Tyler best forum posts @RSDnation

[Evilvalle]

Någon hade slängt ihop nåt dokument av vad han tyckte vad Tylers bästa forumposter på RSDnation, från 2006-2011, rätt bra stuff:

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You give value by your presence -- your unique identity, personality, and energy you offer to the group.

You take value when you want a specific response, and women can feel that from you -- therefore nullifying everything cool that you're doing because it appears reaction-seeking, needy, and fake.

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This stuff also always comes down to becoming too reactive/buttonpushing.
The more effort you put into "becoming good" the more you want it to WORK -- not because you're needy for the girl, but because you want to prove that the work you put into your new skillset is paying off.
This inevitably shoots you in the foot. It's a different breed of neediness. Like a thin shelack of reaction-seeking that you can't avoid, even if you "push her away" -- she just feels it off of you.

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You'll find that when you base your model of the game around being unreactive/masculine/confident that you can avoid the whole buying temperature issue, and have girls stuck on you like GLUE in spite of it.
This allows you the sustained increase, without actively doing anything to push it.

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There are lots of ways to make women attracted to you, but it has nothing to do with manipulation. It's purely biology/evolution/etc..

Actually, if you have the mindset that it's manipulation, then you'll feel like it's not really you, and you'll come across incongruent.

It could be said that I'm about as machavellian as they come in terms of picking up girls, and it's funny because the "holistic" approach (ie: BE the guy that offers value and is naturally attractive) is what I find the most potent and effective.

If other ways worked better, I'd use them. But they don't. I do what I do because I've tried everything and
what I do now works best.

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If your state, sense of identity, or general equilibrium is affected by the girl's response, you are taking value. She will feel this.

This is difficult because when you approach, you probably want a specific outcome. But really, you should be coming from the frame of a guy who already has a harem waiting at home -- oversexed and tapped out -- you're just offering value, and have no emotional reaction to her responses.

At the same time, you should also be conveying a ton of sexuality. She should know that you haven't the slightest hesitation to take what you want.

This is a fine balance, but when you strike it your results go through the roof.

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The theory about being unreactive as a subtle devalidation or neg is right, IMHO. Rather than being a "button pusher" (which makes you chase her for 30 seconds until you show interest, and then she goes cold again), you BECOME a higher value guy, so that you're naturally unreactive and she ALWAYS wants your validation.

This is why the button-pushing model is flawed. It's not that negs are bad -- a guy who doesn't need them but uses them for fun will do well with them. But if you have a chode who believes he doesn't have to improve HIMSELF, and he can just learn a sequence of buttons to push, he becomes distracted from his overall goal.

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Shift your sense of identity from social-feedback-addiction to a sense of having CORE VALUE -- something that is not dependent on people's reactions to you.

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RSD is about deep, identity level change.

I rarely "do" anything to get attraction -- but I get as much, if not more attraction than any "PUA" you'll ever see.

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The reasons your friends are good is because they're dominant and unreactive. It's not about living up to OTHER people's standards --> it's about ASSERTING your own standards so strongly that they scramble to live up to yours.

If you've ever been talking to a popular kid in high school, and found yourself talking about all sorts of topics that you're not interested in, and agreeing with things that you don't really agree with, then you know what I'm talking about.

When you're a good pickup artist, you can approach a girl and have her making up lies to be agreeable, similar to how a male AFC/chode/bitch will lie to agree with a hot girl.

Why not try an experiment? Go out and get yourself into state. Like, get yourself to that perfect sweet spot in your game where you can do no wrong. Once you've done that, try going up to a girl with something intellectual that YOU want to talk about. Be unreactive, lay down your standards, and use whatever kind of humour is true to who you are.

Post back the results, and we'll go through it.

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Women can quickly tell when you have internal boundaries in your own mind, how dominant you are, etc etc..

Imagine if instead of cultivating a set of tactics and techniques, you went out every night and worked on cultivating strength in YOUR OWN reality -- and you spent two years working on this.

Where would you be?

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The emotion of attraction is not a choice -- just like when you see a girl with a certain face, hip-to-waist ratio, etc, you have no choice about feeling attraction.

