed! So I need to talk to people and tune into my amusement radar and follow what I think is fun and funny – and chop out anything that I think is boring. But I like to keep a special eye out for things that I think are so boring they are funny. If I notice myself becoming bored I need to start exploring my own personality, amusement and other people more. Modes of conversation, antagonism, tension and playfulness are all things that will amuse me for sure.

5. I bear in mind my four skills of pick up. Elsewhere I have written these down in detail in better semantics. But I don’t want to be focused on the technical when reminding myself to stay on the right track. In terms of my ‘skill-set’ all I remind myself of is ‘do shit’, ‘deal with shit’ and ‘be physical’ those things alone will win the game for me. The fourth is I need to remember not to rush things because time is my ally.

6. Enjoy the girls, don’t get too sidetracked otherwise you’ll kick yourself later for not following though on the interaction and instead talking about funny shit with your friends. Stop, soak up the beauty, remember the simply glorious pleasure that women’s company and intimacy gives me and allow it to change my state into a more sexual and encourageable state – then let the social dynamics work to my advantage.

Some of these things I do indeed think about consciously to snap me back from my daily grind into my pick up mindset that I’ve developed and sharpened over many years.

But for the most part the basic themes are of self trust and fun. To make things even simpler – I just have to be there to make things work!

These are my true mindsets in the bar, and when I really switch on, things can be devastating.

One day I’ll write books (I have up to three all mapped out chapter by chapter with stories) will all the effects of these mentalities. But for now, use them as best as you can. If you’re not yet in congruence with these ideas, the best way to get them is to adopt them as your own.

Get into it!

Alexander~
Executive Coach
Australia & Europe
http://www.alexattitude.com

[TobiasK]

BY Alexander~ | July 4th, 2011 at 3:17 PM
The Natural Instincts Method
Yo.
If I were to read though RSD nation as a newbie it would take me a long time to figure out exactly what I supposed to be tangibly doing to pick up girls off cold approach.
For my own personal mind map I have very simple combination of mindset and skills that I remind myself of that drive the social dynamics that make cold approach pick up work. These Mindsets and skills are what I and my most successful wingmen use at this stage of the game because it has consistently produced the best results. These mindsets and skills are what I teach to students on bootcamp to ensure they get as good as possible as quickly as possible.
Cold approach pick up goes against your daily social conditioning and against the conditioning that the girls you want to talk to are subjected to everyday. Cold approach pick up is a skill that transcends the forces of social conditioning so it is something you actively have to do to be good at it. In having a set of skills and mindsets to work by it will shape your efforts and focus and keep you on the right track.
Having a unified set of skills and mindsets to work with also allows for peers to work together and give subjective feedback to each other, instead of each individual guys being as unsure about what is right and wrong as the next. When on a Bootcamp it’s our professional role to subjectively keep the students and assistants applied to the skills and mindsets all in an effort to counteract social conditioning and give great pick up results.
When I sit down to watch my own infield videos I hear myself almost automatically reminding myself of the set skills and mindsets like a pre-flight check list. The times when I don’t apply myself to these ideas I find myself kind of lost or out of social rhythm torn between being stifled and trying to do something that I’m not quite sure of, leaving my efforts misdirected and me frustrated.
These skills and mindsets have been tested on hundreds of Bootcamp students and used personally by me for over two years to give the most efficient success. There have been older models of basically the same ideas, but over time the semantics have evolved to make the ideas more versatilely applicable in more situations. That is to say, the broad titles given to the skills and mindsets are carefully chosen to shape your behaviour but still allow space for a personal style of the skill to evolve in each individual guy.
The skills and mindsets also cohere with Foundations, The Blueprint Decoded and work in perfectly with the practical ideas presented in Transformations, The Jeffy Show, The Flawless natural and Ozzie’s Physical Game book. They skills are just distilled to be the most evolved practical interpretation that still allow for active thinking and application making you a natural Alpha male. As opposed to a followed of method which makes you a Beta Male or sociopathic.
While it will take some time to adopt the ideas and skill presented don’t stress. If you go to the gym and eat the right food you CAN’T AVOID getting stronger and becoming leaner. If you follow the skills your mindsets will become true, if you meditate on the mindsets your skills will work better. As so it goes on the congruence changing transformation process.
This mindset and skillset combination is totally relies on the assumption of you being able to least comprehend the idea that ‘you are enough’ that is you are naturally attractive just because you are a (hygienic) human guy. If you can’t comprehend this blindly trust what I have laid out for you and watch as you magically begin to see ‘that this can actually be true’ then later feel that you really are ‘I am enough’.
For verification, this method has worked successfully in over one hundred consummated interaction personal reference points. As in, when reflecting what made my closing interactions work it came back to the following mindsets and skillet that were causality for my successes. This method has also been observed successful interaction consummations first hand by me in over 150 instances by Bootcamp students, social friends and Bootcamp assistants. There have been countless times where I have observed interaction failure due to a lack of coherence to these ideas, deductively confirming the mindset/skillset combination’s validity.
But most importantly I have ten recorded scenarios where you can see these skills tangibly working and causing success. Recordings were first used to formulate the combination of mindsets and skills, and once the formulation was clear it was deliberately implemented to cause success in more interactions. The recorded interactions took place in Australia (same accent), Sweden and The United States. The age of the girls interacted with ranged from 18 to 29.
There is a lot of verification and testing that takes place before an implementable ‘method’ can be published.
In short, the three active skills you need are to be able to talk, beat tests and escalate. Give the escalation its due time and the dynamics should work well.
I call this the natural instinct method because it’s something a non-socially successful person can consciously adopt to combat their social conditioning until this method blends into who they are and they come back into congruence with natural Alpha-Male behaviours. At that stage the method runs itself, even though you may need to remind yourself of what you need to do form time to time.
The Alexander~ RSD 2010 Infield Video
It’s not just a method, but a guide for transformation.
You’ll notice that the method itself is exceedingly simple – that’s the idea. I will expand on every single one of these mindsets and skills in future in in-depth articles.
Enjoy the method, enjoy meeting girlsand enjoy your time with them.
Alexander~ RSD
*****************************************************************************************************
The Natural Instinct Method
~ I am Enough. ~
- The true indication of interest (IOI) in natural game is when the girl gives you a ‘quiet and attentive’ reaction.
- Aim to be arousing, not attractive.
1. Create Initiative (Talk A Lot)
· Express a full range of emotions. You are arouse others by contrasting different emotions against each other.
· By expressing what you like, and expressing your personal boundaries you will naturally expressing a full range of emotions and be infinitely arousing.
· A good way to practise expressing a full range of emotions is to use words like ‘hate’ and ‘love’.
· Be impulsive, spontaneous, creative and unpredictable.
· Use a balanced combination of questions and statements, over time this will become natural.
· Too many nice emotions makes you a nice guy, too many negative emotions makes you an asshole. A combination makes you positive assertive, a nice guy with personal boundaries or an ALPHA MALE.
· Use ideas like plotlines, stories, cold reads and misinterpretations to facilitate expression.
· It’s much better to make verbal mistakes and be natural, than to be verbally perfect and unnatural. JUST TALK, work with what you’ve already said, don’t plan what you are about to say.
2. It’s Not What You Do, It’s What You Deal With – That Creates Good Interactions (Endure Tests)
· Its impossible to impress someone with what you say, you can only make an impression if you don’t let yourself get socially ‘pushed around’
· The true Demonstration of Higher Value (DHV) in natural game is when you endure/beat/pass a test.
· Cool people don’t demonstrate how cool they are, it becomes apparent over time – tangibly by beating tests.
· Enduring testing social situations gives the set a longer lifetime, the longer the set, the more arousal you give the girl, the better the result.
· Some basic example responses of ways to beat social tests:
o ‘Irrelevant’ (Credit Jeffy)
o ‘By that you mean something else’
o ‘I love you’
o ‘Relax’
o ‘Its all good/its fine’
o Ignore and keep talking
· Any time you endure a new social pressure or test (either a new success or a more intense embarrassment) you grow. Besting testing situations are the key to personal growth and self actualisation.
· If you fail four tests in a row and you are still being told to go-away or fuck off, then it’s time to move on, but it’s within social norms to persist up to four times and it be ok.
· There are both positive and negative tests, keep going when situations look negative and keep going even if things become uncomfortably positive. The longer the set the deeper the connection with the girl (or friend) and the better the pick up result.
· Each time you beat a test you expand you reality and become more comfortable in a wider range of situations, being more comfortable means more personal relaxation and more influence of arousal onto others.
· Beating tests are the tangible actions to personal transformation. Exactly like working out in a gym, endure stress in on instance to become stronger in the next.
· BE UNAPOLOGETIC – you are not doing anything morally or socially wrong, so don’t be in any way sorry for anything you do. Unapologetic is the key to becoming ‘cool’
3. It Doesn’t Matter Which Moves You Make, It Just Matters That You Are Making Moves. (Physically Escalate)
· Physical interaction is arousing
· Physicality will generate tests which you can beat and DHV
· Use a combination of escalation and push, sometimes intensify the physicality, others times let it fall away. All one time of physicality is predictable and therefore not arousing.
· The goal of the interaction is physical rapport, not sex on the floor in the bar, build physical comfort in the interaction so that you will be comfortable enough to spend time together later on a meet up or on the same night.
· Make out’s are not good for the pick up part of the interaction, but they are good for gathering new experiences, save the make outs until escalation can be taken much further.
· Four moves to facilitate smooth escalation are;
o Jewellery inspection
o Shoulder Push
o Brush and Lead
o Neck Kiss
· Bring the girl into your space, don’t invade hers, leading not intimidation.
(4.) Time Is Your Ally.
· Assume that it was take several hours before you have sex with a girl, trust that things will work out better the longer you are in the interaction.
· Follow the two hour rule, no pressure or outcome dependence for the first two hours
· If you are going to consummate an interaction on the first night its most likely going to happen around dawn, so no rush, embrace the moment at hand and let time do the work for you.
· Don’t rush yourself, the night or your girl, if you have it in your mind that ‘you are enough’ the relationship you are building with the person you have approached will naturally strengthen with time.

