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[TobiasK]

BY Brad- | July 31st, 2009 at 3:53 PM
Do You Have Problems Where You Run Out of Things to Say? Don’t Worry, Because the Words Don’t Mean SHIT!

I have a deep-seated belief that when you approach a woman, WHAT YOU SAY has no bearing whatsoever in building attraction.
During the weekend bootcamps, where I teach guys how to approach women confidently, we go through a lengthy discussion on why the words you say don’t matter, and try to explain on as logical a level as possible why the words you use don’t mean ANYTHING!
What I would like to do is outline the 6 most important reasons why the words don’t matter, and then teaching you what to talk about with a girl.

1. 93% of communication is nonverbal
- 90, 80, 99, 93… Whatever the percentage actually is, the MAJORITY of human to human communication is done on the level of SUBCOMMUNICATION.
Things like body language, eye contact, tonality, projection, positioning… THESE convey what you are actually saying.
Remember, no matter what words you use, the self is always showing through.
2. Women are emotional, not logical
- As men, we speak on a very logical level.
Think about every conversation you have.
“How was the baseball game?” “It was great.”
“What did you do last night?” “Went to a night club.”
“Have you ever been in a fight?” “Yes.”
Question-Answer. Action-Response.
That is how men talk. This is NOT how women talk.
It’s more like, “I feel fat today, I was walking around and thinking about what type of mother I’d be like, did that guy just stare at me, why?, oooh that phone is pink!”
There is no path, no direction, no logicality, at least in their perfect conversation.
WARNING! I’m generalizing here. Obviously in the work place or a logical argument women too speak logically all the time. But in a night club, or a social get together, women prefer NON-LOGICAL conversation.
Fluff talk.
Vibing.
3. She will find you interesting as long as you are INTERESTED in what you have to say
The old school technique of talking to girls about jeans and fashion is WRONG.
The superficial logic makes sense I guess. Talk about something she is interested in, and she will enjoy the conversation.
But the problem is in the incongruency of a deeper concept of human interaction.
The RSD concept of “Whatever you feel, she feels.”
I don’t care how passionate she is about jeans, if you start getting bored, so will she.
You want to be talking about things that YOU find interesting, whether that be how deep the canals are in Amsterdam, or who your favorite American philosopher is.
You can talk about ANYTHING as long as you are interested, engaging, and charismatic about it.
ANYTHING.
4. Being passionate
That leads into the next topic.
Women don’t care as much about WHAT you like, it’s more that you LIKE ANYTHING!
They are just trying to screen out the guy who, if they dated him, would end up sitting around, living his life vicariously through sports 3-4 years from now.
She wants someone who is passionate.
About anything.
Burning macoroni and cheese, or playing sports, it doesn’t matter as long as she can see that you have some sort of emotional connection towards something.
This one also directly relates to how you will probably be in the bedroom to guys.
Usually the guy who has the dry boring conversation will be dry and boring in the bedroom too. Mechanical.
Whereas the passionate, engaging, charismatic guy will probably act accordingly in the bedroom also.
5. Actions speak louder than words
How many times have you heard that one?
Straight out of elementary school right?
So obvious, but so true.
You convey WAY more about the type of guy you are from how you present yourself and taking action, than anything you could say to her.
Captain of the football team, manager at a night club, who cares if you are too afraid to lead the girl around the club. Or AT LEAST lead the conversation!
6. Lowering your criteria for what you talk about conveys value
Instead of the conversations where you are throwing in DHVs and random “hints” that you are cool, do it with your actions.
HOW you say it.
What conveys more value?
-“Yeah, so I was driving around in my stripper ex girlfriends Camaro and yada yada yada…”
or
-“I like pirates because they drink rum. I was having a fight with my friend because he thinks pirates are from the Carribean, but I’ve heard stories of Julius Caesar being captured by pirates, so they were around way before that.”
One is coming from a place of LOWER value. –read UNACTTRACTIVE!!!!
And one is coming from a place of HIGHER value -read ATTRACTIVE!!!
Can you see which is which and why?
When you just go up to a girl and start spewing random words, what does that say about how much you value the interaction?
Are you trying to impress her?
Are you comfortable talking to a girl of her level of beauty?
Seems like you don’t really care at all if you are talking about burning your macaroni and cheese and what color your shower curtain is…
_____________________________________________________________________________________
This lowering the bar thing builds attraction on so many levels. It conveys value in almost an infinite number of ways.

Being Unpredictable
-If you are talking about shower curtains and pirates, does she know where you are going to lead the conversation next? Who is reacting to who?
The one reacting the most is the lower value person, and by you vomiting random words, you get her to react.

Being Unique
-Talking in this way sets you apart from every other guy in the club. You aren’t asking to buy her a drink, or how often she comes to the bar…

Showing you are authentic
-If you are just spewing random nonsense, are you hiding behind some persona? Trying to say JUST THE RIGHT THING, to get her to like you?
It’s the opposite. You aren’t afraid to fuck up. It is authentic conversation.
Even if it is about random bullshit, that’s way more authentic than trying to impress the girl about how much money you have or what cities you have traveled to.
There you go; words don’t matter guys.
See!
I told you so.
Now that you know this, everything is taken care of right?
Ooops, now we need to talk about what to say.
But you’ll have to wait for the next article for that.