Sex is still a choice.

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Unreactive means not feeling an emotional reaction towards the woman's frame of --> I'm the shit, you want me, you're another guy trying to supplicate me, you're selling yourself to me, etc..

In any social interaction there is one person reacting more to the other person than that person is reacting to them. By not reacting, she starts to react to YOUR frame, and becomes attracted.

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Being a cool guy is what gets you attraction. What is being a cool guy? It's not complicated. Think back to high school, and the kids who were popular. Now don't glorify them -- most weren't getting laid all that much because they didn't know how to make it happen. But they WERE getting attraction from girls, which is the aspect that you can learn from.

So what do you study to become a cool guy? It's not complicated. All the stuff we talk about here -- having a strong reality, not caring what people think about you, having your own sense of humour, making people earn your validation, being able to vibe with people, etc etc..

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Whenever there are two guys, one of them has a stronger DRAW of SOCIAL-ENERGY in his direction. It's caused by being in state, assertiveness, positivity, playfulness, social savvy, frame control, dominance, etc etc..

Unless you're a GIRL who is worried about being PRETTY, looks has nothing to do with any of that...

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The guy with better "game" -- ie: more confidence, more "in state", will always get the hotter girl. Period.
Back when I was learning this stuff I was kind of a dickhead with a lot to prove. There were a lot of dickhead things I used to do that I wouldn't do now, one of which was to steal the girlfriends of high-profile guys.
In Hollywood I would often be in venues with A-Lister celebrities and remove their girls right off of them -- ie: with them standing RIGHT there. Some of them were chodes riding off of their fame, sure. But many of them were cool/funny/confident guys who'd be getting laid even without all of that stuff.
However, I STILL wound up taking their girls off of them -- not because I was WAY funnier or because I had WAY better game. I didn't. You guys have seen me in the DVDs. I'm a regular guy. But just because I had maybe 1% or 2% more confidence than they did.

Just from a 1% or 2% personality edge over them. Do you see how nuts that is?! It was PURELY game.
When I look out into the world -- I don't see things like looks or money. Like literally, I don't see them. In my brain what I'm seeing is "How in state is this guy? How assertive is he? How upbeat of a guy is he? How much value does he offer to the vibe? How much of a price tag does he put on himself? Does his energy project outwardly or is it stifled in at his core?" I see these things the same way that you guys see looks, because they are more accurate models of what is really attractive.

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Posivity implies emotional fitness, which is equally attractive to the girl as physical fitness.

When you have positivity down, it's like walking in there with a set of ripped abs or something.. Just ask Jeffy..

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A few semantics issues here is all...

Basically, the "offering value" frame emulates the way a guy who's oversexed with 10 girlfriends would come across.

The issue with going out specifically to build skill set is......:
PREVIOUSLY: Scarcity mindset, outcome-dependent, trying to get that special girl.
NOW: Abundance mentality, outcome-dependent, trying to validate your skillset as a pickup artist.
So the result = still no girls.

Although you replace a scarcity mentality with an abundance one, you're still constantly trying to VALIDATE your skillset as a pick up artist.
This conveys like this thin shelack of neediness to the girl --> hard to put your finger on, but OBVIOUSLY there, like a steaming turd..... Which is honestly IMO a major reason that most community PUAs wind up with NOTHING, while many of their friends who aren't really any cooler than them wind up with at least a decent GF.

When you have the "offering value" frame down truly tight (ie: like a Vincent Chase or a Tommy Lee type vibe), you wind up with more girls than you know what to do with. Obviously it has to be combined with getting out of the house, meeting lots of people, having lots of experiences, and moving forward with the vibes of situations so that you're getting laid.
Also, think of any bootcamp like the Oracle from the movie "The Matrix" -- everyone gets the advice that THEY need to hear, and everyone's advice is different. That's why we keep the student/instructor ratio so low.

Frames like "Go the fuck after what you want and CLOSE" have to be balanced with "Enjoy the vibe for what it is and don't be dependent on the outcome." Different guys need to come from different sides of the equation, and neither should get too far out of wack.
Hope that clears things up.

