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BY Alexander~ | September 14th, 2009 at 2:51 PM
“Strength of Reality” Part One


Somebody asked me recently on rsdnation: “What does it mean to have a strong reality, and why is it even important?” This was asked on a forum that focuses on how to be attractive to women and how to be good at picking up girls.

The short answer to this question is: a strong reality is when you have a strong sense of self and a very strong understanding and perception of the world around you, to the point where you play a part in defining it. The reason why it is important is because as a guy, you will always be able to have a stronger reality than women. Men have an ability to have a stronger reality than women (in an emotional and social sense), because you can have a stronger reality than women, you have something that they don’t and that is something of value to them. This makes you attractive. Most importantly, when you have a strong reality you automatically behave in a way that inspires a woman’s attraction triggers. Attraction means getting girls; this was the purpose of the question.

That’s a pretty complicated short answer with many different components. It begs the following questions: What makes a reality strong? How do I know when it's strong? What is a perception of the world? What does it have to do with your sense of self? What are the differences between men’s realities and women’s realities? If I don’t have a strong reality, how can I get one - and how can I keep it? How does having a strong reality make you behave in attractive ways? All these things are massively important to being good with women, but for most people they have no idea this paradigm exists, or even what it means. So, I’d better answer the questions for everyone so your reality can be stronger, you can behave in attractive ways and get lots of hot girls in your life.

First of all you need to understand why it’s important for a human to have a strong reality. Human beings, unlike most organisms on Earth are social creatures. The reason why we have evolved in the way that we have is because we have a co-dependence on other people in our society or tribe. In societies and tribes there is a culture, or a socially-conditioned standard. In modern society, our culture is socially-conditioned in ways that keep people in place, that way they won’t clash with each other, kill each other and continue to drive primal natural selection.

So, because humans have evolved to want to fit into the culture, they strive to form an identity that contributes to, and is recognized, by their culture. Everyone wants to fit in and be acknowledged by everyone around them. The usual way of forming a strong reality is the age old struggle to fit in and feel special. For example, take a 14th century village. There is the village doctor, the village blacksmith, the village drunk and the village idiot. Each of these people have a role in society and they are acknowledged for their role. When people meet them, they immediately understand who they are and what they do. That way, they fit in. The more they fit in, the more the collective co-dependence of human society will protect them. When each of these people fit into society, they feel secure.

This feeling of security gives these people a strong reality. The feeling of security, and the formation of a strong reality –be it village doctor or village drunk – brings with it good feelings. On the deepest level, good feeling is the natural innate impulse that drives every human being in every single thing they do.

The reason why a modern day bum, or the example of the village idiot, can live the way they do is that they feel secure in who they are and what they do, and this gives them a good feeling. The good feeling that comes from feeling secure is significantly more powerful than the good feelings that comes from having money and being respected. That is the importance of fitting into human society and culture. When you understand this, it will become clear why people let themselves identify with being assholes, bums, drunks, victims or any other negative identity. They then, at least, have something to identity with that gives them a strong reality - that makes them feel good, because they feel secure...


BY Alexander~ | September 25th, 2009 at 5:51 PM
“Strength of Reality” Part 2


People will look to have 'who they are' reinforced over and over again, in the things that they do and the ways in which they behave. For example, sometimes you will meet stoners who make a point to brag about how ‘fucked up’ they got. Or you might meet an athlete who makes a point to drop into conversation how well he played. You might meet a village drunk who will introduce himself to you as the village drunk. In the community, you might meet someone who identifies with being a victim or a chode. Even though he doesn't want to be a chode, he automatically and unconsciously does things to reinforce it because the human brain has evolved to try and reinforce its sense of self, so that the owner of the brain fits into society and survives.

By that same standard, if you met a doctor and you failed to acknowledge him in the way that he wanted you to acknowledge him, then his ego (sense of self or identity) would be bruised or he would work hard to get your acknowledgement or validation. You as a human are part of their society and another potential point of leverage for people to use to reinforce their reality and feel good.

In understanding that all people are always seeking validation and acknowledgement from the other people around them to fit into society, you will also understand that your strength of reality will always be determined by how others see you. Furthermore, you will understand that you will always be at the mercy of how others see you – which carries with it massive amounts of anxiety or bad feelings because you worry about not fitting in. So most people set out to make themselves rich, famous or something they THINK will get them massive and consistent acknowledgement from everyone they meet, to give them a massive and consistent good feeling. Some people do achieve this, like successful movie stars, rock stars, drug lords or sports stars. They would have a massively strong reality because everyone acknowledges them consistently for their role in society.

But the bigger this bubble of acknowledgment grows, the more potential it has to burst. That is to say, as good as you can feel and as strong as your reality can grow through consistent social acknowledgment, it can also feel just as bad if you don’t get acknowledged and then your reality can be shattered. Similar to an Achilles heel.

A great example are rock stars. They strive to become a great musician and they strive to become well-known and famous. Soon, if they are good enough and they do become famous, then everyone knows their name and they know what they are famous for. At this point, they would be on top of the world and think they have realized what they set out to achieve – a super strong and invincible reality. Everyone sees them the way they want to be seen, which leads the rock star to see himself the way everyone is seeing him. Because he, like all human beings, understands that fitting into society is important for survival, he takes society’s perception of him seriously.

But, if society turns on the rock star or questions the rock star then he will be inclined to take the criticism just as seriously as he took the positive reinforcement. In interviews with rock stars, they often say that the fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Many rock stars end up turning to drugs to deal with problems arising from skewed and intense fluctuations in social feedback and fluctuations in their reality. With the fluctuations in their reality comes fluctuations in how good they can feel about themselves. Drugs are often the answer because only they can provide a feeling good enough to rival the sort of social validation that a rock star gets.