[TobiasK]

BY Alexander~ | October 12th, 2011 at 7:42 PM
The Way To Use Your Phone, The Way That Phone Game Works Series! 1
This is a set of ideas on phone game that have been in circulation since 2008. I ask all my students on bootcamp and during workshops if they’re familiar with my phone game article and almost everyone says they’re not. So I’ve taken the time to re-edit the article and update it and bring it main stream to the main forum so everyone has a though easy to use guide to phone game.

This article is designed to help you understand what it takes to go from the pick up itself to the meeting. It includes the dynamics that drive a successful transition from meeting to meet up and the part that your phone, facebook and text messages play.

Like all my articles I write this assuming that you are getting close to the congruence that ‘you are enough’, implying that you are naturally attractive – or at least you think that way.

The ‘I am enough’ mindset makes you the highest value person in your reality. Others around you play subordinate roles in the highlight reel that is your life. You focus on yourself first to make yourself a valuable entity and connect with people through your positive influence on them.

Remember when we talk natural game I can’t stress strongly enough the reiteration of the GOLDEN RULE.

“Whatever you feel, she feels.”

Whenever you have an influence on a girl’s reality, her perceptual experience of the world, what you feel will play a big part in determining what she feels.

If you’re a cool carefree guy who is firm in his belief that ‘you are enough’ you always feel good, because you draw state from within and you can live in the moment stress free.

You’re a man who has the unique ability to draw state from within. If not, stop being the victim, and take responsibility of your state. Start looking on the bright side.

You are at the helm of your own reality, steer it in a constructive direction and others will follow.

Referring to the interaction itself, I used to hear a lot of girls use the terminology ‘you’re in’, which means that the girl likes you and is interested in getting to know you. If you’re a guy who gets social dynamics ‘you’re in’ is quite common.’