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Unreactive = being unreactive to people's FRAMES.. ie: "be in your own reality"

This frees you up to be more EXPRESSIVE as you have the liberty to do so without being rigid or confined.

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just going out and banging your head against the wall = no results

studying inner game while going out constantly to internalize what you studied = massive results

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Basically, a girl's reality is like:
-Guys want me
-Guys hit on me
-Guys put me on a pedastal
-I'm a princess
-etc etc

When you have the "offering value" and "unreactive" mentality, the girls get NO SENSE of you doing any of those things.

As a result, they try to re-establish their realty by throwing themselves at you to BAIT you to flirt back.

It's not necessarily because they really want you, but rather, because they're trying to re-establish their reality.

Just two nights ago the (IMO) cutest girl in the club says to me "Buy me a drink"... I say "Fuck no.. No fucking chance". She says "I'll make out with you..." I say "Fuck no"... She says "Is there a lizzard in your pants.. Let me touch it" (reaching to touch it, because I used Tim's lizzard opener) to which I respond "No chance.. Back the fuck up.."

As a result, she's saying things like "You're so hot blah blah blah" because she's trying to RE-ESTABLISH her reality that all guys hit on her.. She wants me to crack under the pressure and start hitting on her, maybe even buying her a drink, and re-establishing her reality that she's a princess.

Many guys will try to accomplish this effect by NEGs... However, the problem is that as soon as you validate her the effect wears off..

So I do it by my OVERALL FRAME, which NEVER wears off.. IE: Just offering value, being unreactive, etc etc..

That way, even if I escalate, she NEVER gets the feeling of being 100% validated... That's the key to most guys' problems is that they learn a good "game" but as soon as they show any interest (ie: makeout, going to bed, etc) the girl loses interest.. So I stopped doing a lot of my old "game" and just worked on the deeper level frames because I was frustrated with that and wanted to improve it.

The reason we teach so much about inner game and frames with RSD is because we're hardcore pickup junkies ourselves and aren't satisfied with a SURFACE LEVEL result that doesn't yield LAYS. So even if it APPEARS to be good game, unless it closes the deal we have no interest in using it or teaching it.
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That's why I was saying that it's an OVERALL FRAME rather than a TECHNIQUE.

If it's your overall frame that you're just offering value and you're approaching with a FULL CUP instead of an EMPTY CUP that you want to be filled, then even if you escalate, the girl still feel a vibe from you that she doesn't fully HAVE you.

Think Jim Morrison or Colin Ferrel or Vincent Chase --> even if they're making out with a girl, they're doing it IN THE MOMENT because they felt like it for a minute, but the girl still knows that at any second they could just wander off.

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Don't overanalyze it --> the reason hot girls like you is because you seem like a guy who has so much going on that you're indifferent, therefore they can enjoy hanging with you without the pressure of worrying that you have a crush on them.

The way forward is either to get the girl to your house and then escalate, or to get her out with you partying with friends, and then get her to your house and escalate.

That's about it. Have fun man.

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Real self-esteem comes from knowing WHO YOU ARE and WHAT YOU VALUE.

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Self-esteem = something you already have

You're born with it, like legs, arms, feet, etc...

If you're asking "How do I get self esteem?" you're asking HOW DO I LOGICALLY JUSTIFY SELF ESTEEM which is really EGO.

Self esteem is not logical. You just have it.

As a kid, it becomes wounded. You learn not to trust it anymore.

However as you grow up, you can "re-remember" or "re-connect" with it again.

It comes from the realization that the more PERSONAL the wound is, the more UNIVERSAL it probably is, and that you don't need to IDENTIFY with it anymore. Everyone has hands. Everyone has wounds. YOU are not your WOUNDS.

Also, more importantly, it comes from the realization that THE SELF IS ALWAYS COMING THROUGH.

Most people develop egos because they think that's what's NECESSARY to get a good reaction.

When you realize that you're likeable just for YOU (self esteem = part of you), and that when you're talking to a girl THAT IS COMING THROUGH..... and that even if it doesn't right away, you know IT WILL..... and that if she doesn't like you it might also be HER issue and not yours....... then you stop feeling a NEED to keep finding logical reasons to be confident.

