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[TobiasK]

BY Brad- | September 5th, 2011 at 10:15 AM
Forcing The Fun Factor: How to Dominate ANY Party
Even though I’ve taken the last 2 weekends off, it seems like there is never enough time in the day.

The traveling lifestyle literally STEALS hours from your day.

On the one hand, you have the dead time spent in airports, airplanes, taxis, and lines that you could normally spend being productive.

But you also have the added complexity of being in a different place all the time, with different friends/colleagues, and WANTING to spend time with them because you see them so irregularly.

Yesterday’s quagmire was a perfect example.

I stayed up until 6AM working on the newsletter and other internet ventures, knowing that my family was going to the zoo at around 10AM the next day.

10AM rolls around, and my niece comes knocking on the door. I have 3 options:

1. Sleep some more

2. Wake up and start working again

3. Go to the zoo with the family

I chose the zoo.

Not because I was lazy, I actually kind of preferred to start working on shit, but I figured it was probably the only time I’d be able to bond with the fam over the next few months.

Time well spent, then went straight into a 2 hour meeting with a friend who was starting an internet business, straight to driving 2 hours to play keyboards with my old band, straight back home…

And then I started to work again.

Ay! I feel like every day is like this.

I couldn’t imagine if I had a 9-5 job.

HAHAHAHAHA!

Oh yeah… I have a job. Might as well get into that topic for a bit, and bring out the PARTY!

Dominance

A ubiquitous RSD buzzword.

What is dominance, how do we cultivate it, what mindsets ultimately create the most dominant frame?

Well, you might have realized that over the past couple of weeks, I’ve started emphasizing self amusement more and more.

I’ve noticed how much I actually sub consciously utilize self amusement in my everyday conversations, as much as when I’m chatting up the random girl…

I’ve said it before, but whenever a guy is having issues with his conversations not being playful enough, it’s always a matter of shining the mirror back onto himself and finding out what is FUN FOR HIM.

Like always, it’s nice that it’s under your control.

You have fun, so will the person you are talking to.

So how does dominance correlate with self amusement?

If you look at dominance from a fundamental level, most people view it from a superficial perspective.

They try to be dominant by cultivating dominant “traits.”

They take on the attributes of a pimp, or a caveman, or whatever alpha stereotype seems to be an example of a dominant man.

But ultimately there is only one thing dominance comes down to…

Your frame of reality.

I don’t like calling it a battle, but basically every interaction you have with someone is a battle of frames.

Each of you comes with a certain idea of how you view yourself compared to the other person, and then whoever’s frame is stronger, usually wins out.

And I’ve found one frame more than any other creates MASSIVE amount of social value and literally attracts people to you like moths to a light.

Force the Fun

Be the party. I’ve just decided that NO MATTER WHAT, I’m gonna make shit fun.

Everyone hopefully knows someone that is this type of person.

You know the guy that is always the life of the party?

The guy where you could be tired, or with a friend, and the moment he shows up, the whole vibe changes.

You start getting excited, laughing. It’s just fun.

What creates this characteristic inside someone?

It’s just a really strong frame of positivity.

Everything is awesome.

Lower Your Fun Factor

Most people set the bar so high for happiness. They need an amalgam of things to be great in their life before they can feel good.

But as always, positivity is a choice.

Just DECIDE to have fun.

And by knowing that the stronger frame wins out… FORCE IT!

Force the fun. In everyday life!

Of course this is highly potent in the night club environment. You have to be having fun there if you want to accomplish anything.

But even during the day.

There is No Daygame!

I had an epiphany a few weeks ago.

I realized there was no such thing as daygame.

I was in Stockholm with a bunch of friends, and we were just joking around, laughing, having a good time walking down the street.

A bachelorette party walks past, and my buddy Ruben laughs at the girls, goes over to the bachelorette, PICKS HER UP, and carries her off literally 200 meters away.

At first the girls were screaming and laughing, and as he got further away, they were less enthusiastic, and started to get confused. Haha.

But the crew we were rolling with was laughing UNCOTROLLABLY. It was hilarious.

It doesn’t have to be some serious, serendipitous moment when you meet a girl.

Be laughing, be joking around, be a FORCE! A MAGNET!

Make the choice to have fun in EVERYTHING you do.

Again, it’s a complete choice.

Enjoy life and people naturally will want to be around you. Make the decision, don’t wait for someone else, SOMETHING else to pump up the fun.

Why Don’t We Always Have This Fun Factor?

Well just like being social, forcing positivity and having fun requires ENERGY.

It’s easier just to sit back, chill, and be all introspective.

It takes WORK to force a smile, to start to laugh, to embrace life and not make excuses.

Tyler talks about this in the Blueprint Decoded. How if I were to ask you… As you read this… “Do you want to be the party right now, have fun, and be happy?”

Of course you’d answer yes.

But in reality, it’s so much easier just to chill back, and get all introspective, keep surfing the web, or reading your email…

You can’t ping off the environment!

Force the fun, and become that extroverted, social, positive force of nature.

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Not to say I’m there yet myself. But I’m pushing more and more to just be fucking fantastically fun all the time.

It DRAWS people in.

It creates this aura, where people are just attracted to you. They want to be with you, be like you.

The warm end of the pool.

Fuck yeah, I’ll be forcing the fun in Manhattan this weekend. Haven’t been back in a long time.

I had to get a haircut so I didn’t look all hipster in the Lower East Side. Now I’m smooth like a sleek moose and gonna tear shit up.

Have a good weekend.

Oh! And are you enjoying my new articles in the RSD Newsletter?

I’m hammering away at em, should have another 10 or so done in the next week, DESPITE this travel schedule…