Mark Mansons "wingman" - 8 epiphanies that changed my game

[Evilvalle]

For 3 years I have kept a journal since I started in the community. I have just had my three year anniversary and I wanted to go back and read the things that I have written. Upon doing that I saw so many mistakes that I made and lessons that I learned. I want to sum them up from the perspective of someone who started off in a dark place to someone who now teaches.

Before I get to my epiphanies I want to explain my journey.

When I found the community I was going out 7 days a week living at home with my mother not working. I asked opinion openers in the mall and got blown out constantly. I was beginning to think that this stuff didn’t work. Out of desperation I reached out to a Mystery Method instructor named El Topo who much to my surprise connected with me on a personal level. He never asked for a dollar from me but gave me more then I could ever afford. He told me that I had to meet a guy from Boston that goes by the name of Doc Holliday. I talked with Doc on the phone that night and we hit it off. Our views were very much in line and we decided to hang.
Doc got me into the local lair and we sarged together. I saw another side of day game that was real, honest and VERY powerful. I continued to go out 7 days a week selling my video games and dvds to make money to get to Boston. Doc saw me improve very quickly and asked me to be the approach coach for Practical Pick Up. The group of Saffron, Entropy and Doc took me in and I learned so much from watching them teach and work with students. I watched as Saffron would approach girl after girl and just dominate their reality. Entropy was much more chill but produced the same results. I learned my first epiphany

*Epiphany #1 There are two types of attraction; Passive (which is body language and looks) and Active (which is being fun, witty and playful) *
Saffron was like 5ft tall and not very attractive at all, Entropy is well.. lets just say better looking. However when they would go out it was not the better looking guy who got the girl. This blew my reality away!
My job with Practical Pick Up taught me how to be a teacher. The guys invested a lot and out of a business grew a friendship. My game continued to grow and so did my passion for teaching. At one bootcamp I met a student who ended up giving me a ride home because he lived a couple of towns away. Jimmy quickly became someone who I admired. He is a father who is very active in his son’s life. Growing up I never had that experience but here was a guy who was divorced, successful in his occupation but still played a role as the father to his son. From him I learned responsibility for my actions and in turn I taught him what I knew about women.
Jimmy quickly became a close friend to me and he became really good with women. This is a guy who was 10+ years the senior of most of the girls he was dating and they loved him. His playful style of game would only get better as time went on.

At this time I started getting more girls in my life as I went out. I liked this one girl but couldn’t escape the friend zone. At her house one night she told me how she likes this guy. She then said something that became my next major epiphany:

HB: Just because I like him doesn’t mean I want to have sex with him. I can like lots of people but it doesn’t mean I want to fuck them or go out with them.

Epiphany #2 I left the house that night and learned a very valuable lesson. Girls will fuck guys they don’t want to date and they will like guys they don’t want to fuck.

At this point I decided to invest a ton of time into social circle game. I figured having a friend who was a girl could be a bad thing or good thing, its all on how I relate to it. I decided I needed more girls in my life I wasn’t gaming it was NOT healthy to game every girl. So I embarked on becoming the guy in clubs that everyone wanted to be. To do that I would need a social circle.

I was doing good with the girls, getting laid and building a network but I still lived at home and had no job. I was out of video games to sell and I had my next major epiphany. While I was pulling girls, the quality of girls I wanted was not what I was getting. I would take 7s home and have sex but I felt empty. Then I learned it…

*Epiphany #3 No amount of game will make up for a shitty lifestyle. *
I had the perception of being this high valued guy but I was simply playing a part. I decided to stop all pick up for 3 months and get my shit together. During this time I fixed my life, bonded with friends and got a job. My lifestyle was getting better so now it was time to shake the 7s and learn how to pick up the hottest of the hot girls! In the mean time I decided to get back in the swing of things I was going to knock out some goals. One goal was pull a girl off a dating site from open to close in 1 day. This was actually a lot easier then I thought it would be thanks to Jimmy allowing me to use his house for operation fuck the online chick. After this was over the next day was ushered in by the next epiphany. I was feeling low and I couldn’t understand why. I just did something that took a great amount of comfort I thought so shouldn’t I be proud? I thought about the girls who rejected me in the past and then it hit me….