‘You’re in’ means that she considers you a sex-worthy guy.

Once ‘you’re in’ it’s only a matter of time and logistics until physical intimacy occurs. Whether or not this intimacy ever arises depends on your dedication to the interaction, how far you’re willing to take it.

A lot of guys don’t even call the number, make the effort to set the date, endure flakes, or go on a second date to encounter the physicality. With the phone game and dating game the responsibility for things moving forward need to be facilitated by you – the guy.

Whether I’m interacting in person and on the phone at no there is no reason for me to ever compromise my mindset that ‘I am enough’. Why wouldn’t I? I offer value, don’t take value without returning it and I’m usually fun and arousing to be around, results of my initiative.

Strong perception equates to strong reality, so spread the love.

Furthermore this means staying true to yourself and not attempting to ‘work’ the people you hang with. When I talk to old ladies consistent, when you talk to turbo club bitches hold your frame and your sense of self be will communicated and accepted.

Strong perception equates to strong reality, the good influence.

As for the phone game itself the underlying factor that will define you phone game success is succinctly the following:

“The key to good phone game is a good interaction” RSD, 2005.

Good phone game isn’t something that happens on the phone, it’s something that happens in the field. It happens in person.

What makes a good interaction?

For an interaction geared solely towards the intention of a later meet up there are a few misconceptions that will be cleared up below.

And of course this info is a guide and collective experience and there are always exceptions to the mainstream trends.

But understanding what works will help you to adjust your interactions to increase you meet up to conversation rate.

An interaction that is most likely to yield a day two meet up is usually a low energy, low sexuality low fireworks affair.

It’s generally short in duration and doesn’t leave the girl with a conclusive impression of you but rather leaves her wanting to know more about you. So keep it simple.

It generally doesn’t involve excessive physical escalation.

Makeouts on the first interaction are usually detrimental to the prospects of the date.

Picture a chill comfortable light hearted anticipation building interaction in a low energy environment. A social meeting that inspires curiosity and mutual respect.

However this scenario is rare in an intense club setting. But it’s not so uncommon earlier on in the night before energy levels spiral out of control or much later on after the club environment, maybe in a diner or food venue. The smoking area is also a good chill place to have good solid interactions...

Continued parts 2,3,4,5,6 and 7.

Alexander~
alexattitude.com/

[TobiasK]

