Motivationsboost för nya - My life after the game

[Evilvalle]

Inte jag som skrivit detta, hittade skiten sparat på gammeldatorn, någon snubbe som skrev detta på MM forum för typ 5 år sen. Jag klistrar in:

My Life After the Game: 2 Years Later
I'm sitting here doing an overnight shift at my job and bored. Haven't scoured these forums in ages but I was reminded of it tonight and thought I'd share some experiences for fun and just to reminicse.

First and foremost, I'd like to say that MM changed my life. Well, not JUST MM, but I am entirely certain that it played a major role. Discovering Taoism was the other major piece in my life's improvement and in all honesty, Taoism and the Game are highly interrelated (if you don't see how, you either don't understand one or the other, go learn about Taoism, it WILL help your game).

Before MM, (and just to be fair, I've read up on a lot of other worthy material I'm sure you have all heard of), I'll tell you right now, I was depressed. Depressed and whiny all the time. I would go on alcoholic and gambling binges that were destroying me slowly. I considered seeing a therapist or taking anti-depressants but felt pathetic about it because I had a degree in Pscyh and thought I should be able to fix my own issues. Most of this pathetic behaviour was a side effect of one-itis. As if you haven't heard it enough, ONE-ITIS IS BAD FOR YOU! I don't need to describe my one-itis story, because I've heard many from many people, and they are all just slightly different versions of the same bloody story.

And you know what? It is NOT that that one girl is not special. I am sure she is special. But guess what? They are all special. I'm not trying to sound like an after school special (damn, I'm overusing the word special), but over the last few years, I've learnt that all women are fascinating and amazing creatures. Even the ones that aren't HBs. BMM (before MM), I used to say shit like "Nah, she's not my type cause...and she's not cause...and I'll never date an asian woman (I'm asian btw)...etc". That line from Juggler (I believe) put it best, it's like being a kid, going to the candy store and always picking the same candy. It might be great, but you'll never know how great other candies are if you never try. Developing PU will make you try other candies. And it has. Asians are great. Short girls are great, tall girls are great, young girls are great, older (umm, but not too old) women are great. After 2 years, I now have around 4 or 5 close guy friends I like to hang out with, and maybe triple that number of female friends who's regular company I enjoy. Superficiality is a product of our genetic hardwiring and our hardwiring is not necessarily built in a way to keep us happy. I admit, I still slobber over HBs, but nowadays, I feel like I can fall in love with a lot of girls (and before you go nuts on me, my definition of love has changed QUITE a bit in 2 years).

Other (although kinda noobish) lessons/rants I'd like to share:

- Who cares if they know about the Game. Hell, I TALK about the game with girls. I recommend they read it. Hell, I've lent my copy of The Game to a girl before. Noone will think less of you, trust me.

- "Competence is more important than confidence" is one of the most magical things I've ever heard. That clicked with me. EVERYONE and their brother tells you that a key to success is confidence. "Be confident" they say. Well guess what? You can't just BE confident. It's not a switch you turn on and off (for most people anyway). But be competent. Know your shit and then TRY IT OUT. Because knowing your shit is one thing, but you won't really understand it until you try it. Lots of guys know how a combustion engine works, but who can take one apart and put it back together again? Only the people that have done it. After that, your success, which WILL come if you keep trying, will breed your confidence, which will then breed more success and so on and so forth. Taoist sidenote: A pot is only as useful as the empty space inside of it. Do not fill your head with ideas and expectations of success. Just go talk to those damn women without expecting an outcome. You'll figure out if it felt like success or not after the fact (it will usually feel like success by the way).

- Do not overload on negs. Holy shit did I ever make this mistake SO many times in the beginning. It's tough to judge it at first, but when you don't know better, you neg, and get all this attention because it works and you love it so you do it some more and more to get more attention and lo and behold, you've just become an asshole. I've had girls sitting on my lap, rubbing my leg and then later in the night yell at me "Fuck, I don't have to prove myself to you!". Balance it out my friend. They gotta win sometimes.

- Do not overload on jealousy plots. Another problem of mine. I used to talk about girls I fooled around with all the time to other girls. To a certain extent, it helps, but too much of it is boasting and boasting is low value behaviour as we all know. Really, you don't even have to talk about it, introduce her to your friends and let your friends (who WILL eventually bring it up, especially if they are girls) talk about how much of a pimp you are. THEN, it's a DHV.