*Epiphany #4 Game is not about wracking up lays to take vengeance on women for your hurt in life. Game is about improving yourself that you can share your best self with a woman who deserves it. *
From this lesson I decided to only go for girls that I really liked. Wracking up lays was taking a toll on my morals and I felt like such a value taker. I wanted to leave people better then I found them and at this point I wasn’t doing that with everyone I met.

The next epiphany came as I was talking to a friend. He asked me why I was blowing off these 7s and 8s who were obviously into me. I told him I have really high standards. Then it clicked….

*Epiphany #5 You can ONLY have high standards if you EARN THEM. *
Most guys talk about how they have high standards but they have NEVER been with a girl who was BEAUTIFUL AND high value. These drop dead hot ass girls that most guys say they want most guys have NEVER had. I was making excuses and really didn’t earn my high standards yet.

So I went for the 8s and only the ones that I really had some sort of connection with. I left them better then I found them and then the 9s seemed to catch on. I began to write these experiences down and how I got good. I taught more and more and finally got the hang of picking up the hot girls.

I went to Vegas to teach and came back on a high. I started teaching more and more and went to PA then to Canada to teach. Things finally made sense and were working. My job was steady and I moved out into my own place. The transition was tough but at the end of the first month I met a girl who would blow me away.
I have been in relationships before but once in awhile you meet a girl that you have personal chemistry and sexual chemistry with. We fell hard for each other and rushed into things. This girl had the looks, the charm and the personality that was lethal for me. This became my next great epiphany.

*Epiphany #6 Chemistry cannot be generated, you either have it with a person or you don’t. There are also two types: Personality Chemistry and Sexual Chemistry… If you have both you found something rare. *
Scarcity built up inside me as I couldn’t believe this was happening. I was afraid to mess it up and stayed in game mode. This threw me for a loop as this off again on again relationship took a toll on me. I stayed high value all the time and tried to impress her with my worth. This was a massive mistake and one that taught me a lot but cost me even more. This brought me to another very important epiphany when it comes to girls….

Epiphany #7 The brighter you shine the bigger shadow you cast.
For so long I was trying to display value to all these girls I came in contact with and I would spend so much time in attraction that I became unattainable in many ways. I learned that if you oversell yourself people are not going to buy. I was spending so much time doing attraction that I didn’t need to do at all and not enough time being an actual person. I fell into the common mistake that I had to look “cool.” Attraction became part of me once I fixed my lifestyle and really got my confidence in order that when I ran attraction on girls it would kill the interaction because they thought that I was just a player at that point. I learned that you can have too much value. This lead me to one of the hardest epiphanies that I have learned and cost me my relationship.

*Epiphany #8 When you don’t stop the game you are bound to lose. *
Jimmy became the teacher to me many times as his wealth of experience in relationships got me through this period of pain. Eventually I had to make a choice and get a resolution for me so I had to let go of the relationship with my girlfriend. I learned that pick up teaches you the “tricks” to getting the girl to go home with you but it doesn’t teach you how to keep her. All these game techniques never stopped when I started dating my dream girl and it cost me the relationship. This was a hard lesson but one that I have never had to repeat.

There are so many stories, triumphs and failures along the path of the last three years that I could and might someday write books about it. For now I am proud of who I am. I came from a boy who didn’t know how to be a man to a man who is confidant and believes that everyone has value. I am blessed but know that the journey for me is not over. I am not and never will be perfect at this. I am a student, I am a teacher, and I am three years into a journey I began with the simple hope of creating social options. Now I sit here with a life that allows me to teach other people these skills. I am blessed

Thanks for listening to my journey. I hope you find value in this.

[manwhore]

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