Pick Up Girls. Real Social Dynamics. The Keys To Control; The Checklist That Makes You Attractive
Exciting times for me now that I’m back here in Australia! I’m moving into a place with Natural Tim himself of http://www.dosomethingrad.com fame. I’m working on starting a hobby photography company, and with some consistency in my lifestyle I’ll finally have an opportunity to start writing my program and books ready for release next year. Europe was grand, but now it time to get back to business.
Today I come at you with some practical tips that you can implement immediately to get significantly better results at the bar or during the day.
First, the purpose of the practical tips. To reiterate, your goals in reading this site is to improve your pick up ability, you want to be able to inspire attraction in girls. To inspire attraction in girls you must take actions that cause you to be relaxed. There are things we know that you can to do to achieve ‘being relaxed’, things you can continually do to control how you feel, and therefore, maintain being naturally attractive.
The the actual process you need to go through to achieve natural attraction in field is;
-Relax, Monopolise Your Emotions, Express yourself (emotional sharing/emotional influence/ flirting/ causing arousal), girls are aroused by you (attraction/stimulated/excited/interested), be a consistent cause of arousal over an extended period of time(interaction), girl gets triggers that she is attracted to you, girls wanted to spend more time with you in an isolated situation, you get the girl.
Your goal, what you want to do, is to be the source of a girl’s arousal. In other words, you are interesting to her, then exciting to her, then she feels a connection with you (interacting for an extended period of time), add physicality (‘kino’ or physical interaction) and she will becomes physically aroused by you (turned on).
The first step in this goal is to ensure that the girl is reacting to you, NOT YOU REACTING TO THE GIRL. If you are getting a lot of instant disinterest or if you are getting a lot of blow outs it will most likely be because the girl can see(feel/sense/detect your vibe) that you are reacting to her.
In simpler terms, if the girls are NOT reacting to you, and you are reacting to them, they will immediately categorise you as an UNATTRACTIVE GUY and they wont even give you a chance. This instantaneous judgement is based solely ON YOUR VIBE.
So, anxiousness, tension, stress, or a feeling of acute social pressure equates to perpetual failure when practising cold approach pick up.
(Excitement, anticipation, heightened sensitivity, riskiness and ‘butterflies’ are similar emotions that will usually be present during approach and interaction. The Difference between a GOOD VIBE and a BAD VIBE is if you are UNAPOLOGETIC (not sorry for wasting others’ time) or not)
Anxiousness, tension, stress, or a feeling of acute social pressure triggers a girl’s ‘unattractive guy’ radar instantly and results in short answers, obvious disinterest, running away, laughing at you or saying things like “I’m not interested” before you can even hook the conversation.
If you are going through the transformation process of maturation from socially anxious guy to socially comfortable guy you simply have to face these situations head on. Just approach and expand your comfort zone so that approaching people and running conversations lies within your comfort zone causing no anxiety, and therefore, no instantaneous bad categorisations(bad first impressions) by the girls you approach.
On any given night you can do a few approaches and cross a social indifference threshold. At the start of the night you carry anxiety and receive ‘disinterest responses’. After a few approaches your comfort zone settles down and you discontinue to communicate anxiety, causing people to comfortably open with much more consistency. Your indifference threshold(comfort zone) will settle quicker with each night of experience you have.
IT IS EXTREMELY important to acknowledge the times you cross YOUR indifference threshold (comfort zone) so that your mind can become familiar with the idea of having no anxiety. Acknowledging your good experiences to your self expands your comfort zone giving you the best mileage from the efforts you are making to go out and become better at cold approach pick up.
After a period of years you will never have any social anxiety ever. Until you reach that point you will usually have minor anxiety as if you were going to jump off a high platform into a pool, but once you make that first jump the anxiety fades and follow efforts become easy. When you really master the game, you are like a professional diver and hold no anxiety whatsoever when making the jumps.
Its really important to realise that you don’t combat negatively transmitted anxious vibes through energy or getting pumped up. Overcoming ‘being inside your head’ by being extremely extroverted(yelling screaming, drawing massive attention to yourself, being overly energetic, grabbing strngers in an aggressive way, being a general dickhead) can work momentarily but invariably crashes as quickly as it it was built up.
Even just thinking about these behaviours causes me stress.
Stress IS a vibe of anxiety. Being pumped up and extroverted can be momentarily engaging, but this mode makes it very difficult to keep an interaction going for longer than 20 minutes, let along keep the interaction going over the course of the night. Beware of the visible responses you get from girls when you get pumped up. If your looking for those visible reactions its a sign that you lack security and self trust. Refer to the natural instincts method (NATURAL INSTINCTS METHOD) and remember that a girls’ ‘quiet and attentive’ reaction to you is the true indicator that you are inspiring attraction during your interactions.
The answer then is to become relaxed. The relaxed vibe brings you back to your default state; a positive chilled out vibe. Having the positive vibe has girls automatically categorising you as an ATTRACTIVE GUY solely from your approach. You make a good impression before you even start your conversation.
Instead of being anxious, you want to become relaxed enough you become socially indifferent to the point of boredom. Through boredom you feel compelled to take initiative by doing things like starting conversations, talking to (flirting with) girls and meeting new people with the intention having fun and generating self amusement. Being in a mood that automatically(naturally) causes the same good emotions (WHATEVER YOU FEEL THEY FEEL) in others. If you are the cause of arousal in a girl, then the girl will be attracted to you.
How do you obtain and retain being relaxed?. The answer is in understanding the keys to control.
Consciously remembering to do things that interrupt bad habits have a physiological effects that lead to relaxation. Once relaxed you can control your expression and achieve arousal (attraction).
In learning pick up, you can instantly control what you focus your thoughts on and choose which behaviours you implement. To make a full transformation (congruency shift) you need to align thought, behaviour AND emotion. By doing certain actions, and focus on learned thoughts you expose your emotions to new experiences which reinforce what you are thinking and how you are behaving making you more familiar with the new emotional stats that you seek to internalise. Becoming more familiar with emotional states is to ‘bring them within your comfort zone’ thus changing your emotional congruence; this is transformation.
The keys to control behaviours are physical things you can do that change your physiological state, which change your emotional state. Controlling your emotional state allows you to take control of your thoughts and actions. If you can control thoughts and actions socially you can have good social skills, strong frame and congruence. The keys to control are the root cause of coming into congruence with being naturally attractive.
Here are the physiological adjustments in video reference form;
For text reference lets go over the physiological keys of control in list form
Honour The 2 Hour Rule “2HR” (2 HOUR RULE ARTICLE)
Your first priority when you go out is yourself. The bar is the temple of relaxation, designed for you to have a good time, enjoy music and interact with gorgeous girls. Unwind first. The bar is your holiday zone, not the work zone. Like the movie inception, if you take your time to unwind you will find yourself in that great social mood without exactly knowing how you got there. Relax and know that the right social mood will invariably come to you.Ensure That
Your Weight Is Balanced Through Your Heels, Not The Balls Of Your Feet.
The fastest most effective way to correct your vibe is to change the way you balance your weight. A low value person tends to lean forward for fear of people walking away or not being paid attention to. A high value person goes at their own pace, leans back and uses social situations to unwind and relax. Leaning forward send uptight negative vibes, leaning back radiates relaxed, positive easy going vibes.
Ensuring that you balancing your weight through the heels of your feet releases the tension in your shoulders. This allows you to speak slowly, clearly and with more resonance. Weight though heels causes you to conceptually “take up more space” and gives you a feeling of freedom to take up more space while expressing yourself.
Leaning forward constricts your speech, expression and accumulates negative vibes. A high centre of gravity and tension in your shoulders and chest leads to a negative visceral effect on your which gives you an unnecessary urgent sense of social pressure. This effect can cause ‘urgent thinking’ resulting in you overthinking about what you say causing you to ‘run out of things to say’ or saying uncreative, unnatural stupid things.
Note****** Girls wear high heels in many social situations. This can have negative physiological effects that causes them stress and some of the negative traits that I have mentioned here. Try standing and communicating as though you were wearing high heels. Don’t ever be impatient with girls if they appear to be stressed towards you, its your job to be relaxed enough to make them feel comfortable(relaxed) with you.
Tapping Your Feet.
In any social Situation there will be music which is designed to get people to loosen up and begin to have fun. Compare reciting the words “hi, my name is XXXXX, nice to meet you” once while you are standing still and once while you are tapping your feet. Notice that the included tapping sets your entire physiology alight putting you into a good mood. You should instantly notice that by including foot tapping into you physiology you smile while you speak and your eyes light up while you express yourself. In my opinion, your primary source of good feelings come through your own initiative, and ‘getting into’ the music of the venue by tapping your feet is the kind of initiative that causes you to feel good, unwind and have you relaxing into your comfort zone ready to start approaching and having fun on a night out doing cold approach pick up. I know that Jeffy and I both tend to tap our heels not our feet to get our initiative and good mood going, but do whatever feels good for you personally.
There there are more basic ideas like stopping to take deep breathes from time to time. Stretching your arms out to take up space and release endorphins. Bouncing up and down on your feet or dancing – motion is emotion. Talking to people. Singing and dancing.
PLEASE REMEMBER… the goal of all of this is not to get pumped up. The goal is to relax. Being relaxed and unwound is a solid and stable thing where you are in control. Being relaxed has been understood with terminologies such as STATE, nimbus, being in the moment, being in the zone or whatever. Furthermore, the goal isn’t to build social momentum, that too is an unstable thing that can easily be lost. Instead you goal is to be unwound, which is much more obtainable and sustainable. A girl unconsciously responds automatically well if you have LOW ANXIETY in your emotional communication during your approach and during the times she gives you the inevitable non-compliance tests early in every interaction. Being relaxed (not in state) and being unwound (not social momentum) are too ways to minimalize emotional anxiety. These principles and terminologies make for easier mental pathways to obtain and retain the low emotional anxiety that you need to have and retain low anxiety in the set for you to be good at Natural Instincts Game.
Being Relaxed gives you monopoly over your emotions with which you can use your emotions to be influential and expressive. You can be the source of the reactions (influence and being arousing (attraction)) not being reactive to others’ around you.
From time to time everybody negatively reverts backward into an uptight anxious emotional state. This happens to everyone including instructors. When this does inevitably happen, manage it. Remember that it’s un unavoidable part of the game that you just have to be prepared for. Don’t even try to defend yourself against the inevitable. Instead just stop, remind yourself that the goal is to be relaxed and go through the check list I have talked about in the video and the notes above. I for one will say that I feel uptight and a bit pissed off. I go for a quick walk, get a drink, take a deep breath, alter my physiology into an arrangement that makes me feel better, give myself some time and before I know it I’m back in the mood of RELAXED AROUSAL that has worked for me and others’ hundreds of times in the past.
Relax, and if you’re not familiar with being relaxed, follow my instructions.
Alexander~
Executive Coach
Real Social Dynamics