- I have not been f**king girls like a superstar. To me, it is not success and it does not have to be success for you. To each their own, but when I look at the differences in my life from BMM and now, getting laid never and now getting laid if I want to isn't one of the differences I consider as a contributing factor to my happiness. I'll just say, that the girls I slept with, all went nuts after. I didn't like that emotional attachment they had afterwards. Maybe it's an AFC part of me, but I just do NOT want to be THAT important to a single girl and I really truly do not want to hurt them when I realize that I am now "bored" of them (temporarily anyway). One girl I slept with started clinging so I hooked her up with one of my best friends instead and they now live together and are very happy with each other. She is also now one of my BFFs and I'll tell you know, I am MUCH happier this way then if I had slept with her over and over instead of the two of them being happy together. Heck, I even had my first threesome this year, and you know what? I didn't even enjoy it that much. Lol, maybe I just suck in bed or have Reactive Attachment Disorder or something, but regardless, one of the two girls involved in that went psychotic stalker on me (42 txt msgs in 2 hours is not cool when I haven't sent a single reply back) and it sucked. Other f**k stories follow the same kind scenario for me. So what do I like? I like making out and chatter. I like that I've made out with 11 girls from my last job. I like that I can make out with 3 girls in the same night at the club. I like how girls just don't seem to mind if I made out with their friend and will make out with me after seeing me make out with their friend (which doesn't seem to go as smoothly with f**king). I love living in sexual tension without release. Call me an AFC or masochist for that if you will, but I'm a happy AFC (oxymoron?). PS: STDs suck.

- Some people are gonna hate me for saying this part, but if you've been shunned by that "one" girl, will you ever get her? Uuuh....yes you can. HANG ON though! It's not that simple. Let's just say, right now I'm seeing this one girl in one city and another in this city (yes, it's only making out with them at this point). Both these girls at some point in history have given me the LJBF speech before. One said she would NEVER kiss me. Girls suck at keeping promises I guess. So what's the difference now? Before, I just liked them for being cute and giving me some attention. I told them I loved them, but really, I was just being an AFC. Now I love them, and I do honestly. And loving honestly means having some REAL reasons why. REAL reasons are because they make ME happy and so I want to make THEM happy. Notice how in one-itis cases, you usually don't feel very happy. Also, realize that with both these girls, they only became attracted to me after a long period of having little or no contact with me (kinda resetting the first impression).


- Don't get super hung up on HB9s or 10s. Some are great, but a lot of em....well, have you ever had dinner with a girl and talked about nothing but shoes and shopping and prada and coach and....christ sake! It sucks.

- Can't let the swooning romantic side of you just die? I have to admit, sometimes when I start "falling" for a girl again, I have to resist the urge to become an over-romantic pansy. Try what I did, I made some female friends (two in particular) who I just purposely unload all of my swooning, poetic romanticism on. I do it knowing FULL well it won't attract them and get them naked. They are my friends and they actually know I'm joking and overkilling the kind words on purpose. Don't get me wrong, romantic gestures have their place when interacting with the women you DO want to attract so don't leave em out completely. Like I said, sometimes I just overkill. So anyway, funny thing is, the two girls I overload the swooning on, well, I did end up inadverdently getting them naked, lol. Turns out, you give em all that swooning and then go off venturing for other girls without another word and a few weeks later, they start to miss that swooning, a lot

- Strong identities are important. Really know who you are. This doesn't mean pick to be a magician or army guy or what not. You don't PICK an identity . Do some soul searching and figure yourself out cause your game is useless if you don't. Case study: My best friend was an AFC to the extreme. Now, he DID take the anti-depressants and was an alcoholic. Worse of all, he's emo. So very very emo. He makes every AFC mistake in the book. I tried to teach him to game. It never worked and really, most of the time he just ended up getting pissed off at me for pushing him so hard in that direction. I really knew that if he just fixed the girl problems though, he'd be happier (hell, it worked for me). A long while later, I finally gave up "teaching" him game. but that's kinda when I really DID start teaching him. Doesn't make sense? Well, what I did was I reinforced his "emo"ness. We laughed about it, I encouraged him to buy emo clothes and shoes and listen to emo music. I encouraged him to express his emo sappiness openly and confidently (confident emo? another oxymoron?). It was something he could relate to. He's also a hardcore geek (like me) but we're proud ass geeks lemme tell you (PS: Life is good when you can talk about WoW and use l33tspeak to pick up and make out with an HB, it IS possible!). Wanna know what happened? He took hold of his identity and believed in it so strongly that women came to him. NO word of a lie. Hell, he made out with 2 girls at the same time before I ever did!! And he's never even read The Game or picked up an MM book. Granted, the girls that chase him now are all emo/goth/punk/indie/ and never anything else. And he's no PUA, his AMOG control his horrible (he's been punched in the face twice at the bar in girl related incidents, lol). But it shows you what a strong identity does. This will not only improve your game, but every aspect of your life. It's like that book "The Secret", only not bullshit

