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[TobiasK]

BY Brad- | March 25th, 2009 at 10:40 AM
7 Hot Tips for the Wannabe Ladiesman

It’s every man’s dream.
Having your cake and eating it too.
I’m talking about a drama free environment of multiple non-exclusive relationships with HOT girls.
But where to start?
Have you ever actually met anyone who has been able to pull it off?
Lucky for you, I’ve gone through the process multiple times. I’ll help you avoid the common pitfalls guys encounter when diving into the world of multiple girlfriends.
The thing I see over and over is the dissonance between what you want and what you project. Looking for a girl you can randomly hookup with, no strings attached, but unintentionally projecting “monogamous vibes” onto the relationship.
This is because main-stream media only gives examples of relationships where sex = monogamy.
Over time I have come to realize that women are just as interested in these types of relationships as men. It’s just the way men come across. It is easy to see why girls expect more out of the relationship, because the man is projecting through his mannerisms and actions boyfriend type “vibes.”
Utilizing these techniques will instill certain patterns that lead to naturally conveying the right qualities. They are very effective, but you don’t want to be a social robot. Be flexible.
Each tip is beneficial when starting out, but after a while your subcommunications will be congruent with what these rules are trying to convey and they won’t be as necessary.

1. Don’t meet up with the girl more than once a week.
If you can keep the relationship to only meeting up once a week, you mitigate the chances of it escalating into something more serious. It keeps the relationship moving at a very slow pace, and neither of you are going to develop a deep emotional connection.
It is a hard-wired human trait that the more time spent with someone, the more pair bonding takes place, where there is an actual chemical dependency between the two of you. It is inevitable that the relationship will head in a traditional direction if you see each other too much. And what happens with a traditional BF/GF relationship? Exclusivity.
Also, don’t text/call the girl EVERY day. You don’t want her thinking about you day in and day out. It causes positive feedback loops where she is continuously picturing the two of you together, and will try to make her thoughts into a reality.

2. Don’t fall into the traditional frame of buying her gifts, going to dinner, meeting the parents, holding hands, etc.
Basically what a lot of these rules accomplish is that you are trying to keep the relationship out of traditional boyfriend-girlfriend zone. The more actions you do that can be considered boyfriend/girlfriend actions, the more likely she will think you two ARE in a serious relationship.
This also pertains to how you act with your mutual friends and when going out to bars/clubs together. Treat her like every other friend, and DON’T GET JEALOUS if she is talking to other guys.
You aren’t exclusive with her, so why should she have to be? Just because you meet each other out doesn’t GUARANTEE that you are going to end up together at the end of the night. If she ends up with some one else, it shouldn’t affect you.

3. Be discrete.
Don’t flaunt your successes. No matter if it’s just with your friends or other girls, it’s a bad idea. Word will spread that you “kiss and tell,” and if any girl sleeps with you, a lot of people are going to find out about it.
You might be wondering, “But how am I supposed to be considered the ‘sex-worthy’ guy if no one knows it?”
It is SUBCOMMUNICATED. It’s pretty obvious based on how often you see the girl, and the way you act around her that you have lots of options, and are probably seeing multiple women.

4. Don’t worry about the “relationship talk” until it comes up. NEVER be the one to bring it up.
I hear it over and over… “What do I do when she asks what are we? Let’s be boyfriend-girlfiend?”
Follow my advice, it’s a non-issue until it becomes one. Don’t worry about.
Some people suggest proactively telling the girl what your intentions are…
Well, unless the girl is VERY non traditional and sexually open, you are going to have a lot fewer options, because most girls just aren’t willing to frame the relationship in that way.
It’s more of a tacit understanding. It doesn’t need to get talked about until things reach a point where one of you builds a strong enough emotional attachment that you desire more from the relationship.

5. When “the talk” does come up, be honest.
Don’t lie to her about how you view the relationship. Be straight forward, and don’t pussyfoot around. Honesty is key.
You probably really enjoy her company, the sex is probably pretty good, but you aren’t in a place in your life where you want a serious relationship right now.
This is not some line, but actually the headspace I am in when this discussion comes up.
EXTRA:
Two questions that girls ask, that they NEVER want answered…
“How many girls have you been with?”
“Have you been with any other girls since we started hooking up?”
I am all for the authentic/genuine guy thing, but certain things are just going to destroy the relationship. How do you answer these properly?
Girl: How many girls have you been with?
YOU: I understand what you are trying to ask. Don’t worry I have always been safe and am tested.
Girl: Are you hooking up with any other girls?
YOU: Girl, I have been so busy, I don’t even have time to THINK about other girls…
-Again, it’s tacitly subcommunicated that you are seeing other girls, no need to verbalize it and hurt the woman’s feelings.

6. Don’t flirt with other girls in front of her.
It’s cool to talk to girls, just don’t actively flirt and start making out with someone in front of her. It’s mean and tacky.
Jealousy plotlines and the like are great during the initial interaction, but if you already sleeping together, there is no need to bring jealousy into the relationship.
You should be SUBCOMMUNICATING plenty of non-neediness and being “a man of many options” because you are sleeping with multiple women. No need to flaunt it in her face.
Also, if you already have multiple girls, why are you in such a hurry to go out and meet more when you’re with one of your girlfriends? It smells of insecurity, and an addiction to pickup. Compartmentalize your nights of cold approaching and the nights spent out with your girl, which I know is easier said than done.

7. Monogamy is Un-Natural!
Haha, realize that these types of relationships are more natural and commonplace than you would expect. It’s just something that isn’t talked about because verbalizing it goes against some of the core tenets of how these relationships form.
Stick to the rules, but be flexible as you get more experience and see where it leads.
Welcome to the secret society.