[TobiasK]

Pick Up Girls: Real Social Dynamics. Physical Rapport; Cease To Be A Freak, The Fastest Way To Get Girls.
Got a nice little video from Japan here about the idea of Physical Rapport, I’ve also included some pictures of my times in Japan. I had a supreme experience in Japan with the Japan RSD crew, Bombastic 2.0 on the forums is our go to guy there now. It’s a 12 girls a month city, a nice combination of models from Europe, tourists from Australia, and of course, the unique Japanese girls. See some of the Japanese times @ 2.24’ mark in the 2010 video.
On the surface Japanese culture seems to be very introverted. Once you become embedded in the nightlife you realise the people are just as sexual as any other culture on earth. The Japanese cultural experiences lead to me a new idea: Physical Rapport.
The purpose of Physical Rapport is to give the girl the ‘inception’ phenomenon where the girl forms her own idea (impulse/feeling/intention/desire) that she wants to move the interaction forward towards sex with you. This is the fastest way to convert cold approaches into sex (getting the girl). Getting the girl is easiest done once the girl has made her own decision that she wants to hook up with you. Therefore, make this your focus for the most effective way to pick up girls from cold approach.
Tokyo Physical Rapport
Physical-Rapport-style physical interactions with girls during cold approach pickup is a dynamic with intention to draw the girl into the ‘inception’ idea. Beyond this ‘inception’ idea, practising Physical Rapport causes many other deeper understandings of interactions with girls, bring you into congruence with “I am enough” and helps you develop abundance.
Physical Rapport is a component of the Alexander~ RSD Natural Instincts Method (Natural Instincts Method). I make reference to dynamics in that article throughout the explanation of Physical Rapport, if something doesn’t make sense re-read that article. Other principles will be written about in depth later. I’ll add links to articles about ancillary topics if you need deeper explanation. Some of those articles exist but others don’t yet exist and will be empty links that will become active once their respective articles have been posted in the future. If there are any questions or clarifications needed in the meantime please ask in the comments section below. I am obliged to answer.
With Physical Rapport I intend to teach you something new. In introducing these new ideas and repercussions I will continually compare new ideas to socially-conditioned and game-theory conditioned ideas about physical interactions you might have in order to relate to your understanding and contrast methodologies.
Physical Rapport is way of physically interacting with girls form cold approach that creates a frame of anticipation and excitement. The purpose of physical rapport is to create a physically comfortable relationship with the girl in a social space so that she would be comfortable to spend time with you later in an isolated space. It’s controlled and limited physical escalation that leaves the girl wanting more. Physical rapport is a form of physical escalation that allows you interact with many different girls in a social space while not being considered a player. Physical rapport gives you the opportunity to create social abundance discontinue intensive confrontational escalation that might alienate people.
Physical Rapport interaction moves include handshakes, shoulder touching, hand leading, hand games, the claw, hugs, standing in each other’s space and sitting in each other space. That is all you need to have good physical interactions with a girl. You can include other aggressive physical interaction as intermittent physical expressions in the interaction for fun, but not to cause the girl to be attracted to you or give you attention. You will have significantly better interactions if you use a small amount of physicality over a long period of time than an intense amount of physicality in a small amount of time. You can amass more arousal (attraction) with smaller physical arousal over a long period of time than if you use a massive amount of physical arousal that might scare the girl away and end the interaction.
The biggest shift that I want you to get from using physical rapport is to become non-polarising. With aggressive physicality you can easily make girls defensive and scared. With Physical Rapport you never do anything that might cause girls to have a bad reaction to you like running away, thinking you are creepy or becoming defensive.
If you are going to be going out in the same place over and over you want to build long term abundance. With physical rapport you have interactions that either create connection or have potential to create connection later. Due to logistics sometimes you simply can’t get a good conversational connection in a club or bar. If you become aggressive (negative/frustrated/desperate) you can burn potential connections. If you can’t make a connection on the first attempt make the same approach again and again until you get that connection. That way you don’t do anything wrong and there is never a reason to be received negatively by girls.
From a girl’s perspective on your first approach attempt she will think you are just like any other drunk guy trying to get laid and ignore you or blow you off (unless you beat the test formalities and get through the first time). If you don’t react she won’t have any reason to think badly about you. If you do this a couple of times without ever becoming negative (aggressive/frustrated/desperate) and you keep your chill fun vibe regardless of what happens (I am enough frame) she will eventually come around and open up to make the connection.
I’ve literally heard girls say this about my students; “I have spoken to that guy four times, he’s never been weird, he’s calm, he can talk to everyone around here and everyone is cool with him – I’m cool with him, because he never got upset or reactive because of the way I behaved towards him.”
On the other hand if you do use aggressive physicality you can make girls very defensive and evasive towards you. If you were to try to reapproach a girl that you had failed to open with aggressive physicality she would have a strong negative emotional avoidance towards you. The point is, it’s almost impossible to reapproach a girl who you over escalated and freaked out and much better to keep it cool and give it a chance again later.
There are some occasions where aggressive physicality is appropriate; learning, physical expressions, decisive pulling at the end of the night and ‘beastmode’. Using physical rapport is a solid way of interacting with the girls, a of low risk-low loss methodology whereas aggressive physicality is not as solid, more high risk-high loss.

