Brad@RSD Samlade artiklar.

[TobiasK]

BY Brad- | October 5th, 2011 at 6:11 PM
Be Nice, Get the Girl: Why it’s Alright to Be Nice
Whatup Sir

Gotta give luv to the girls on here too.

It’s good being back in the US after a few months in Europe. I was literally eating like crap everyday.
Pizza, McDonalds, the McDs rip off Max Burger in Scandinavia…

No good.

Now it’s organic berries, grass fed beef, sushi, and smoothies on the regular, and I can feel the increase in productivity already.

Oh yeah!

So today I want to bring up a topic that came up recently on one of my bootcamps.

There was a student attending that had previously taken a few bootcamps with other RSD instructors, and he noticed something different about me…

I’m nice.

Haha, well I guess compared to guys like Jeffy or Ozzie, I probably do seem like a nice guy. Must be my
Midwestern values, hehe, I spent the first 25 years or so secluded in the middle of Wisconsin. That’s near Chicago for all you international folk.

Anyway, how can I get away with espousing niceness as a life value when it seems like being nice is one of the first things “gurus” in this industry condemn?

Well, it’s because most guys are pussies around girls.

What?!

Now I’m confused?

It is a little confusing, so let me break it down.

The problem most “nice guys” have is that they try to be nice to GET THE GIRL.

They buy her flowers, act as a shoulder to cry on, do all sorts of gay things to try and get the girl.

You see, I am nice, but NOT TO GET THE GIRL.

Now if I start talking to the girl, and she breaks her ankle, my natural inclination is to help her out. I’m a nice guy, no need to see someone in pain.

But if I’m trying to GET with her, and she’s not writhing in pain, I know that niceness is not the way to get there.

In actuality being nice is probably one of the most manipulative approaches towards getting anything.

“Ooh, I’ll just be nice, and then maybe I can get with her! Hehehehe”

It’s half in jest, because most nice guys just don’t know what else to do, and TV, magazines, movies, and your mother have taught you to be nice to girls.

But you see how there is a disconnect? What makes you think niceness is going to lead to the girl.

So the distinction needs to be made about what your end goal is.

Being nice is a life value of mine, I just don’t feel right being mean. But I also know that if I want to get the girl, then being nice is not the answer.

This doesn’t mean I need to turn into a dick either, you just need to know what a girl responds to.

Back to the old high value, leadership, authoritative attractive values front. The main things you want to convey to the girl is that you’re able to handle yourself as a man, you don’t take yourself too seriously, and are a man of action.

So as an example, lets show one aspect where instead of being nice, what the girl really wants is for you to assert your value.

I remember having a guy on program, and he was talking about his ex-girlfriend. He just didn’t understand why she repeatedly accused him of cheating on her, his response:

“Baby, of course I’m not cheating on you, why would I ever do that. I don’t get it, why do you think I’m cheating?!”

And he proceeded to buy her things, cuddle with her, and try everything possible to get in good terms with her and rebuild the relationship.

But what he didn’t realize is that all his girlfriend really wanted was for him to assert his authority, his dominance. For whatever reason, some girls need more of this than others, and it’s just another way of her testing to make sure she is with the right man.

How should he have responded?

GIRL: You’re cheating on me, I can’t trust you.

ATTRACTIVE MAN: Hey! That’s enough girl! I don’t want to hear anymore about this shit!
You know I’m with you, and I’m sick of you bringing this crap up!

Now I’m not saying get all angry and start yelling at her, but you need to have a line that people don’t cross.

Me being from the Midwest again, my line is probably further than most, I’ll put up with a decent amount of crap from someone before I feel the need to assert my authority. But once that line is crossed…

It’s a HARD LINE.

Don’t let people push you around, show that you will not just bend over backwards to appease everyone.

So in summary, being nice is good, but you still need to have standards for what you put up with. Have boundaries for how people interact with you and a line that IS NOT TO BE CROSSED.

And as a good example of someone with a much shorter line, how about I give you none other than Jeffy in his DVD/audio product, The Jeffy Show.

Haha, I love this product because you get to see Jeffy in his full awesomeness, all the stories, scaring women out of his house with a garden hose, 3somes galore, and everything that it takes to “Get Laid or Die Trying” as he’d put it himself.

So check it out:

http://www.jeffyshow.com/

And as always, Enjoy!
Brad Branson, Executive Coach
bradbranson.com
REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS

P.S. Have you checked out the success stories on RSDNation lately? Oh my god, there have been some good bootcamp reviews. I like reading them because they take me back into the bootcamp experience, and you can learn a lot from reading how other people learned on the program. Check out some of the success stories at http://www.rsdnation.com/forums/success-stories