Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar.

[TobiasK]

BY Brad- | September 18th, 2009 at 2:58 PM
Where to start? How about at the beginning. How to approach and open ANY girl.
The first approach. Oh man, I remember my first approach vividly.
“Hey, did you guys see those girls fighting outside?”
Haha, and my journey began.
That interaction actually went pretty well. The girls were into me, but I was so fucking nervous, it felt like lightning was coursing through my veins.
Left the interaction after a few minutes and went back to my friends feeling pretty awesome.
That first approach took months of “preparation.”
I thought I needed the perfect gameplan.
The most elegant.
The “never be rejected” approach.
But that isn’t how things work.

One of the first things that guys need to realize is that you need to stop putting so many expectations on that first approach.
Whether it be your first approach EVER, or just the first approach of the night.
The easiest way to get consistent success EVERY time you go out is…
THE WARM UP SET.
Just dive in.
It’s so easy. All you need to do is GET STARTED.
It doesn’t matter how cute the girl is, who she is there with, what you say to get the conversation started.
And most importantly…
The outcome.
The way I start out a boot camp is to just get guys approaching people. The only criteria for success is that they approach.
It doesn’t matter if it goes well, if you get slapped, if you end up taking a girl home, the approach is all that matters.
And once that first interaction is out of the way… Man things get SOOO much easier.
Why not start when you are waiting in line?
Talk to the bouncer, to a bartender, the couple in the corner, or some cool looking player dude…
You are just getting your mouth moving, getting those social juices flowing.
Tim talks about this in the Flawless Natural. I heard it from Ozzie when he talked during the same Superconference. Then I heard Tyler say the same thing when I was out in Los Angeles.
But I still didn’t implement the WARM UP set.
Man, how that little piece gets your night FLYING!
Next thing. Escalating your opener.
I like to slowly escalate my opener as the night goes on, especially if I am feeling a little out of it at the beginning of the night.
So maybe the first set, I’ll just go up and ask something chode…
“Hey, do you know what time this place gets busy?”
Remember, we are just warming up, building momentum for later in the night.
Then as the night progress, I’ll move on to:
“Ay, my name is Brad. And you are?”
Then when it’s Intent timez, and girls are getting super receptive, it’s:
“Ay, you’re cute!”
I don’t always feel comfortable starting the night off going uber direct, and it’s nice to build some momentum first, coinciding with girls being more receptive to the approach later in the night.
Right as she is in state, so am I.
The next thing I’d like to talk about is the type of openers I use most frequently.
I think ANY guy, either someone who has studied this stuff or not, feels like the situational opener is the easiest and most logical way to start talking to a girl.
It just makes sense.
She’s wearing a weird hat, and you say:
“What’s up with that hat?!”
-and the conversation is started.
But what about those times when you don’t have anything witty to say right off the bat?
Well I prefer a new type of opener which I call FORCED SITUATIONAL OPENERS.
I use these ALL THE TIME.
The reason they work is because you can use them in ANY interaction.
They sound like a logical reason for starting a conversation, and you feel more comfortable because as a man, for whatever reason guys feel more comfortable when it “makes sense” that they would go talk to the girl.
Obviously, the reason should be just because you think she is hot, and that is a great way to open the girl, but not always the right move based on the social dynamics of the situation, and sometimes guys have problems with this.
Anyways, again these work great because they can apply to any situation.
Here’s a list of my favorites:
You look bored.
You look lonely.
You look sad.
You look fun.
So easy. Yet so powerful.
The bored one is my favorite at the moment because I love just going up to the craziest ADD dancing girls. They are usually running around, freaking out, and I’ll go up…
“Ay! You guys look bored!”
-Remember ALWAYS breaking rapport tonality on the opener…
And it opens every time.
Again, it doesn’t even have to make SENSE. It’s just a way to get it to open.
The thing to realize with the opener, is that IT DOESN’T MATTER AT ALL.
The whole basis behind finding an opener that works for you is purely to find something that you are confident in.
And like I said, most guys are usually confident when it comes to a logical reason for talking to the girl.
So why not force something that fits every scenario?
There ya go…
It also has the benefit of being short.
No long scripts to rehearse, no long lines to fuck up.
So to sum up, let’s see why guys get approach anxiety and how we just found some easy ways to fix it.
One of the biggest reasons guys get nervous is because they get to the club and feel like when they see that first girl they need to take things all the way! Push it fully!
No!
It builds up too much anxiety, dependence on the outcome. So just use the criteria that you are just going to approach her, and that is enough. Nothing else.
That is the big first step. Then when you know that you have something situational that you can open her with, it helps out even more to boost your confidence. And when you know you can’t forget the opener, it pushes your confidence even higher.
Try it out. And again, ultimately you want to get to the point where you can use anything to open, but especially at the start of the night, or at the start of your development, these concepts can help out a great deal.