[TobiasK]

When you are learning game you have to gather new references experiences to expand your reality and make you comfortable to do anything in a social situation. At times aggressive physicality is very useful in the interaction so you need to make yourself comfortable with it and familiar with co-ordination of physically performing the action. Knowing the boundaries of physical confidence and escalation can be best learnt on a Bootcamp (Bootcamp Information Page).
You can use aggressive physicality as expressions that spike arousal (attraction) for fun at sporadically during the interaction. Physical expressions must be used sparingly, I’ve seen many guys led to believe that the more they escalate the more the girl with like them – this is not the case. The more you escalate the more the girl will appear to react to you, but if you use aggressive physicality to cause reaction in the girl you are actually reacting to her. Specifically, you are living in reaction to the hope that she will pay attention to you or fix her attention on you (hooking). The more you live in reaction of hope that the girl will pay attention to you the more you get drawn into trying harder and harder to get her attention with increasingly aggressive physicality. Obviously this is a dangerous pattern with numerous negative repercussions. Beware if you see yourself going down this path and re-adjust.
Instead, adhere to physical rapport style interaction with sporadic aggressive physical expressions. Sporadic physical expression within physical rapport style is a dynamic that clearly shows the girl that you are socially well adjusted and sexually comfortable resulting in her categorising you ‘as an attractive guy’. With sporadic physical expressions within physical rapport your demonstration of physical-sexual comfort leads to her physical-sexual comfort and her increased compliance to your escalation.
Run chill interactions and occasionally do something playful that is more physically intense, like: picking the girl up, neck kissing, dipping, neck biting, embracing her on a wall and grinding (amongst others). These moves are only permissible if you are unapologetic, chill and relaxed (Relaxed Arousal video). These kinds of moves acutely spike a girl’s arousal in that moment, but you have to be sure to retract the aggressive physicality soon after expressing it. You never want to get the girl anywhere near close to sexual arousal in the bar.If you put a girl into a sexually aroused state where she feels she is involuntarily going in the direction of unintended intimacy with you caused by your sexual escalation you may cause her to become evasive. A girl’s simple reaction to unexpected seduction is ‘evade’. A girl’s friends’ simple reaction to this is ‘rescue’ and ‘prevent friend from being a slut’. Whether these reactions are anappropriate recourse to your escalation doesn’t matter, that’s just how girls react.
Use Physical Expressions to give the girl a taste of excitement, but not to satisfy the excitement. Using physical expressions from your perspective are really fun to influence the girl, induce tests that you can beat and watch her involuntarily react well (excitedly) to you. You can literally witness her become aroused (attracted) to you by the things you do which give you a satisfying sense of influence, a frame that further arouses (attracts) the girl because that is the kind of frame she is hardwired to be attracted to.
Don’t make the mistake of overdoing the Physical Expression moves. The goal is to have the girl wanting to get more arousal after the club therefore considering spending time with you on at an afterparty or date not to be satisfied with the arousal she’s had from you in the club and to leave with her friends. The Physical Rapport skills you need to develop are patience and timing for when you and the girl would be likely to leave the club, usually sometime after the apex of the energy of the night (Timeframes Of The Night Article.
Physical expressions are good to demonstrate to the girl that you are capable of making whatever moves you want whenever you want. This implication is important for inducing the ‘inception’. Once you use physical expressions and them take them away the girl clearly knows your capabilities. This leaves her aroused (attraction) with anticipation of when you might make the next move. Even better is the arousal of ‘if’ you might make the next move, putting through the girl through a full range of self imposed emotions (arousal), with her becoming more attracted to you.
When it comes to the end of the night you need to be able to use physically assertiveness to make decisive moves to take responsibility for the pull if the girl is indecisive about going with you, letting you come with her, or leaving her friends. It takes some intuition to know when and how to make this move. Bootcamp (Bootcamp Information Page) will address that, or over time you will get a good sense of intuition with your own field experience.
Beastmode does employ the use of aggressive physicality. We use the term Beastmode as approaching decisively at the end of the night to find out who is receptive to party and who is not. More aggressive physicality is calibrated at the end of the night and a quick and accurate way to find out if a girl is in a party mood or not. Only use Beastmode as a backup for physical rapport style for a short period of time just before and after the bar’s closing time if you don’t have a solid connection with a girl established by that point in the night. Beastmode has proven to be a great way to reignite physical rapport interactions from earlier in the night.
Other than these few exceptions you want your interactions to be sociable, not aggressive.
Physical Rapport in contrast to physical aggression has many benefits for personal growth (inner game). Physical Rapport is excellent for practising and internalising the principles from the Alexander~ Natural Instinct Method (Natural Instincts Method) of “I Am Enough” “Be Arousing Not Attractive” and “The True Indication Of Interest (IOI) Is Quiet and Attentive”.
If you set out to, and begin to have interactions with limited physical aggression it helps you trust that you as yourself are really all you need to be attractive to a girl. Most guys are under the impression they need to do something that stands out to validate themself. Engaging a girl without doing something to stand out gives evidence to “I am enough” and helps you come into congruence with it.
If you start to have longer interactions, including the ones with intermissions (time away from each other) you start to see the arousal dynamic much better. The misconception is that a girl reacting to you is attraction. A girl’s attraction to you is not a solid thing, but rather a potential thing (Arousal =HV + E Article…there will be an attraction article on this one day). Shifting to the intention of a longer timeframe gives you a chance to see how she can warm up and cool down towards you. You begin to see that you can use your empathy (sense of how the girl feels towards you) to amplify your expression or retract it in response to how the girl receives you. Longer more subtle sets help you develop the vision of arousal dynamics so you can use it to create better connections with the girls you talk to.
Physical rapport is huge for internalising the phenomenon that “The true indication of interest is when the girl is quiet and attentive.” You can have a very simple conversation with a girl for an extended period of time – without much visible affection and without forcing her to react you by being aggressive – and be comfortable with giving you her number, moving venues with you or even dating you. As you gain better vision for subtle attraction dynamics, you change your RAS (reticular activation system) to notice that even though the girl is behaviourally introverted this is a sign that she is actually more drawn to you (potentially attracted to you).
