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[TobiasK]

BY Brad- | September 13th, 2010 at 8:08 AM
Tweaking your verbal game for ultimate success


Time for another round of question and answer guys.
This time, we will be discussing some specifics related to verbal game:


AmbitiousObsessive34 Wrote:
Brad, if i dont have the fun instinct, or its just plainly sucks. What can i do while out (can i do it at other times?) to build and exercises it?
Same question for humour.

Yep, guys ask "How do I self amuse? How do I become more playful?"

At RSD, what do we answer? Look inward.

What makes you laugh? What makes you smile?

What movies do you like?

Really come to recognize what it is that makes you laugh, and find ways to make things fun and playful for yourself.

If you are having fun, the girl will too.

Whatever you feel, she feels.


flux Wrote:
What's the advantage of being instantly verbally direct with girls?

I think you can use sub-communication, eye contact, teasing and kino to make it 'on' but to actually SAY whats happening is just giving her all the power, it's like your showing all your cards and making HER the decider. It's also often said never to say directly that you're taking her home for sex...so doesn't that go against the verbaly direct game that is often talked about?

I can see the advantage in doing it for quick club make-outs but is it generally really better?

The more I go direct, in different scenarios, the more I think it is the ABSOLUTE SHIT!

It just cuts to the chase. Don't you think it is obvious why you are going up to her anyways?

Like even if you ask something like "What time does this club get busy?"

She knows whats up. You could have asked the staff. You could have asked a dude. It's obvious.

So the reason direct works so well, is because you cut through the bullshit. You convey SUPER high value traits because you are unapologetic, you are a man of action, when you see something you want you go for it.

As for the "showing your cards" concept, here's the scoop.

I lke what Tyler calls the "Prince Harry" concept.

Think of the frame that Prince Harry has when he goes up and approaches a girl.

It's like... He has everything: royalty, rich, celebrity, all the girls in the world...

Let's say he stepped to a girl, his frame: "Hi, I thought you were cute... But what ELSE do you have?"

Just because a girl is physically attractive doesn't mean she's completely won me over.

It should be the same for you. Just because you go up to some girl, and she is smoking hot, if she is dumb as rocks, are you still as turned on?

The idea of showing all your cards would only apply if you ONLY value her looks.

There is something to be said too about how if you go in HARD and DIRECT it cuts through a lot of the social pleasantries and just hits them on a raw level of primal attraction.

This is almost what you are getting at with the quick makeout thing. You convey so much value, so much raw masculinity, that it fries their logical brain and they just go instantly wet.

Yeah, you can turn this into an instant makeout, or ride the wave all the way to your bedroom.


jona20cr Wrote:
Hi Brad,

I am very logical, How I can change my communication skills to be more emotional??

how to escalate the interaction verbally, from the opener to the make out???

Thanks

Jonathan

Men are logical, women are emotional.

If you look at the 2 separate parts of the brain there is the left hemisphere which is VERY logical, word forms/language/representations...

And then there is the right hemisphere which is more creative, holistic, and probably emotional -although that is my own language and deduction...

So the goal is to turn off the left side of the brain and get into that creative zone where things are just flowing naturally.

The biggest thing you can do is gain a intellectual understanding to stop worrying about being attractive and realize that when you stop worrying and have self-trust, everything takes care of itself.

That is true attraction/high value/confidence/self esteem...

But then... What do we talk about? Well check out my article on vomiting words... http://www.rsdnation.com/brad/blog/milli...vomit-girl

As for how to escalate to the makeout...

That is not done on the level of words man... Anything can lead to a makeout.

Checkout my facebook profile for a video of me kissing a girl after she says my glasses are lame.

Or the youtube clip where no specific word leads to the makeout.

What I have come to realize is that the verbal part of the interaction remains pretty consistent, it is a neutral slop, not upward.

Your physicality and time spent together are what escalate the interaction fluidly towards the makeout.


And as usual, let’s end with another personal question…


Proximity Wrote:
Did you proactively try to become an instructor and planned it even before your first bootcamp or did it just sorta happen?

I went into my bootcamp thinking a little bit... "Yeah, I'm pretty cool, I think I could do this. I'm gonna show Alex whats up!"

But if I had a quarter for every guy who said that they wanted to teach this stuff... I'd be RICH!

I put myself in front of the right people as much as possible to get this gig. It wasn't like they just called me up and were like "Wanna teach?"

I'd already met Papa 3-4 times, had been interning for 6 months, assisted on 6-7 Alex bootcamps, been to 2 superconferences, a VERY active poster on RSDN...

And worked on my game a lot, worked hard as an intern, and prolly paid about 10,000 in airline tickets and bootcamps that I didn't have...

Not suggesting you do the same, but more than anything, work your ass off and people will notice.

For whatever you end up doing in life as a career, go read Think and Grow Rich. Develop that true desire and start creating value.

Eben Pagan says that for every dollar you receive it takes about 10X the value creation to get 1X back.

So create 10X the value in whatever you choose to do, and have the desire and motivation to push through, and the higher quality the value you give, the more you will get in return