So it's a point of re-finding yourself and coming into your own.

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Opening with "hey what's up" is so easy it's ridiculous.

However, with all the mental blocks in your mind, it may be hard to do something so simple.

Sometimes on workshop I'll say to a guy "OK, stop trying to have it work... Just go up and say "hey what's up" and let yourself get blown out... Go in with no follow up and simply allow yourself to be blown out"

100% of the time the sets will start opening, which freaks the student out of his mind. He can't figure out why suddenly the sets all open.

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Zero difference whatsoever... I could shave my head and leave a ponytail hanging off the side and it would make no difference.

This whole thing is all in your head. "The self is always coming through."

I realize the obvious response to this is "Tyler's gone too extreme saying that nothing matters" etc etc, but dude, I'm SO SERIOUS when I say it's all in your head and that it has no effect whatsoever -- I walk my own talk here.

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I always find it vexing when a guy who knows he's a novice with women won't do something so simple as to manage his appearance, and especially his grooming.

But that said, do you not think that Dennis Rodman could frame control you even while wearing a wedding dress (as he often does)?

Do you not think Conan O'Brien could frame control you while wearing a garbage bag?

So long as you control frames, it makes very little difference.

"The self is always coming through."

All that looks/money/height/etc do is allow you to make more mistakes and get away with it. If you're a cool guy though then it makes little difference.

One of the exercises for RSD instructors is to pull dressed worse than any of you would ever dream of.

Why not, as an experiment, go out dressed in some way that you feel is a hinderance, KNOWING you're dressed in a way that's a hinderance, and see what happens?

You might be surprised.

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Quick distinctions --

CHODE: "Where are you from? What do you do? What do you like about that?" --> trying to wedge their way into getting rapport.

PUA: "Here's what happened to me. Here are some cool tricks I like to do" --> conveying their own reality and personality, drawing the girls in

NATURAL: "Where are you from? What do you do? What do you like about that" --> screening, making the girl scramble to give the right answers and keep the conversation going.

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This clicked for me last week in the field, finally I had proof of the theories, if you understand this, and subcommunicate it...BANG
Everything blows open, and women WILL contribute to your set

If you ask questions with a strong "expectation" of an answer because you are a "high value person" and you are JUDGING her answer subtly to see if she is good enough for YOU then she will make a REAL effort to answer your question, to qualify herself.

The trick is Questions should be asked with the right sub-communication, Your way COOLER then her, I'm qualifiying HER

And once this frame is set your half way home
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are you saying that by clearing up all your inner-blocks and focusing on inner game and subcomunications you'll be able to use a regular guys game and own it ?

Tyler: Yup, definitely.

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One of my buddies who is wildly succesful with girls runs this game:

hey where u from
oh cool how do you like it there
so your studying
oh cool. im studying xyz
how do you find it here?
oh yea, no i agree..
what are you plans for tonight
who are you here with
compliment
kiss
fuck

its all subcommunication. people really need to believe it - why would we lie?

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The differentiator between the three guys (chode, natural, and PUA) is the INTENT that the guys have in the situation.

Mr. Chode's intent is to get the girl to like him

Mr. PUA's intent is to convey how cool he is

Mr. Natural's intent is to see if she's cool

For guys confused about the "ask questions vs. make statements" thing, neither one is inherently good or bad. It's the INTENT behind each one that decides how the girl responds.

INTENT is mostly conveyed nonverbally.

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Awesome.. That's called "THE SELF IS COMING THROUGH"

They know you're a cool guy with just a few sentences (if not right away) --> therefore you get the result.

You walk up, assume they can tell what kind of guy you are, and that it.

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IME, complements = positioning yourself as the judge.

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Also, many people HAVE NO PERSONALITY because they lack a sense of their own tastes and values, so have nothing to express. Fixing that means to stop looking to others to decide on how to think and act.

Anyway, work to become less stifled, and work to have more value to offer by perceiving the world through your own lens.

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Funny you mentioned "grounded in your own energy..." because I think that's like 90% of the damned game.

(Well maybe being a fucken gangster who makes shit happen and doesn't give a fuck.....WHILE being grounded in his own energy......wooo!)