Of the skills in the Alexander~ Natural Instinct Method (Natural Instincts Method) the “Time is your Ally” is what really makes physical rapport style escalation work and is what can lead to the girl to the ‘inception’ resulting in you hanging out with the girl in isolation faster than ever, while making the interaction easy going in process. The variable that makes physical rapport work is time. The longer the interaction, the more the arousal (attraction) the better chance you have of hanging out with a girl in an isolated place.
I am enough + slow and steady accumulation of arousal + trusting that you don’t need visible indications of interest from the girl + time = the girl comfortable with you + feeling excitement towards you = hanging out in an isolated place = you get the girl.
Physical rapport is all about time. Failure to acknowledge the role of time leads guys to become impatient, which leads to physical aggression the problems that come with it listed above.
The perilous dangers of impatience are frustration, rushing the girl, miscalibration and sociopathic traits, all of which go against the golden principle of “I am enough”. As soon as a girl senses any of these things you have no chance.
What you need to know is that arousal is a function of time. It takes a certain amount of time for a girl to be aroused enough by a guy to hang out with him. Girls go out to be aroused by a ‘night out’, not to have sex, but sex can be a part of that arousal.
It’s a fixed variable that girls will be out for the duration of the night in once place. They go out, let their arousal build up and once they get bored they move on. Until then it is highly unlikely they will leave. So you have a timeframe to work with, for example 10pm until 3am.
Side note: On extremely rare occasions I have seen girls leave for sex with a guy they met from cold approach before the time frame. On those occasions the girl was unattractive or very drunk. It’s possible that a girl will leave before the end of the night, but unlikely.
Side note: Sometimes you can physically arouse a girl so much that she will be turned on enough for sex there and then. On the rare occasion that you can convert her arousal to sex by having a logistical way to get her alone and actually have sex you are only going to work her into a frenzy which will fully satisfy her. If you arouse the girl too much without the logistics to act on it then she will experience a come down in regards to her arousal towards you. This can also make her feel regretful for being slutty or feeling like she’s losing control. This usually results in her leaving with her friends.
Side note: Sometimes aggressively physically arousing a girl so much that she is turned on enough to have then and there can actually work. This is where bathroom pulls, car pulls and other public sex can occur. If this happens from cold approach it’s usually more to do with the girl’s risqué disposition on that occasion than your game being good. However, if the girl does have sex with you very quickly you can give some credit to yourself for your capability to make her comfortable and aroused enough to act on her risqué disposition. These scenarios happen very rarely from cold approach but are talked about far more than is an accurate reflection of reality. This results in guys trying for bathroom pulls and heroic-game which is very difficult for guys learning game. Guy who are learning who don’t get what they think they should is frustrating and leads to all kinds of negativity making them aggressive towards girls. Realign your focus on typical cold approach pick up, get better results (or some at all) and get more out of learning the game.
In the fixed time frame of the night you spend time with one girl in one interaction and build up arousal. The more experience you get the more efficient you can be at creating arousal. The longer the interaction with the one girl, including her friends, the better chance you have of hanging out later. There is no point using physical aggression to rush to pull the girl, but you can use physical expressions as a fun way to play like you’re going to pull the girl, then drop it, to accelerate arousal (attraction).
To find which girl you want to spend that timeframe with you can go around and start several Physical Rapport interactions, talk about the intentions for the night and, called screening (Screening Article) and see which girls are single or not, called the Relationship Reaction Matrix (Relationship Matrix Article).
With physical rapport you can go around starting good interactions and screening at the same time without being a seen as a player. Because physical rapport is physically sociable it is acceptable to interact with multiple girls this way while weighing up who you want to choose to spend time building up arousal with. It is very rare that another girl would be receptive to you if they have seen other girls blow you out due to over-escalation. They might interact with you, but it’s rare that a girl will go home with you if she, or her friends, suspect you are trying to be a player.
You have the advantage of knowing that there is a fixed time frame of the night. Within that timeframe you can have fun with the girl expressing a range of emotions as per normal. The big advantage of interacting with a girl using physical rapport style is that your only goal in the interaction is to be comfortable in each other space, because you follow the assumption that it’s not worth the effort to try to escalate the interaction towards sex until after the timeframe of the night.
Not only are you a socially well adjusted guy, once you have a connection with the girl you don’t instantly play for sex. Instead you are in the moment focusing on bringing out your fun side. Image you are stuck in detention for some extent of time, you have to amuse yourself so you don’t die of boredom. When you embrace physical rapport and the timeframe of the night you put your efforts into having fun which accelerates the way you arouse the girl whereas other guys would be boring, or waiting or pushing the girl for sex. A lot of guys even let sets go where they have connections with the girl because they consider the girl too boring, losing the girl.
Side Note: If you are training yourself to become more ‘high value’ assume that the girls you meet who don’t study self help and social dynamics won’t have the same value as you. This can make them seem boring, especially if you bring out their quiet and attentive side. Once you start to come into congruence with ‘high value’ you have to run the entire interaction yourself. Don’t hope that the girl will interest you, hope that she is pleasant company.
For the actual physical interaction you will be spending time with the girl you have chosen. You will have escalated just enough that you are comfortable in each other’s space. While you escalate with your girl you can also include other girls you have already met that you didn’t choose to spend the night with, increasing your value (arousal) even more. You interact with the girl like you have known her for some time, comfortable standing in her space or bringing her into yours in a relaxed way. Sometimes you might play little physical games or push-pull. You include sporadic physical expression in your interaction to keep the set interesting for yourself, knowing that you will elicit a test that you can beat and accelerate arousal (attraction) then you pull it back to a relaxed physical rapport frame.