- Some things that have made me happier than any romp session since MM:
--At a discussion at the pub, it was me and 3 women. They were talking about how I was a player and one said "Well, c'mon. You know what I think? I think that in all honesty EVERY girl is attracted to GoShogun in one way or another".
-- Another quote "GoShogun, how come you just know how to make all the girls melt in your hands?"
PS Yes, I'm a romantic sap and like being romanticized by women. Whatever, you'd love it too!

- Sexy is a good word. Use it. About her, about yourself, about everything. Girls like the word sexy.

- You don't have to make sense. Guys are logical, girls are not. I remember this one time, this girl (who happened to be a webcam stripper , w00t!). Everyone at the pub was hitting on her, but with strong game etc. I had her attention and was sitting at her table with her (and her dad, worst CB evar!). Some guy was trying to get her attention and rolled his eyes at her which pissed her off and they started mouthing off so I decided to cool the situation down and took her hand and said "Eyerolls aren't so bad. They can be sexy (there's that magic word again). See?" and I kissed her hand and "rolled" my eyes up to gaze into hers and she starts howling and i'm thinking "whew, how did i get away with that bullshit?!". It made no sense to me, but really, it doesn't have to. Later that night, she asked me to come to her place with her to "prove" something to me (in response to earlier when i didn't react when she tried to get my attention away from my friend by exposing her bra to me and I said "Stop that, it doesn't prove anything"). But her dad adamantly said no, /cry. Worse CB evar, like I said. How do you diffuse a dad?!

- Seriously, it's not serious. Life is about fun. There's no reason why the female seducing aspect of it shouldn't be about fun unless you're starting a family cause you're crazy like that Make a game of the game if it helps. One night at the club, I told myself I would try and make out with the tallest girl possible (I'm only 5'6ish). It was funny, I found a girl and I couldn't reach the girls' lips, I had to sit her down on a stool to do it. She had two pet ducks. Things like this make me laugh, and thus happy.

- Unlike what most PUAs say, I also drink and sarge all the time. It's not cause it helps, being too drunk has messed up a bunch of sets (but also resulted in some good laughs). But I drink cause to me, drinking is fun. I also dance on speakers and in cages by myself (note, I'm a decent dancer, or so I've been told), not to show off, but cause it's fun for me. When you go out, don't forget what's still fun to you. Also, (I'll get yelled at here I think) I truly believe that if you learn to sarge drunk, you can do it succesfully eventually. It's like that psych experiment. People that learn to play darts drunk actually play better drunk than when they are sober. If you practice in all states, you should be ok in all states, just my opinion. I remember this one story when a girl was telling me how I acted on my birthday (which was a night I was very very drunk). She said I was trying to bite her friend but she said no and that I then went off on this tangent that had nothing to do with biting, said something remarkably ingenious and all of a sudden, her friend was ok if I bit her. I do not remember AT ALL what I had said. I even asked my friend "For the love of God, what magical words did I say?" and she replied she wasn't sure, that it was just miraculous. Knowing women, I probably said something that made no sense but just said it confidently, but it just goes to show, if you practice enough, it just becomes a natural part of you.

- Make friends, don't just try and get laid. Making a few good friends is like doing hundreds of cold approaches at once because friends will introduce you to their friends. I honestly don't do very many cold approaches anymore, I keep meeting girls through other friends I know now.

My god, never ending rant. So it's been about 2 years since I discovered the MM. It's funny, I log onto my facebook account and see that I've been rated #1 Sexiest in my network on that silly Compare People application. 2 years ago, I swear that that would have said something along the lines of "#1 Kindest" or "#1 Just a cool guy". I was never quite able to relate the word sexy and myself. Oh how things change.

[nospoon]

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