[TobiasK]

In physical rapport frame you’re not worried if the girl has to go and talk to her friends, and you’re not too worried about you leaving her for a moment to talk to your friends, go to the bathroom or get a drink. In fact, this is a good thing. If you are cooler with her walking away than she is with you walking away then you are on the brink of the ‘inception’.
The magical idea that physical rapport is designed to spawn in a girls mind is something like “I like this guys, he seems to like my company, he has social skills, he’s not rushed, I’m physically comfortable with him, I know he could make moves. All guys like me, especially guys that get close to me. Why isn’t he making more moves? I have never experienced this before. He is very smooth and very nice. Maybe he’s not into me?! Everyone is into me! Especially the quality guys!”
And the ‘inception’…
“I’m going to get him to pay more attention to me and take me more seriously.”
Maybe not then and there, but with that “you’re in”. Once a girl has has the ‘inception’ idea her decision to get you to take her more seriously will accelerate you and her hooking up faster than anything else from cold approach meetings. You can get a sense that she is in this headspace when she starts initiating contact, laughing at your jokes and asking you to take her number. Sometimes she’ll say things like “don’t leave”, “watch my stuff” and “where do you live” which is a pretty clear indication that she interested.
Beware that she is only interested, not sold. Based on arousal theory, she will lose arousal if you suddenly start to rush things. Once you start to rush she knows that you want her, and it takes the anticipation (potential arousal) out of the interaction. Hold the frame, play it out. Make sociable suggestions to hang out elsewhere as the night goes on, logistically organise it with anyone involved and go off into the night. Once she has the made the decision that she wants you to take her more seriously and the longer you hold the physical rapport frame the more urgent the girl feel about wanting to hook up with you. Overall cutting down the time from meeting to sex, making this dynamic a fast fast way to pick up girls.
If you are going to follow this frame work I expect that it will be with a girl gorgeous enough to want to spend that amount of time with, both before and after you have sex with her. As you get better in the game you realise that there is no way of knowing which girl will go all the way to having sex with you, so you stop focusing on that and start to focus on the most attractive girls (looks/personality/attitude/style) and seek their company. It can be worth spending the night in the company of a gorgeous girl and interacting with her in close proximity and not have sex because her beauty and her company is that much of a pleasure to spend time with.
That thought gave rise to my Romantic Revolution (Romantic Revolutions Article) and the massively accelerated attraction, abundance and quality of girls that suddenly seemed drawn to me in life. Overall, it was the massive rock solid ‘it’s all good’, chilled out relaxed arousal (Relaxed Arousal Article) frame that NEVER risked getting me into a negative (frustrated/desperate/aggressive/reactive frame) that girls could instantly sense – and loved me for it. Or anyone else I’ve seen with the same frame for that matter.
If you first priorities are physical rapport, fun in the club and appreciating the company of the girl you are with and she will eventually get the idea that she really likes you and wonders why you don’t like her back the same way, she’ll have the ‘inception’ and make it a certainty.
Sometimes the girl won’t be convinced about you due to girls’ indecisive nature, and you might need to make assertive moves to get everyone to the afterparty, or into a taxi. This is a judgement call and can best be learnt from Bootcamp (Bootcamp Information) or Hotseat (Hotseat Information).
There were times in the past where I would relentlessly harass the girl to go with me, and then to get alone with me, and then to have sex. Eventually I might get her attention, then get her to go with me, then get her alone with me and after a lot of last minute resistance have sex with me, but every step of the process was a struggle. The pushing method is not charming and less effective. I think the pushing mode of interaction takes longer overall to ‘get the girl’. Physical Rapport style that leads to the ‘inception’ make the process smoother, easier, fun to go through, less risky and stress free. It doesn’t risk alienation and it does build abundance.
If you can’t party with the girl you had chosen to hang out with that night but went as far as to continue the interaction all the way to where she has to travel home, to her door, or to eat with her afterwards it’s like an instant date that is the kind of solid interaction the converts into a weekday date.
Compile these effects over a longer period of time and you will have a lot of dates, casual sex partners and become very familiar with the one night stand. That familiarisation will lead you to have them more regularly.
You have to realise that on nights out following physical rapport style interactions will yield either getting a girl into bed or pretty much nothing, albeit a couple of phone numbers from interactions. Sometimes there are simply no single girls to be met who are down to party. Don’t stress it. Keep at it, find better parties and acknowledge the night of experience.
You can go around doing a lot of physically aggressive interactions and get a lot of exciting interactions and make outs. Usually this way of going through the night doesn’t allow for the trust to build that girls need to go with you form a social location to an isolated location. So while you might have 5 make outs, you have no pull and no dates. The 5 make out night can be a very fun thing, but you want to be able to make the shift to physical rapport if you want to get actual results with girls.
In conclusion physical rapport style escalation is a very effective way of turning cold approaching into sexual interactions. It is a method governed by the Alexander~ Natural Instinct Method and something great to practise to start to internalise the principles and skills taught therein. It’s a great reality check to those guys getting frustrated by the game and a reassurance that grabbing girls is not the answer, but rather being nice and getting an intuition of when to ‘grab’ girls (lead them, use physical expression)is the key to getting better results.
Hope you get a lot more results using these ideas.To continue to get good at pick up the most important thing for you is a consistent emotionally relaxed state as advocated by physical rapport style, not the frustration and anger that plagues so many guys.
Have fun, get better results.
Any props, questions, comments or clarifications in the comments below.
Love from Japan.
Alexander~